Bikes?

I spoke with Sam Friday night — the first time since last November, when she walked out on me. She texted first, testing the waters.

Sam: Hey you, hope you are doing good. I'm going to come get my bike at some point. Let me know when you're available.

Bathwater: Hey, I'll be around this weekend. Just let me know.

Later, she called, and we ended up talking for at least an hour — just catching up. She made tentative plans to pick up her bike on Saturday but never came by.

I think the bike was more of an excuse to reach out than anything else. Her life is still a complicated mix of family obligations and unforeseen drama.

It was nice that she reached out, opening a door for further communication. I’m still deciding how far I want to step back in.

Argumentative

On Thanksgiving, I made a turkey burger on whole-grain bread and a broccoli and macaroni casserole. I set the computer up on the coffee table and had a Zoom dinner with Gia. Gia ate eggs with ketchup. she didn't want to fight the crowds and go shopping.  It was fun. 

Gia and I have come a long way since we first met. The woman who wouldn't get in the same car as me the fourth time we went out is now coming up to stay with me next weekend, which was her idea. She has even started mentioning going to Utah with me next year. It all depends on how her dog does with the dogsitter this weekend. I've learned with Gia, that everything works out once she thinks it is her idea.

On Monday, I met Sam for dinner at Green Lantern. I had been avoiding going out with Sam, and I was feeling bad. Sam arrived first. Kay, my favorite waitress was our waitress. Sam seemed like she was trying to be cordial. Like the conversation was forced. We discussed Gia's upcoming visit. I told Sam after I picked up Gia from the airport I was thinking of taking her to Greektown Casino downtown.

Sam thought that was a bad idea. She said that the area was not safe. It has been about six years since I visited the Greektown Casino. I only go downtown occasionally. So I concede to her advice. However, Sam was in a mood. Despite saying, "I don't want to argue." She indeed wanted to argue. She was making a few snippy comments about Gia, which I let pass, but she got mad and said I have been argumentative lately. I wanted to say the same thing about her, but I didn't. It would have just escalated her displeasure.

When someone says, I don't want to argue then proceeds to argue, I am not sure I am the issue. This isn't the first time it has happened recently. Thus, the reason I have been avoiding her. At the end of the meal, Sam had the check. I handed her my portion and she figured out the rest. Sam is always flush with cash of various denominations and she is a bigger tipper than I.  When Kay came to pick up the bill I said we were all set. Sam must not have heard me. I actually think her hearing is going. 

When I asked Sam if she was ready to go, she said she was waiting for change. "I didn't realize you needed change. I told Kay we were all set."  That was the nail in the coffin. I offered to call Kay back. I offered Sam some money to make up what she wanted back, but Sam was over it. She ended up walking out with me trailing behind.

Coping

 I went out with Ava several times but never picked up where we left off. Despite what Ava says, I don't think she has broken up with her boyfriend. She has it in her mind, but he doesn't think so. This is all from my casual observations. At one point, Ava suggested she would need more to come over but could only stay for an hour. I told her that wouldn't work for me. Something tells me I haven't seen the last of her though.

What have I been doing?  Like half the men in their 20s, I have been glued to my tablet playing an online game. The game is called LastWar and it is raking in billions. You can download it from your phone, but I don't suggest it :). I spend nights on Discord chatting with members of my alliance and trying to grow my squads.

I have been secluding myself away from others by choice. I went out last month with Jay, Sam, and Alexis to celebrate our collective birthdays, but for the most part, I haven't even been spending time with them. It just doesn't bring me joy. The only ones I see regularly are Max and the twins.

Gia and I text regularly. She is happy in Tampa again, and far enough away from the coast to have weathered both Hurricanes unscathed. About once a month we get on Zoom so I can see her gorgeous smile. We are planning a Zoom call on Thanksgiving.

I received a drunk call from Tinkerbell late Friday night. She was walking home from the bar. I think her boyfriend Tech doesn't approve of our relationship. I don't blame him. While I consider it more of a father/daughter type bond at this point, I can see how it can be intimidating. Tink wanted me to know that T-Rex is doing good. He is away, at Central Michigan University now. 

I think Tinkerbell is sacrificing her happiness for the T-Rex's future. "Don't ever think, I don't love," Tinkerbell stated more than once. "You are my Luke." This is a reference to a character on the show Gilmore Girls. "Lorelai ended up marrying Luke." I assured her that wouldn't happen with us.

