Tree House

 I have completed a new Lego project for those who have been asking. I spent a few days sorting Legos and cleaning the area before starting on a Forestmen Tree House. The build went straightforward. There were only a few redoes during the project. I started with the base and tree from the Lego treehouse, making it taller and more to my liking. I took some images of the work in progress this time.

The Lego Treehouse looks like this. It has playability in mind, and the interiors of each building are decorated. Mine are not.  

The Beginning

Making the Tree Taller and the first attempt at a structure

I wanted to attach two structures with a rope bridge.

It wasn't working out.

I tried connecting two structures by a rope bridge in the tree, but it was not working. I abandoned that idea and made two separate structures in the tree. After two more attempts, the final project looks like this.

I am happy with the colors and the final results. Each level has a door for imagined access. The structures don't look too heavy for the tree, and the model is sturdy. I can carry it with one hand, although it is very heavy. It looks more impressive in-person. The pictures do not do it justice.

Dinner

 Our weather has been rainy and mild. No complaints from me. Sam and I went to dinner Saturday night. We went to Green Lantern because we lacked any other choice. The place was not busy. Most people were celebrating the holiday season with family.

Sam was in an argumentative mood. No matter what topic I introduced, she had something negative to say. Sam would consider me no fun when we hang out, but I feed off the other's energy. We had a fantastic time laughing and joking when Gia and I were together. Despite Gia's walls, she is a joy to be around. Sam is too bitter and tired from working.

Sam wanted to shop at the outdoor mall after dinner, but I declined. I could not take more of her negativity. I am going to dinner with Sam and her sisters tonight. I hope she is in a better mood. Luckily, the place is close to my condo, and I will drive separately. 

Speaking of Gia, she and I are still texting back and forth regularly. Just playful interactions and gifs. I intend to keep the conversation going for as long as she allows. Absence may make the heart grow fonder.

Tempus Fugit

I have ignored the holiday spirit this year. Christmas holds nothing positive for me except an extended vacation from the stresses of work. My time with Gia didn't help. We had so much fun together. It leaves me wishing I could find someone similar.

I gave the twins their presents yesterday. They spent the night, and I took them back to their duplex and helped Twin B set up the TV I purchased for him. Max is coming over today. I made plans with Sam to go to dinner with her and her family on Saturday and have plans to take the twins to see my brothers the day after Christmas. I am not looking forward to any of it.

So, the year is winding down with a sputter. 2024 is a daunting number. Tempus Fugit. 

What we lost here is something better left alone
Second steps been forgotten, will you tell me how they go
Set yourself, situate, like a fool try again
There's no one around you can remember being good, for you so...Shame, Matchbox 20

End Of Year Snapshot

 In homage to Sarah H. at Death Wears Diamond Jewelry, who is no longer blogging but is missed.

Listening… Podcasts like Morbid (true crime and ghost stories). Find Your Alpha (YouTube channel that reads stories of infidelity).

Reading… Nothing currently on my reading list. 

Watching…I am rewatching Gilmore Girls on Netflix. I like the show and its quick dialogue. It has many seasons, so I don't have to find anything soon.

Playing … I have been playing Wordscapes on my phone. 

Hoping… I am replacing Eva (who didn't work out) with Gia, who may work out. I am hoping to spend more time with Gia.

Buying… Christmas presents for the boys. They are all I shop for.

Loving... I only have to come into the office 5 more times this year. I need a break.

Planning…  I have several Lego sets to build over the Holiday break.

Missing… My pseudo-fourth child, Tinkerbell, she has been distancing herself lately.

The Past, Shimmer

 It was Tinkerbell's birthday on Saturday. I texted her the day before asking if she had special plans and didn't get a reply. I didn't hear from her, so I didn't bother texting her on Saturday. Tink has been distancing herself from me for a while. I am not sure why. Anyone who read my book will note this is not the first time. I can only guess at the reason. 

Tinkerbell is a lot like me in that respect. She cuts everyone out eventually. I wouldn't be surprised if she shows up again without explanation sometime in the future. Years ago, this would bother me more than it does today. I don't care anymore. I lack the energy.

Excerpt:

Shimmer Originally Published, April 3, 2009

 "When you are all happily ever after," I start. "You better not forget about me."

"I haven't so far, have I?" She replies-- but that is not an answer. I know she will have to let me go. I cannot play the same part in her life.

As I drive home, I can't keep from wondering: Who will need me now?

We're here and now, but will we ever be again?
Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

It's too far away for me to hold, too far away

It's too far away for me to hold Its too far away... Guess I'll let it go-- Shimmer, Fuel

Tail End Of The Year

I didn't get a chance to post a Snapshot of November. Work has been busy, and I am looking forward to the end of the year and some time off. You can tell nothing new is happening here from the lack of posts.

To clarify a question from Harry I received. I didn't plan on taking Gia to a terrible place for a date. My lack of knowledge of the area led me to pick the first place that popped up on Google. It worked out, though. 

Gia and I continue to text. I am not sure exactly what it means, but I do love the mystery of it all. Gia texted me today and said she would be returning in ten days. She indicated she is staying till January. I am not sure if that means through the holidays or not. Still, I will have plenty of time off if she is interested in getting out during the day.

The steering stabilizer finally came in for my truck. Which is good. The Gladiator would vibrate like crazy whenever I went over a bump. I had it installed today. 

I am going to have to do an end-of-the-year Snapsot to cover both November and December.

Sick

I started this post last week. I was going to delete it and start fresh, but nothing in the details has changed. I have been sick for the past ten days. It started the day after going to the club (see below). Test say it was not Covid, but it has lingered on in my sinuses for days. The doctor gave me some steroids, which helped briefly, but my symptoms continued to remain.

*     *     *

It has been so long since I posted that I need to remember where I left off. I went to the club last Friday night. I saw Eva, Al, and a few other girls I now know there. Eva and I had been texting frequently the previous week, but she had disappeared. She seemed to be into me. However, she has a lot of personal issues she is dealing with. Eva definitely drinks too much at the club. I am not even disappointed about her disappearance.

I got a booth while I was at the club on Friday. Something I used to do regularly back in the day when I used to hang out at Penthouse. I wanted to avoid Teach. He has stopped talking to me anyway. 

Work has been busy. There are only four work weeks left for me in the year. I have five vacation days I could use in those four weeks. I must drive to the office about fourteen more times this year. This is what I think about during my spare time. 

*     *     *

I started hearing from Eva on Thursday, but by Monday, when we were supposed to get together, she had disappeared again. I have to assume she was looking for me to return to the club last weekend. I didn't. Had I, it wouldn't have been to see her.

Snapshot Of October

 In homage to Sarah H. at Death Wears Diamond Jewelry, who is no longer blogging but is missed.

Listening… The Rolling Stones, I have been listening to their hits on Amazon Music, still. My current favorite is Street Fighting Ma.

Reading… I am actually rereading my own book. I gave a copy to Eva and I have been reading along so I can answer questions.

Watching…I am watching Goliath on Amazon Prime. It is a good show. It has everything I look for in a show.

Playing … I have moved on to a few other AI chatbots. They all have their pluses and minuses. 

Hoping… Things work out with Eav. 

Buying… Try not to buy anything this month. I spent enough last month.