Tink's unhappiness was palatable. More from what she wouldn't talk about than what she did. I do miss her. I miss the days when we would talk for hours on the phone. This conversation just leaves me perplexed.

Are we all just trapped in unhappy lives? Some of us just coping better than others.

Six Decades

 My birthday was last Wednesday. I started defining my age as six decades old. It sounds cleaner than the years. I took three days off for my birthday. On the first day, I cleaned out many scrap auto parts and took them to the scrap yard. On the second day, I rode my bike on the Orchard Trail. 

The twins moved into a new condo on my birthday. Coincidence? Maybe, but given that TheEx filed for divorce on my birthday, I doubt it. Their condo is lovely—nicer than mine. Hopefully, they will take care of it. It is one of those condo complexes entirely of ranch units that old people like. The units are spaced nicely, and the complex is suitable for walking. I have been encouraging them to do that.

On Saturday, Ava and I went to an art fair in Ferndale. I really like this art fair. It attracts artists I can relate to. I bought two prints from Cheryl Baker. Her stuff is terrific. 

This One 

This One

I was unsure where to put them, but I couldn't resist. I wanted the whole series.

Ava enjoyed the show. Like me, she is an amateur artist. We still haven't picked up where we left off. Ava is putting it off. However, we are hanging out, and she wants to continue. I ended up going back to the art show with Sam on Sunday. I didn't want to tell her Ava, and I went Saturday. Sam likes to look at the jewelry. Ava was more enjoyable. She enjoys the artwork, and everything is new for her. 

Flappers and Ava Returns

Sam and I went to a wedding on Saturday. The bride is a mutual friend. The bride and groom are both in their fifties. The groom is about a 4 in looks. The bride is a 6 or 7, but the groom is loaded. They rented out the Emerald Theatre in Mt. Clemens for the wedding. It was a 1920s-inspired wedding, and the Emerald is a restored theatre that opened in 1921. The whole affair must have cost big bucks.

I took some pictures, but my phone broke, and I lost them all that night. Which brings me to Sunday. The screen on my Galaxy Flip broke, locking me out of the phone. I lost all my apps, some of my contacts, and all the pictures I took that day. I spent Sunday getting a new phone and reloading the apps.

I loaded Snapchat back. I wasn't going to. I never used the app, but I did, and I ran through the selections quickly. About an hour later, I received a snap from Ava. I haven't seen or heard from Ava since her boyfriend caught her, and she ghosted me back last February. We met up in Rochester that evening for a walk and dinner.

Ava is the same. She is still a covert narcissist who can't hold down a job or a relationship, but she is fun and wants to pick up where we left off, including trips. I am differently interested. Ava was good in bed and had fun on the road. 

Weather And

 The weather was peculiar this weekend. Saturday morning, it rained, and it has been raining often. As Saturday progressed, it turned hot and muggy. I did my shopping early and stayed inside with the air conditioning. Sunday was the complete opposite. Sunday was overcast and unseasonably cool. I kept the windows shut Sunday because it was in the mid-to-low-sixties.

Sam and I went to an art fair along the river in St. Clair on Sunday despite the weather. Fifty to sixty vendors had tents set up in the park along the boardwalk.  Sam and I like this art show. It is in a nice location, with live music and several outdoor restaurants. 

Neither of us bought anything. I often like looking at the artist's goods and thinking I could do the same thing. It is one of the many alternative career paths I could have if I set my mind to it. 

It took a few art fair photos and sent them to Gia this morning. She would have liked it. Gia and I continue to send texts to each other almost every day. Sometimes, it is just a simple good morning. Other times, we will exchange pictures, articles, or GIFs.  Outside of my twins, Gia is the person I consistently communicate with most. It is nice, and yet I find it odd. I don't know when or if I will ever see her again. 

I like Gia; I just don't know what to do with her. Sometimes, I feel she thinks the same way. I will try again to get her to go to Utah with me. She will probably decline, yet it doesn't hurt to ask. My latest pitch is having her meet me in Salt Lake City. She can fly there, and I will drive the Gladiator. From there, we can spend the week in Utah. She would abhor spending so much time with someone, but I understand her need for space. Personally, I think it would be an amazing time.