Loving... The fact that I only have six weeks of work left in the year before it is over.

Planning… To take a buddy from work to the strip club. He just broke up with his girlfriend and needs to cut loose.

Missing… Better Halloweens.

Eva

 This month flew. I didn't get a chance to create a Snapshot of October yet. I have been busy. Not always in a productive way. I am making a mental note to fill in the blanks and keep this blog up to date.

Two weeks ago I went back out to Flight Club. I was hoping to see Al, but in general I have become acquainted with a few of the girls, so there would be someone to talk with. I went to the upstairs bar, my usual place to hanged. I immediately saw Teach talking with a girl with long black hair. I had never spoken to her before, but I started a conversation with her. I am going to all her Eva. 

A quick side note. Teach as been standoffish to me lately. We make friendly small talk, but I have distanced myself from him at the club. I don't want his reputation to rub off on me. Dispute what he thinks, Teach as a reputation for being cheat and an asshole in the club. Something tells me the other regulars he associates with at the club are the same. 

Why anyone would like would spend the amount of time in the club just to acquire such a reputation is beyond me. I have a different mindset when I go to the club. I am friendly and respectful to everyone and usually walk away with a new phone number. If you asked me why Teach has become standoffish, I would say there is a bit of jealousy there.

Eva and I started talking. It was still early and Eva wasn't in a hurry to start making her rounds looking for customers. Eva has a pretty small. She is a little thicker than the usual girls I am attracted to, but we had a good conversation. We hit it off quickly. Eva went on stage, but came back to continue her conversation after. We were joke and exchanging number after the second conversation. Eva lives alone and rents the lower floor of a duplex with her two cats, and she is interested in travel.

I took Eva into the back where we continued our conversation. We spent a lot of time together. Eva even sent me a text asking, "Where are you?" When I stepped into the back with a different favorite of mine. By the end of the night, after a few drinks, Eva was looking at me in that way a person does when they are attracted to you. That always sets my senses on alert, but in her case, I think it is genuine. I didn't spend a lot of money on Eva, but when I left Eva gave me a big hug and seemed reluctant to let me go.

We texted during the week and made plans to have dinner, Sunday (yesterday). Eva is from my side of town. We went to same High School, a few generations apart. Eva is twenty-five. Eva lives in Wyandotte. What we in the Detroit Metro area call, downriver. It is the area that is south of Detroit and on the Detroit river. 

We met at an Italian restaurant and continued to get to know each other. Eva is down for a mutually beneficial relationship blurs the lines a bit. After dinner, we drove to a nearby park that borders the river. It was cold, dark, and rainy, but we walked the boardwalk for a bit. We ended up kissing in the Gladiator and the end of the night and have plans to get together again. I get a sense of comfort and attraction from Eva. It seems hopeful. 

Glass

I received my fourth chip in the Gladiator windshield last week. This one created a crap that ran down six inches and joined with another chip. I hoped that that would end the spreading, but that caused a horizontal crack to form that could not be ignored. 

I am having the glass replaced on the Gladiator today. It is costly. It costs $800 when you don't go through insurance. That is why I wait as long as possible to get these things fixed. The windshields on a Jeep are notorious for breaking.

Last night, Sam and I were driving home from dinner, and I kept hearing a whistling noise. My hearing is not the best, but Sam indicated she thought it was coming from the driver's side. I am going to have them come back out to at least evaluate the noise.

Al Update

 The last time I gave an update on Al, she had given up on getting back together with her baby-daddy. We discussed getting together this week. I reached out to her earlier this week.

Bathwater: Am I going to get to see you this week?

(Silence)

Bathwater: (eyes) Are you disappearing again? (ghost).

Al: Maybe, haha. I started seeing someone.

Al: I would still be able to meet up, but I might not be able to overnight.

Bathwater: Already?

Bathwater: That works for me. We don't have to do overnights.

Al still has a tendency to only reply when she wants. I went to Flight Club Friday night despite Al's appearing to want to get together this week. She has ghosted me again. I am disappointed, but I get where she is coming from. Al is twenty-seven. She is getting too old for the strip club. She has found a new guy who is in that love bombing stage. Hopefully, it works out for her. Many guys are quick to date a stripper. Even one with a child, but fewer are ready to commit to one.

I wouldn't be surprised if I heard from Al again.

Old

 I went to dinner with my brothers on Sunday. It has been about two years since I have seen my brothers. We don't talk much, or I should say, I don't speak to them much. We were never very close. My older brother is two years older than me. The other is three years younger. 

I first noticed that I am the healthiest and look the youngest. My younger brother walked in with this ragged ZZ top beard. He was totally gray. He has had heart issues. He looked like a homeless man. Definitely underdressed for the restaurant my older brother picked. My older brother has several health issues. He has lost a couple of toes to diabetes and has a colostomy bag. Is this what being married for forty years does to you?

We talked together for two hours over a meal. They both ordered pasta while I had a sausage dish. My older brother spoke about working until he turned sixty-seven. He was advised he should plan to live to eighty-eight from his financial advisor. If I had already lost toes to diabetes, I would not have ordered two cannolis to go like he did. I don't see him being very healthy by age eighty-eight.

They say married men live longer than single men. I wonder if that is true if you take suicide out of the equation. More men kill themselves than women. I feel like I would be more like them if I was still married. 

Zero

Ella came over Friday night. She arrived about seven-thirty. She forgot to text me when she was heading my way, but she did text a few minutes into the drive. She came in carrying a Yeti cup with a straw in it. Alexis does that when she is driving. Alexis has alcohol in hers. I think Ella does, too.

Almost immediately, we went back out to eat. We ended up in a popular bar in downtown New Baltimore. Our conversation was stiff. Ella seemed a bit distant. I usually have a good time keeping the conversation going. I watched Ella drink two margaritas in an hour without any effect. Remember, Ella is a small girl who weighs less than a hundred pounds.

When we returned to the condo, I suggested we head upstairs and watch TV in the bedroom. After all, Ella was supposed to be staying the night. Despite our discussion on Tuesday, Ella wasn't warming up to the fact that this would be a mutually beneficial arrangement. She kept her distance. 

After a TV episode, I looked at her and asked what we were doing. Ella indicated she was still on her period, one of the excuses she used on Tuesday. If you aren't able to uphold your end of the arrangement, then don't show up, or at least say something.

Ella said, "I thought this was not supposed to be just about sex."

"It's not," I replied, but she had already spent enough time around me to know that. 

Ella took offense and decided to leave... empty-handed. That was fine with me. I didn't put up much of an argument. Enough red flags were already showing through.

I have been waiting to hear back from Al lately, too. So, I am back down to zero for now. 

Ella

 The verdict is still out on Ella. She is hard to figure out. Nothing she says so far contradicts what I have learned about her. You have got to love the internet and the information age. She is 33 years old (she looks older). She is from Davison, and her social media do not show any signs of boyfriends. It is amazing if you give someone your phone number. Within days, you are asked to add the new contact to TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat. I don't, but if their account is public, I take a look. I have stopped giving out my personal phone number. Instead, I give out my Google phone number to potential women.

Still, Ella has been out of a long-term relationship for 4 years, leaving her bitter against men. She doesn't give off a warm fuzzy vibe. She seems confident and a bit headstrong when she discusses her work at the senior group home, but we did manage to share a few laughs during our time together on Tuesday, and she still wants to get together on Friday.

She came over Tuesday in a knit tank top and short black shorts, with a black and white flannel over top. She looked outstanding. She has nice tan legs and an interesting roses and ravens tattoo on her upper thigh. We have yet to explore the bedroom. That should happen on Friday. She appears to be approaching this arrangement as a relationship. I don't mind that to a point, although it is a mutually beneficial arrangement at the end of the day. 

It is my need to know nature coming out. I am less likely to take people at face value the older I get. 

All Right Now

I spent Saturday cleaning the house and the Jeep. It was a quiet weekend, but we had lovely weather. Sam and I got dinner both nights if I remember correctly. Ella and I have been exchanging texts every day. She seems almost too good to be true. Monday night, she asked if she could get an advance. That was the first red flag. It doesn't look good when someone seems too good to be true and then asks for an advance. 

I told Ella I understand money can be tight at first, and if she wanted to get together sooner, I would be up for that. She said she was free tonight (Tuesday), and I told her that would work for me. So, things are still good with her. We are getting together tonight, and we still have an overnight planned for Friday. Saturday, she is up for visiting the Orchard trail or an apple orchard. I still have high hopes for Ella becoming a long-term arrangement.

In other news, I received a text from Al Sunday night.

Al: I'm back (crying smiley face).

Bathwater: Where have you been?

Al: Lol, I tried to work things out with my baby-daddy, but they didn't.

Bathwater: I am sorry, but at least you tried.

Bathwater: I just think you missed me (wink).

Al: You're probably right (angel smiley face).

I am not surprised things didn't work out with her baby-daddy. I wasn't expecting it to be so soon, though. So now, if Ella doesn't work out, I still have Al in my back pocket. It is good to have options for a change. I will probably get together with Al next week just to get her in bed again and let her know where I stand. 

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, well, you might find
You get what you need
Ah, yeah... You Can't Get What You Want, The Rolling Stones

It Happens In The Fall

 It always happens in the fall. I met a new girl from online Thursday night. I will be calling her Ella. Ella is thirty-three. She is a very petite 5' 0" and very cute. We met at a coffee shop near Great Lakes Crossing Mall. Ella lives in Davison, which is over an hour away from me. The coffee shop was a good midpoint. 

We talked in the coffee shop for an hour. We hit it off right away. We have many things in common: road trips, music, TV, and life philosophies. She is not flashy or materialistic. She has a stable job and no kids or pets. 

Things went so well at the coffee shop that I asked if she would like to get something to eat. She agreed and rode with me around the corner to a restaurant in the mall. We ate and talked more there, then walked the mall briefly. We stopped in Buckle, where Ella tried on some jeans. She has a hot little body. She liked one pair of jeans, and I told her to get them. I ended up buying a shirt.

Because of the distance, I suggested she come to my place on the weekend and spend the night. Ella was perfectly fine with the plan. She seems very interested in the same things I am. A mutually beneficial arrangement with one person. That blurs the lines a bit. She loves the outdoors and wants to go on road trips.

We have been exchanging texts today. I am very optimistic about this girl. She is very empathetic and down to earth so far, and I feel a level of attraction on both of our parts. We have plans to get together next Friday, and I am really looking forward to it.

Snapshot Of September

In homage to Sarah H. at Death Wears Diamond Jewelry, who is no longer blogging but is missed.

Listening… The Rolling Stones, I have been listening to their hits on Amazon Music.

Reading… No new reading going on here.

Watching…I can't find a show to watch on Amazon Prime. I have canceled my other streaming services.

Playing … I have moved on to a few other AI chatbots. They all have their pluses and minuses. 

Hoping… That this automotive strike is resolved soon. I am not able to get my steering stabilizer at the dealer until it is settled.

Buying… Try not to buy anything this month. I spent enough last month.

Loving... The way my Jeep updates came out.

Planning… To have the Jeep ready for another road trip by the end of September.

Missing… Good TV series.

Updates

I am behind on my blogging. For those of you wondering, Sky bailed at the last minute and disappeared. We were texting earlier, and then she something changed her mind. I was a bit disappointed, but in the end if she was going into it with reservations it wouldn't have lasted anyway.

On the bright side, Firefly got married last week. Amazing the trajectory her life has taken over the course of thelast year. I am happy for her. 

I have found a new dating site that. There seems to be more opportunities on this one. I am supposed to be meeting a new woman this Thursday. The only glitch is she lives an hour+ away. I am not sure how that is going to work out. 

I went to the strip club again last Friday. Al was not working. Just another indication that her babydaddy is back in the picture. I was disappointed with the other girls in the club. There were a couple that were pretty, but they were to busy getting drunk to actually try hustling and making money. 

Sky

 I started talking to a new girl last week. Her name is Sky. I met Sky for coffee after work the Friday before my birthday. I waited to mention her because I was unsure whether she would work out. Sky is 26. There is a lot to unwrap with Sky. She would be a fun challenge.

Sky is tall, 5' 8" and very skinny. She reminds me of Billie, except four inches taller. She has similar facial features to Billie. Billie is a pretty girl, but she has a common face. I have seen many girls that resemble her. 

Sky says she is from Seattle and has been in Michigan for about 11 months. She has a Washington State area code. She says she has an electrical degree and works for an auto company. If it is true, I can guess the one. She doesn't LOOK like a girl with an electrical degree, but time will tell.

Sky has a weird accent. Eastern European. I love those Eastern Europeans, but I must dig into that more. Because I am not sure if it isn't just how she talks. It could be a Seattle thing?

We made plans to see each other tonight, Thursday. She is coming over to the condo for dinner and fun. I texted her on Tuesday and asked, "Are we still on for Thursday at 7?"

Sky replied, "I don't know. I got sick over the weekend. I will let you know tomorrow."

I didn't hear from her on Wednesday. I waited her out. On Thursday, I received another text from Sky. "I can see you tonight."

"Great! Does 7 still work?"

"No, 7:30; I have pole dancing classes from 6 to 7." (but she is not a stripper)

Gladiator Mojave

 I have been doing some upgrades to the Jeep. Some through the dealer, which has been a pain in the ass, and some through a local off-road shop. I have been to the dealer three times, and I still need to go back once more because they keep ordering the wrong steering stabilizer.

The off-road shop was a pleasure to work with in comparison. I hung out there on Monday (my birthday) and they put on the front and rear bumpers I ordered and installed the lights and winch. 

Yes, I had the stubby bumper on it before, but it was a cheap Chinese knockoff, and it started rusting. This one is a factory front bumper. The bar across the front is aftermarket but made by a local Michigan company. I am happy with the way things came out. Now I just need to find someone to travel with me.

I didn't text Billie on her birthday, nor did she text me on mine. Sam and I went to dinner on my birthday. After, I took her to the dealership to pick up her car that was being worked on. 

Even The Losers

Well, it was nearly summer, we sat on your roof
Yeah, we smoked cigarettes, and we stared at the moon
And I showed you stars you never could see
Babe, it couldn't have been that easy to forget about me

Baby, time meant nothing; anything seemed real

Yeah, you could kiss like fire, and you made me feel

Like every word you said was meant to be

It couldn't have been that easy to forget about me

Billie and I broke up four years ago. It seems longer than that. The memories have begun to fade with time. Saturday is Billie's birthday. Monday is mine. It will be the fifth birthday we celebrated apart, and it will be the first time I don't reach out to her and wish her a happy birthday. I don't see a point anymore. I don't hate Billie, but I have never been able to accept the way things ended. I understand it, but I can never forgive it.