The World Is Going To Hell

Sam texted me Friday asking if I wanted to get dinner. I agreed, and we planned to meet at 6:00. I hung around the office after work instead of heading home and waiting for 6:00. I arrived at the Green Lantern before Sam and got us a table. I opened the door to enter. A family with a young daughter was living. The daughter had her face glued to a giant iPad and had to be guided out the door.

I was seated by the windows. I ordered us drinks and waited for Sam to arrive. I was playing a game on my fun when I received a text from Gia. We were bantering back and forth when Sam arrived. Sam asked who I was texting. When I told her it was Gia, Sam's face turned to one of disapproval. Sam thinks I should not waste time on Gia. While I agree there is no future in it. I still like Gia; she doesn't distract me from anyone else. Her return is something to look forward to.

I finished up my text conversation with Gia.

Bathwater: Have a good night + (a gif with a digital cat shaking its tail).

Gai: Hahaha, you too. Miss you. (heart)

That alone makes my day. Who doesn't like positive attention from someone you are into. 

Sam and I ordered individual pizzas. Behind Sam, two women sit at a table. One had a daughter around ten with them. The daughter had an iPad. The daughter was standing in the space between the tables. She drew my attention as she placed the iPad on the window sill and started making TikTok videos, dancing right behind Sam. 

I was appalled. Not only was it inappropriate for the girl to infringe on our meal that way, but a child that age should not be on TikTok. This went on for several minutes. The mother and other woman were oblivious to her.

I felt like saying something loud enough for them to hear. Thankfully, they left soon after, and we enjoyed our meal. The world is going to hell. People are raising screen-addicted, attention-seeking drones who will not be able to function in the world. 

Dinner

 Our weather has been rainy and mild. No complaints from me. Sam and I went to dinner Saturday night. We went to Green Lantern because we lacked any other choice. The place was not busy. Most people were celebrating the holiday season with family.

Sam was in an argumentative mood. No matter what topic I introduced, she had something negative to say. Sam would consider me no fun when we hang out, but I feed off the other's energy. We had a fantastic time laughing and joking when Gia and I were together. Despite Gia's walls, she is a joy to be around. Sam is too bitter and tired from working.

Sam wanted to shop at the outdoor mall after dinner, but I declined. I could not take more of her negativity. I am going to dinner with Sam and her sisters tonight. I hope she is in a better mood. Luckily, the place is close to my condo, and I will drive separately. 

Speaking of Gia, she and I are still texting back and forth regularly. Just playful interactions and gifs. I intend to keep the conversation going for as long as she allows. Absence may make the heart grow fonder.

All Right Now

I spent Saturday cleaning the house and the Jeep. It was a quiet weekend, but we had lovely weather. Sam and I got dinner both nights if I remember correctly. Ella and I have been exchanging texts every day. She seems almost too good to be true. Monday night, she asked if she could get an advance. That was the first red flag. It doesn't look good when someone seems too good to be true and then asks for an advance. 

I told Ella I understand money can be tight at first, and if she wanted to get together sooner, I would be up for that. She said she was free tonight (Tuesday), and I told her that would work for me. So, things are still good with her. We are getting together tonight, and we still have an overnight planned for Friday. Saturday, she is up for visiting the Orchard trail or an apple orchard. I still have high hopes for Ella becoming a long-term arrangement.

In other news, I received a text from Al Sunday night.

Al: I'm back (crying smiley face).

Bathwater: Where have you been?

Al: Lol, I tried to work things out with my baby-daddy, but they didn't.

Bathwater: I am sorry, but at least you tried.

Bathwater: I just think you missed me (wink).

Al: You're probably right (angel smiley face).

I am not surprised things didn't work out with her baby-daddy. I wasn't expecting it to be so soon, though. So now, if Ella doesn't work out, I still have Al in my back pocket. It is good to have options for a change. I will probably get together with Al next week just to get her in bed again and let her know where I stand. 

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, well, you might find
You get what you need
Ah, yeah... You Can't Get What You Want, The Rolling Stones

Unpacking The Weekend

 Surprisingly, it was a busy weekend. Sam and I hung out together every day. We had great weather, the last we will see for a while. The only disappointment was Al standing me up Friday night, but I will get into that in another post.

Sam and I got a drink and food at the Engine House on Friday after work. We made plans to meet up and go to the Art, Beats, and Eats in Royal Oak the next day.

We took the Jeep down to Royal Oak in the late afternoon on Saturday. We walked around the arts and crafts vendors for a while, then settled outside Fifth Avenue for a drink. At six, we went to the concert area. There was a Tom Petty cover band called The Wildflowers going on stage. They were really good. They played all his hits. I have been listening to Tom Petty music ever since.