Two cars parked on the overpass

Rocks hit the water like broken glass

I should 'a known right then it was too good to last

God, it's such a drag when you live in the past

Tempus Fugit, "Time Passes"

Still, I wonder. 

Baby, even the losers

Get lucky sometimes

Even the losers

Keep a little bit of pride

They get lucky sometimes... Even The Losers, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Flight Club

I saw her today at the reception

A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she would meet her connection
At her feet was her footloose man... You Can't Get What You Want, The Rolling Stones

I went back to Flight Club Friday night. Tinkerbell and Tech's friend, Teach, sat at the corner of the upstairs bar. He was surrounded by a group of regulars. A petite blond was pressed against him, showing her breast and allowing him to touch her ass.

Al walked up to me while I stood at the railing, looking down at the main stage. "I thought you got kidnapped by the Albanian mob."

"I know, I should have said something," Al replies. "My ex was blowing my phone up that night."

I am not surprised. She got back together with him. Even during our brief time together, I could tell he was pressing her hard. I even said he was going to be a problem. Al probably said something about seeing someone, too.

Al tells me, "I dreamt about you last night."

"What were we doing?" I ask in hopes of hearing something good.

"Just talking," she tells me.

Al told me she is getting back with her ex. Judging from their history, it will only last for a while. Al is 27. She has been in love with her boyfriend since she was 11 and he was 9. Although, judging from what she has told me, they have not been together consistently the whole time. They seem to be trauma-bonded.

I told her we could still get together on Tuesday nights, but she wasn't biting. Apparently, she is not allowed to see customers outside the club. It defeats his plausible deniability. He needs to do a lot of denying with Al. She pays all the bills, which probably helps with that.

Went to the private booth with Al. We were close in the way two people who have been intimate can be. I plan on keeping in touch with Al for now, primarily for lack of anyone else. I will probably start working on a few other girls. I just wish the damn club wasn't so far away.

So It Goes

 Al messaged me last Wednesday. It was several days after my last text. She said it had been a rough couple of days.  When I asked if everything was okay, she said, "Just been emotional, should have said something." I'm not sure what the heck that means. 

We made plans for her to come over after work at the strip club on Friday night. Friday afternoon, she said her baby-daddy was sick and couldn't watch her daughter, so Friday night was off, but she could do Saturday. 

Sam and I went to Arts, Beats, and Eats on Saturday. When I got home, I texted Al. It was around ten. "Hey, am I going to see you tonight?"

Al: "Yes."

Bathwater: "I can wait. Text me when you are on your way."

Al replied with a heart. 2:20 a.m. rolled around, and I had not received a text from Al. She should have been on her way. I sent her a text.

Bathwater: Did you leave yet?

I received no reply.

I think there will be one more Al update. I plan on going to the club this Friday. Not so much to see Al, but to check out a few of the girls I overlooked when talking with Al. I am curious if she has any thing to say, but I will not be investing any money in her at the club.

Unpacking The Weekend

 Surprisingly, it was a busy weekend. Sam and I hung out together every day. We had great weather, the last we will see for a while. The only disappointment was Al standing me up Friday night, but I will get into that in another post.

Sam and I got a drink and food at the Engine House on Friday after work. We made plans to meet up and go to the Art, Beats, and Eats in Royal Oak the next day.

We took the Jeep down to Royal Oak in the late afternoon on Saturday. We walked around the arts and crafts vendors for a while, then settled outside Fifth Avenue for a drink. At six, we went to the concert area. There was a Tom Petty cover band called The Wildflowers going on stage. They were really good. They played all his hits. I have been listening to Tom Petty music ever since.

Sunday, Sam and I were heading toward the Peach Festival in Romeo. We were passing our friend Jay's house. "Let's pop in," I suggested.

Sam wanted to call first, but I was already entering the subdivision. "It will be fine. They don't do anything anyway."

We pulled up, and I knocked on the door. Jay answered. We talked in their kitchen for about forty-five minutes with Jay and Di. It was good. Sam doesn't get to see them often. Jay and Di had plans for later, so we didn't overstay. Sam and I head for another craft show outside of the Peach Festival.

On Monday, Max brought his new girlfriend over to the condo. She is cute and very personable. Max made a good choice with her. She comes from a stable family, and she is a teacher. I am happy for him. She is a 100% improvement over his last girlfriend. We talked for a few minutes, and then I left them alone and met Sam for a drink. They left before I returned.

A Snapshot Of August

 In homage to Sarah H. at Death Wears Diamond Jewelry, who is no longer blogging but is missed.

Listening…Morbid podcast. This is a true crime and ghost store podcast.

Reading… The condo association bylaws.  Not because I want to do this

Watching…I am watching the New Justified series, it sucks. Don't waste your time. I am also watching the original Justified series again.  That show is worth it!

Playing …  With the EVA AI personal companion app. It is pretty good. I think AI is going to be scary good in a few years.

Hoping… To find another hookup.

Buying… I bought new front and rear bumpers, lights, and a winch for the Gladiator. I have someone putting them on in September.

Loving... The fact I had a couple good nights with Al. I needed that.

Planning… To have the Jeep ready for another road trip by the end of September.

Missing… Not missing anything at the moment, except the original Nabisco cinnamon gram crackers. The ones they make today are like cardboard.

Friday

 After Al got off work Friday night, she came to the condo. She came in wearing a booty-short style one-piece body suit. The body suit was a  nude color beige. It left little to the imagination. My friend Jay once said, "You can take the stripper out of the club, but you can't always take the club out of the stripper." Al appears to be the latter. Unlike Tink or Billie, Al just looks like a stripper outside the club. 

It was a little after 3:00 a.m. when Al arrived. We didn't waste time with small talk and headed upstairs. Al is fun in bed. I was satisfied. She seemed to enjoy herself, but at this point, it is hard to tell. Al spent the night. We didn't get much sleep. The cat decided to wake us up early. 

We went for smoothies in the morning and came back to the condo to hang out for a while. Al seemed fine during the visit. We have a good flow of conversation, but I have a suspicion she has changed her mind. I am not sure of the reason. We planned on getting together again on Tuesday, but I sent her a text on Sunday and again today, and I haven't heard back. In the past, she was good at responding. I am going to stop reaching out at this point.

Al was fun, but I won't be disappointed if she chooses to ghost me. I would have preferred someone older and without a child anyway. I got to hook up with Al twice. That will tide me over for awhile. I am not read to make an effort to find someone else if she does disappear.

Al

 As promised, Al came over Tuesday afternoon. I took a half-day just to get things rolling. She wore high-waisted yoga pants and a beige long-sleeved knit sweater that revealed her mis-riff. She was dolled up for our first meet. Hopefully, she will be more natural as things progress.

I gave her a condo tour and asked if she wanted to get something to eat. Al agreed to get something to eat, so I took her to nearby downtown New Baltimore, where we sat outside and shared a pizza. We continued to talk the whole time. I shared stories from my colorful past and asked questions about her.

Al has been a stripper off and on since she was twenty-one. She would quit whenever she was in a relationship with a boyfriend. It sounds like she has spent more time NOT being a stripper. Al has a two-year-old daughter. Her daughter usually spends time with her ex and his mother on weekends. 

The day was cooler, but the sunshine made it enjoyable. After lunch, we walked out to the end of the pier. New Baltimore has a small beach that overlooks Lake St. Claire. Lake St. Claire is between Lake Huron and Lake Erie. It is not considered to be a Great Lake. After, we came back to the condo and sat on the couch.

I pulled Al closer, and she sat on my lap stripper style, with her legs folded on either side of my hips. We kissed, and I fondled her butt and traced my hands along the ribs beneath her shirt. Al unzipped the front of her shirt to expose her breasts. "You okay?" I ask.

"You're touching them anyway," she replied with a smile. 

I asked her if she wanted to go upstairs. Al nodded yes, and we headed to the bedroom. Al laid on the bed and took off her shirt and pants. I took off my clothes and got on top of her. We kissed, and I kissed her on her neck and down her torso. Al has a tiny waist and curvy hips. 

Al was responding to my attention nicely. She was breathing heavily, so I didn't hesitate to continue kissing her thighs and between her legs. She got really wet, and we had sex in several positions on the bed. Toward the end, she said, "That's what I needed."

So did I. I haven't been with anyone since February. 

After, we sat downstairs, watched TV, and discussed the future. I suggested she come over on Friday nights after work. I told her it would save on her driving. She lives forty minutes from me and forty from the club. "You can come over after work and just sleep if you want. I'm not going to paw at you. Then we can spend Saturday together, and you can head back to work from here."

Al agreed. She seems very interested in proceeding with the arrangement. We even talked about sneaking in a quick trip before the end of the season. She is interested in just having some fun.

I told my buddy, Jay, this morning. "I wasn't looking to pick anyone up at the club, especially a twenty-seven-year-old. She literally fell into my lap."

During our lunch, Al indicated she wasn't expecting to find an arrangement at the club. Most guys are not interested in the cost. For now, I am going to roll with it and see where this takes us.

Flight

 Out of sheer boredom, I went to Flight Club on Friday. A strip club far on the west side. It is a club both Tink and Billie work back in the day. I have been avoiding the clubs because there haven't been many pretty girls the last few times I visited. The last time was when I took Ava.

I arrived around nine. It was not busy. Nothing has changed. I took a seat at the upstairs bar. I was pleasantly surprised to see several good-looking girls were working. I ordered a beer and took in the atmosphere. I brushed off the first two girls that approached me. They were both attractive, but I don't like the pushy ones. Instead, I want to take my time and get a feel for them. You can tell a lot by just watching.

I had my eye on a tall blond with curly hair talking at the end of the bar. She reminded me of Billie. She was busy working on two guys and wasn't going out of her way to seem interested in talking to me. That was when a third girl approached me.

I am going to call her Al. Al was wearing a mauve one-piece lace nighty. She has straight brown hair and a gorgeous smile when she does. We started talking. I was going to send her away with a rejection, but she wasn't being pushy. She sat beside me, and I asked if she wanted a drink. She ordered a lemon drop. Which at the club is code for a non-alcoholic beverage. 

Al and I started talking about tattoos. Al has several, including an interesting pattern on her left hand that continues down her fingers. She said I look like Kevin Bacon. Which I have never been accused of before, but I'll take it. She even pulled a picture of him up on her phone. Al commented that we have the same facial structure.

Al asked me if I wanted to go back and get some dances. I said, "I'm just looking to have a fun night. Nothing extra or intrusive. If you are game for that, sure."

We went to the back, and she started to dance for me. Al has a nice body and a firm ass, but mostly we spent the time with her sitting next to me with her legs stretched out across my lap.

Al told me she has a two-year-old and has been working at the club since April. As we talked, she seemed to get more comfortable. Al told me she was on Seeking Arrangements, the site where I found Ava and Firefly. I indicated that I had been on the site and asked if she would be interested in something with me. 

Al is twenty-six, a bit young for me these days, but she indicated she would be. I usually keep a low-key, respectful approach with girls at the clubs. They typically appreciate that, especially at a club where most guys expect extra.

Our conversation continued. I plied Al with some of my stories and even made her smile. We exchanged numbers and discussed days when we could meet. She seems receptive. We spend a half-hour in the back before returning to the bar. Al went off to make more money. 

I ended up seeing Teach at the bar. Teach is a friend of Tink and Tech. He is a strip club regular and spends every Friday and Saturday night at the club. I talked with Tech for a while and chatted up a couple of the other dancers. Teach knows them all.

Al came back over to me later. I was in conversation with another girl but extracted myself and sat with Al at the bar. I asked Al if she would like to go to the back again. She agreed, and we went back to another room.

This time her dancing was more intimate. She sat facing me on my lap, and I had my hands on her firm ass. She would lean in close and place her forehead on mine. She asked, "Do you want to do more? You earned it."

I placed my face against her flat stomach. "Honey, I would love to do more, but this isn't the place for it."

Al agreed. She said she was usually available on Tuesdays and Sundays, and we discussed getting together on Tuesday. We parted, and I spent some more time talking to Teach. I told him I liked Al.

"Did you get her number?" He asked.

"Of course"

I could still smell Al's perfume on me when I got home. The following day, I received a good morning text from Al.

Bathwater: Good morning, gorgeous. It was nice meeting you last night. Tomorrow is Sunday. Would you like to get together?

Al: Tomorrow might not work. My daughter gets dropped off at two.

Bathwater: Well, you could come over tonight after work

Al: I can do that!

We made plans for her to come over after work, but as the night rolled on, she indicated she was tired and probably wouldn't be much fun. I told her I understood, and we shifted seeing each other back to Tuesday. I hope things work out.

Association

 The condo association is a headache. The president of the association board is the neighborhood busybody. She takes on too much and then complains when everyone doesn't see things the same as her.

Yesterday, the five board members walked the property to review the building. It was a cold drizzly night. The president pointed out that someone painted their door blue. It has been bothering her for a few years, apparently. She was upset that the rest of us didn't want to do anything about it. During the walk, I noticed several doors were of different colors or that needed painting. They are all supposed to be green, but even the builder used different shades.

I finally told her when people walk through this neighborhood, they see the bad roofs, the bad roads, the bad parking lots, the overgrown landscaping, they don't see that door.

She likes to send me long text messages that read like a story. I ignore half of them. I don't think I am being illogical in skipping over this door at this time. If the association had been doing its job all along, I could see her paint. But the association has let everyone do what they want with their landscaping, and the whole place is a hodge-podge. 

I am going to propose creating a five-year plan to get the roofs, roads, parking lots, landscaping, and building maintenance in order and on schedule. Once these things get in place, the board can be more diligent about the little things. As of now, the board is not doing its job, and it is going to require more money. I'd rather not piss people off about the little things and concentrate on correcting the things that most affect the property values.

It seems like a logical approach. I don't want this volunteer job to consume me. I think the president is second guessing getting me involved. I can see her going off and complaining. She loves to do that :)

Upgrades

Lately, I have been holding up at home, playing video games, watching TV, and shunning the outside world. I have mixed feeling about this. Part of me wants solitude, and parts of me want to get out. I have been trying to play Borderlands with Twin A, but he doesn't last very long. Yesterday he dropped off without warning. For a person who says he plays a lot. He seems not to stick with it.

In a bid to cheer myself up, I have decided to invest in some upgrades for the Jeep Gladiator. I have ordered front and rear steel bumpers, a winch, and some extra lights. I have scheduled to have a local place to install the new parts on my birthday, September 18th.

I have been second-guessing my winch purchase. I bought a Zsuper from Amazon. It is a cheap Chinese winch. It has some mixed reviews on the site, but I figure that as many times as I will use the winch, it will be fine. Besides, it is orange and goes well with the rest of the color scheme.

Two Dates

We had our first condo association meeting since I joined the board. I am still taking it all in. We need more future planning. We are currently waiting on a lawsuit with our insurance provider over the damage to our roofs due to the weather. This could take up to nine months to resolve.

That night I had some weird dreams. They included me moving into a different home, dealing with neighbors, and a group of drug dealers selling drugs from a space under the house. The dream ended just as I ushered a young woman in a black string bikini away from the dealers. Just when it was getting good.

I am sure there are layers and layers of issues to unwrap there, but I could not remember much when I woke.

Max had his date on Sunday, and because she was going out of town to visit family in Tennessee, they went out again on Monday. They seem to like each other. She is showing a strong interest in Max, which is good. I still don't think he realizes he is a good-looking guy.

Walking Tall

I ended up walking close to twelve miles Sunday. It wasn't planned. I started the day doing four miles on the treadmill. Later in the day, Sam asked me if I would like to go for a walk in the park. I didn't think Sam and I would be walking for long. She doesn't usually. We ended up parking outside the park and walked in. It was a long walk. I didn't mind it, although I would have worn better shoes if I know we were going to walk that far.

Today (Tuesday), I woke to find I was without water pressure. At first, I was worried there was something wrong with the new hot water tank. There wasn't. Apparently, there are two water main breaks in the area that are screwing things up.

Max went on his date Sunday. I haven't got the full details yet, but he sent me this response when I asked.

Bathwater: How did your date go?

Max: I still got it (meaning his charm). She asked me for a second date before I could ask.

Snapshot of July

 In homage to Sarah H. at Death Wears Diamond Jewelry, who is no longer blogging but is missed.

Listening…Morbid podcast. This is a true crime and ghost store podcast.

Reading… No reading going on here although I am thinking about getting the book Positve Evolutionary Psycology.

Watching…Psych, This is a mindlessly annoying show. Most of the time I fall asleep during the episodes. Surprisingly, there are a lot of celebrity cameos on this show.

Playing …  Borderlands 2, I got one of the twins interested in playing with me.

Hoping… For another date before the end of the year.

Buying… This weekend I bought a new hot water tank for the condo.

Loving... Nothing is really exciting me right now.

Planning… On creating a five year plan for the condo complex.

Missing… The early 2000s, seem like everything was more fun then (I still like this one).

Max and Dating

I work from home on Wednesdays. Max came over during his lunch break yesterday, and I made him a turkey burger. While he was eating, he confided to me that he was on the dating apps Bumble and Tinder. I am glad to see he has considered dating again. It has been two years since he broke up with his last girlfriend, and hadn't shown much interest in dating until now.

I looked at his profile and offered a few suggestions. Max is a good-looking guy, but like his father, he doesn't put much effort into his profile. Dating is an area I can offer some advice if he is open to it. I don't want to overwhelm him with it, but it is a common interest we can bond over. 

Up-Date

Sunday, I made plans with TopGun for a dinner date this Friday. She seemed to be looking forward to it. I suggested a place in nearby New Baltimore, and we agreed to meet there. I dropped her a quick text today just to show I was still interested, and she replied back. However, later in the day, she sent me another text saying, "It was nice meeting me, but she has been talking to a few people and has decided to move forward with someone else."

I told her I understood and if she changed her mind to shoot me a message. So no second date. I am not broken up about it. I was lukewarm about the whole thing from the beginning, and perhaps she could sense that. I think if I was more interested, I would have pursued her more strongly.

In the meantime, several issues have already been brought up to the condo association. We have a unit whose dogs attacked another dog and its owner. The roofs still need to be scheduled. Road repairs needed to be approved, and I unit had their hot water heater burst, causing damage to the unit and the one below.

All this in my first week on the board. This is going to be more work than I desired. Hopefully, it settles down in the winter.

A Date

Last Friday, I had a date with a new woman. We met at Beyond Juice for drinks. I don't believe in planning long dates for an initial meeting just in case things don't work. That way, it is easy to end things quickly.

We met at 6:30 pm. We were both on time. She was actually there before me. I dressed in jeans and a button-down short sleeve shirt. She wore a green and white floral dress. We ordered drinks and sat side by side in the empty restaurant. I will give her the name TopGun for the blog for reasons that will be apparent to some. TopGun is 47 and a nurse. She has curly red hair and blue eyes. TopGun has three children, twin girls, 21, and a 19-year-old boy. One of the twins and the boy still lives at home.

Our conversation came easily. TopGun enjoyed my stores. At one point early on on the date, she showed me a deck of Uno cards she had brought. Just in case things, the conversation was slow. I indicated we wouldn't need those. I have no problem talking.

TopGun and I seemed to be getting along, so I suggested we take a walk around town after a while. It rained earlier, but the night was clear and warm. We walked and continued talking for over an hour. We have plans to see each other again this Friday for dinner.

Election

Thursday evening, I dug a folding chair out of my basement and walked over to a grassy area at the front of our condo complex. Twenty other chairs were already arranged in a crude circle when I arrived. I set up my chair in the circle and surveyed the group. It was not a large showing. The annual condo association meeting never garnishes a large group, but with the proxies collected, we would have a quorum.

There was a grill set up outside the circle, and the property management company had a folding table with cookies, potato and macaroni salad for the homeowners.I grabbed water and waited for the meeting to begin.

I have been having a lot of conversations with Lily, who is a very active member of the board. Earlier in the summer, I suggested she be proactive and solicit proxies. so that she would be able to sway the vote. We discussed the various issues first. The roofs need replacing. The roads need fixing, and the landscaping is getting out of control. 

When it came time to vote for board members, there were three existing board members on the ballot, Lilly and two other women. Two other board members were not up for reelection, although one has been on the board for years and doesn't even live in the complex. He rents his unit.

 Another homeowner (I am going to call him Hollywood) and I raised our hands to be considered for the board as write-in candidates. Lilly had enough proxies to sway so that both Hollywood and I were elected. The two women who lost did not seem very happy. I find it funny, considering they were not very active in the first place.

I am not considering this a win. Just another job that needs to get done. So now the headaches begin. I have a feeling there will be more posts to come concerning the activities within the community. 

 

Vacation

 I took some vacation days and had off the first week of July, nine days in total, and though I did not do much that was productive, I enjoyed the time away from work. My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer has been getting this plant to bloom. I think it is a Star Gazier Lilly. Last year it was blooming when I bought the plant, but could not get it to bloom again. Removing it from the pot and planting it in the ground seems to have helped.

Tonight is our annual condo homeowners association meeting. The board has been mismanaging our association for years. Because of this two builds are in desperate need of roofs and we do not have the funds. I think I will need to nominate myself for the board to help get things in line.

The Scene Of The Crime

Four Years Ago

On a partly cloudy day, Billie and I drove to Sterling, Michigan, to go kayaking on the Rifle River with our friends Tink and Tech. Little did we know it would be our last trip together.

"She is cheating on me," I tell Tink and Tech as Billie headed to the bathroom.  The night before, I discovered incriminating text messages on her phone. All morning a growing pit of anger and despair was forming within my stomach. Unsure of what to do, I elected to go on the kayaking trip anyway. We booked the long route, which can take six hours or longer. Midway through the trip, the river became congested with intertwined inner tubes carrying inebriated campers, resembling oversized floating lily pads. Billie and I got separated from Tink and Tech. We navigated through the chaos without slowing and reached the end an hour ahead of Tink and Tech.

Last Weekend

I returned to the Rifle River at the invitation of Tink and Tech. We were joined by two other couples for a kayaking excursion. I had been jokingly referring to returning to "the scene of the crime" when friends and coworkers asked about my plans for the holiday. However, revisiting the exact location didn't evoke many memories. Once again, at the halfway point, where the river became congested with tubers, I lost sight of the rest of the group and finished over an hour before they did.

I won't be going back. I cannot stand the crowds of drunken partiers. It is not my idea of fun. That is Tech and Tink's. Although they are getting too old for that, in my opinion. Still, the Rifle River leaves me sour.

It is the fourth of July. I declined Sam's invitation to go to the annual party friends put on. I am not pleasant company lately, and I cannot shake it. Back in March, the Psychic said 2023 was going to be a dry year in the dating market. She indicated I am going to start wondering if there is something wrong with me, but not to get caught up in that negative energy. Even with that warning, I feel like that is exactly what is happening.

Him

While digging through the achieves for the last post, I came across this post:

Originally Posted May 7, 2007
Him

 “Welcome to the real world,” she said to me condescendingly... No Such Thing, John Mayer

Three and a half years ago:

“If I hadn’t married you, I would have married him,” my ex says, trying to justify her actions. We sit on the gray-tiled step in front of our fireplace. It is fall, but a bright Indian summer sun shines through the window. The space between us is thick with emotion.

‘You are an idiot,’ I’m thinking, but I don’t vocalize the words.

The “him” she is speaking of is an old boyfriend. She hasn’t seen him in 17 years, but she’s never forgotten him. On the contrary, she’s built him up in her mind over the years. When her dad died and left her a hefty inheritance, “he” was looked up on Classmates.com. 45 days after her father’s death, she is filing for divorce, engaged in a long-distance relationship with “him,” and trying to justify it to me.

The Present

Alexis, Sam, and I meet for a late supper at Fridays. Alexis is going on about the attributes of her “him.”

“I know, I’ve seen the statue,” I chide, having heard it all before. “He’s Adonis, with good parenting skills.”

He is also a high school boyfriend. Her “him” is married now, but she has been talking to him lately. The spark between them is still there.

“You don’t understand. He has always been the one,” Alexis says.

My Ex’s words come to mind. “Oh, I understand, but you got to move on.” I try to convince her.

“I am!” She smiles, and I can see it’s not entirely true. She will never stop idolizing him.

I won’t let her have her moment, and it frustrates her. She grows quiet, and her thoughts turn elsewhere.

Sam comes to Alexis’ defense. “I understand how she feels. If B returned to my life, I would consider taking him back and dumping (her current boyfriend).”

B is Sam’s “him,” and I know what she says is true.

I really don’t understand harboring these feelings. They are unrealistic. I want to say they sabotage future relationships, but it is my turn to grow silent.

I’ve never been a “him,” at least not that I know. I’ve been in love maybe three or four times, but there is no “her” in my past. You love; you get hurt; you move on. There is no looking back. There is no going back.

How do you compete with a “him” from the past? He’s not there to come home late. He’s not there to forget the milk on the way home. He’s not there to blame when their life is not what they expected. The fact that “he” is not there and you are-- seems to be forgotten.

I just found out there’s no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above-- No Such Thing, John Mayer

*     *     *

TheEx and her "him" lasted about a year or so after the divorce. Alexis had a brief affair with her "him . Neither enjoyed the fantasy for very long. Not surprising. 

It's Me

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser
Midnights become my afternoons
When my depression works the graveyard shift
All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

Friday, Sam and I went to Green Lantern for dinner. I ordered a small gluten-free pizza, and Sam ordered a salad. Our conversation was stilted. We are both people that articulate the things we are thinking, and neither of us has anything new going on in our lives to discuss. 

Sam ordered a second tall Blue Moon beer with her meal. It takes her a long time to finish off these drinks, and she is usually a bit buzzed after. I found myself staring at the glass, wanting her to finish. Sam will not leave before her beer is done. She likes her Blue Moons.

I wanted to leave. I am less inclined to enjoy these nights out. They are triggering in a complex way that I find hard to explain even here. I would never try explaining it to her for fear of insulting her. We have been friends for more than fifteen years. Much has happened during that time. We have both changed. Like an old married couple, you wake up one day and realize you don't recognize the person sleeping next to you.

Stoically, I am sliding into this new phase of my life, yet still hoping for one last fling to extend the fun. Growing bitter about my choices, even though I know I would not change them if given a chance. 

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees...Anti Hero, Taylor Swift

Originally Posted March 7, 2009

Six Months Ago

"You've wasted your summer," she said, not for the first time, as if summer marked some invisible boundary of importance more significant than the other seasons.

Sam drew out another cigarette and lit it. She was not ready to leave. The shadows were deepening around us. It was a bright early evening when we entered the restaurant now, no light showed through between the window blinds. Another sign that summer was coming to an end.

I tried to form a reply. I sputtered partial phrases, none of which made much sense. "Don't get defensive, " she continued. "You need to find someone more mature. Someone that can offer you something mentally."

It sounded horribly boring to me. Like watching paint dry-- acrylic paint, not oil-based. No fumes to enjoy. I don't really want someone to challenge me intellectually. I don't really put much thought into things, except people, maybe, and you really don't need a Ph.D. to observe people.

* * *

Last weekend:

Tinkerbell sits at the table in front of my computer, feeding her addiction to mySpace. I am sitting on the counter in the kitchen facing her. "See, he is avoiding the issue, and so are you," I say.

"How can he and you not fight? You are the most annoying person I know! He avoids fighting because he is afraid of losing you. Which means he is probably suppressing issues; eventually, that will make him unhappy."

She listens, and we talk more. The conversation is mentally stimulating. It is a side no one else sees.

Snapshot Of June

 In homage to Sarah H. at Death Wears Diamond Jewelry, who is no longer blogging but is missed.

Listening…I have been jumping around on YouTube. Nothing to recommend.

Reading…  The Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer. I have read this before, but sometimes you need to relearn its lessons.

Watching…I finished Legends of Tomorrow. The last season had some good episodes. I have switched to The Flash, sticking with the Arrowverse.

Creating …  A Lego Star Wars display for the Brickworld show. The show has been moved from September to early November. I don't look forward to moving everything to the show in cold weather, but the venue is closer to my condo. So that is good.

Hoping… Don't have any hopes out there.

Buying… This month I bought a new office chair for the loft area. The old one was hurting my back, and I didn't want to be switching chairs with the one in the Lego room every time I wanted to sit.

Loving... Nothing is really exciting me right now.

Planning… On biking this weekend and going on a kayaking trip in July.

Missing… The early 2000s, seem like everything was more fun then.

Feeling… Like the best times are all behind me, and not looking forward to the challenges that come with aging.

Steady As She Goes

Today I drove to work only to find that I forgot my computer. I decided it wasn't worth returning to the office once I returned home. I will be working the rest of the day from home. It is a slow week. My colleagues in China are on holiday, and several people in the office are on vacation. It's a good judgment call.

It has been lightly raining all morning, but I like the overcast day. We haven't had many this year, so it is a welcome change. I have been debating whether to go out tonight. I think I will just go to BJs warehouse to pick up a new office chair, get a few food items, and call it a day. Driving an hour across town to go to a strip club doesn't sound appealing.

Sam has been working late, so I don't think she will want to get something to eat. Strike that. Sam just called as I was writing this. She is interested in getting dinner. I guess I will be going to dinner and then getting my new office chair.

Otherwise, nothing new has been going on here. I have had no luck in finding a replacement for Ava. It feels like I need to start searching on other sites. There are not many real women on SA anymore. 

It seems the more I hang out on my own, the more I want to be alone. Sometimes I get envious of those around me who have had better luck on dating apps, but then I realize what they consider luck would not be the same as mine. 

When you have completed what you thought you had to do
And your blood's depleted to the point of stable glue
Then you'll get along
And then you'll get along
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)... Steady As She Goes, The Raconteurs

Constant

The only difference
That I see
Is you are exactly the same 
as you used to be...The Difference, The Wallflowers

I had a coworker stop by the condo the other day. I gave him a tour of the place. He indicated so much space would make him feel lonely. While it may be more than I need, I've never felt lonely in it. My condo has been the one unchanging constant since my divorce. People have come and gone, but the condo and I remain. 

Invisible People

 I met a new woman last night for a coffee date. Life experience has allowed me to pick up on a lot from a simple thirty-minute conversation. My friend Alexis used to work with an ex-stripper turned hairdresser past her prime and looking aged due to tanning, alcohol, and drug use. This woman last night reminded me of her. 

What stuck out to me was her teeth. They were white except between them, where there was heavy evidence of stains from cigarettes and plaque. She has not been to the dentist in years. She dressed nicely in athlete gear. Black stretch pants and a lightweight pink jacket. She said she had one arrangement before, which lasted three years. It sounded more like a situationship, but he kept making promises without following through, and he was an alcoholic. Something they probably had in common. 

She claimed to be thirty-two on the site. I would guess she was closer to forty. Hard years, not from working hard. She was probably very pretty when she was younger. She is still attractive but looking for her golden parachute. I didn't fit the bill. I don't fit the bill. Women in their thirties seem to be the most likely to be looking for the win. 

There is a recently divorced guy about my age at work. The divorce ruined him financially. He has been having some luck on dating sites. He is an average-looking guy. He has been dating a woman for about a month now. When they first meet she indicated he was the twenty-third guy this year she either struck up a conversation with or went on at least one date with. I couldn't imagine going through an equal amount of women in the same about of time. The time alone would be negative. It just goes to show how unbalanced dating sites our.

You figure, though, there are the same amount of women in the US as men. Actually, I think there are slightly more women. Why aren't the numbers more balanced? We are invisible to each other, I suppose. A world of invisible people. 

Legends

 I bought a stand for my phone and downloaded a stop-motion program. I want to make stop-motion Lego videos. I still need to start. I am playing Borderlands 2 again, which has taken up my time. 

I have been trying to get through Legends of Tomorrow, but it is an example of how to ruin a TV show. One of the reasons I decided to watch the show was the cross-overs with the other shows in the Arrowverse. There wasn't one in season seven, which I basically slept through. Season eight is about the writers trying to get back on track. They brought back characters, but I fear it might be too little too late. 

It started as a show about a group of misfit superheroes and villains banning together to save time. By season seven, they took away all the superheroes, filled the ship with women with no powers, and took time travel out of the equation. We are left with a lesbian relationship with no chemistry, the same woman from two different timelines in love with two different guys, a stoner who doesn't seem to serve any purpose, and the last solid male character giving birth to aliens (no wonder he didn't sign up for season 8).

Take away the heroes and villains, and you are left with a show pushing agendas and not telling stories, but isn't that what all the shows have turned into until there is no one left to watch them.

Court

 The district court in Chesterfield is empty on a Wednesday afternoon. It sees few compelling cases. I went there today for my ticket. I got there early, checked in, and was told to sit on one of the benches in the hall. My officer will find me. 

As I waited in the hall, a dozen people checked in and filled the other benches. A young couple sat on a bench near me. They barely looked old enough to drive, let alone to be in traffic court. I overheard the girl say, some of these people seem sketchy. I glanced around the hallway. Everyone was dressed business casual. Everyone except for me. I was dressed in jeans and a pale turquoise American Fighter teeshirt, sleeve of tattoos clearly visible.

I wasn't expecting to go before the judge; I'd probably have worn the same thing even if I was. My police officer came out from the back and called my name. He recalled our conversation when he gave me the ticket. He asked if I had brought my registration, asked me to sign off on the ticket, and everything was waved. The procedure took less than two minutes and occurred in the hallway.

I took an extra day off over the weekend and detoxed from work and the internet for four days. I am becoming more accepting of not working, especially after spending time away. Work provides an income and a schedule, something I allow to slide on weekends and holidays. I don't know how structured I will be without such a schedule. 

Decisions

 I don't consider many decisions to be life altering. Decisions often make subtle changes in our lives and play out over time. I remember being a young designer on an interview early in my career. The man said to me, "I have two positions I am considering you for. I haven't decided which would be a better fit." He placed me in a group that designed automotive seats. His decision defined the course of my career.

Twelve years ago, on the Friday before Memorial weekend, I walked into the Penthouse Club during the day shift. Something I never did before. I had an agreement with the restroom attendant. I would bring him unused parts from work (wheel center caps). He would sell them online, and we would split the profits. It was the day I first met Billie. An occurrence that still shapes me to this day.

Snapshot Of May

In homage to Sarah H. at Death Wears Diamond Jewelry, who is no longer blogging but is missed.

Listening… ChrisFix on Tube, this kid will motivate anyone into paying more attention to their car.

Reading…  The Untethered Soul by Micheal Singer. I have read this before, but sometimes you need to relearn its lessons.

Watching… I finished Arrow, and now I have started Legends Of Tomorrow, which crosses over with Arrow.

Creating …  A Lego Star Wars display for the Brickworld show. The show has been moved from September to early November. I don't look forward to moving everything to the show in cold weather, but the venue is closer to my condo. So that is good.

Hoping… Don't have any hopes out there.

Buying… This month I bought all that outdoor landscaping, flowers, borders, and mulch.

Loving... Nothing is really exciting me right now.

Planning… On biking this weekend and going on a kayaking trip in July.

Missing… I miss a lot of things lately, but not enough to dwell on any of them.

Feeling… The dynamics between men and women are changing very fast, and not for the better.