Sunday, Sam and I were heading toward the Peach Festival in Romeo. We were passing our friend Jay's house. "Let's pop in," I suggested.

Sam wanted to call first, but I was already entering the subdivision. "It will be fine. They don't do anything anyway."

We pulled up, and I knocked on the door. Jay answered. We talked in their kitchen for about forty-five minutes with Jay and Di. It was good. Sam doesn't get to see them often. Jay and Di had plans for later, so we didn't overstay. Sam and I head for another craft show outside of the Peach Festival.

On Monday, Max brought his new girlfriend over to the condo. She is cute and very personable. Max made a good choice with her. She comes from a stable family, and she is a teacher. I am happy for him. She is a 100% improvement over his last girlfriend. We talked for a few minutes, and then I left them alone and met Sam for a drink. They left before I returned.

Walking Tall

I ended up walking close to twelve miles Sunday. It wasn't planned. I started the day doing four miles on the treadmill. Later in the day, Sam asked me if I would like to go for a walk in the park. I didn't think Sam and I would be walking for long. She doesn't usually. We ended up parking outside the park and walked in. It was a long walk. I didn't mind it, although I would have worn better shoes if I know we were going to walk that far.

Today (Tuesday), I woke to find I was without water pressure. At first, I was worried there was something wrong with the new hot water tank. There wasn't. Apparently, there are two water main breaks in the area that are screwing things up.

Max went on his date Sunday. I haven't got the full details yet, but he sent me this response when I asked.

Bathwater: How did your date go?

Max: I still got it (meaning his charm). She asked me for a second date before I could ask.

The Scene Of The Crime

Four Years Ago

On a partly cloudy day, Billie and I drove to Sterling, Michigan, to go kayaking on the Rifle River with our friends Tink and Tech. Little did we know it would be our last trip together.

"She is cheating on me," I tell Tink and Tech as Billie headed to the bathroom.  The night before, I discovered incriminating text messages on her phone. All morning a growing pit of anger and despair was forming within my stomach. Unsure of what to do, I elected to go on the kayaking trip anyway. We booked the long route, which can take six hours or longer. Midway through the trip, the river became congested with intertwined inner tubes carrying inebriated campers, resembling oversized floating lily pads. Billie and I got separated from Tink and Tech. We navigated through the chaos without slowing and reached the end an hour ahead of Tink and Tech.

Last Weekend

I returned to the Rifle River at the invitation of Tink and Tech. We were joined by two other couples for a kayaking excursion. I had been jokingly referring to returning to "the scene of the crime" when friends and coworkers asked about my plans for the holiday. However, revisiting the exact location didn't evoke many memories. Once again, at the halfway point, where the river became congested with tubers, I lost sight of the rest of the group and finished over an hour before they did.

I won't be going back. I cannot stand the crowds of drunken partiers. It is not my idea of fun. That is Tech and Tink's. Although they are getting too old for that, in my opinion. Still, the Rifle River leaves me sour.

It is the fourth of July. I declined Sam's invitation to go to the annual party friends put on. I am not pleasant company lately, and I cannot shake it. Back in March, the Psychic said 2023 was going to be a dry year in the dating market. She indicated I am going to start wondering if there is something wrong with me, but not to get caught up in that negative energy. Even with that warning, I feel like that is exactly what is happening.

It's Me

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser
Midnights become my afternoons
When my depression works the graveyard shift
All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

Friday, Sam and I went to Green Lantern for dinner. I ordered a small gluten-free pizza, and Sam ordered a salad. Our conversation was stilted. We are both people that articulate the things we are thinking, and neither of us has anything new going on in our lives to discuss. 

Sam ordered a second tall Blue Moon beer with her meal. It takes her a long time to finish off these drinks, and she is usually a bit buzzed after. I found myself staring at the glass, wanting her to finish. Sam will not leave before her beer is done. She likes her Blue Moons.

I wanted to leave. I am less inclined to enjoy these nights out. They are triggering in a complex way that I find hard to explain even here. I would never try explaining it to her for fear of insulting her. We have been friends for more than fifteen years. Much has happened during that time. We have both changed. Like an old married couple, you wake up one day and realize you don't recognize the person sleeping next to you.

Stoically, I am sliding into this new phase of my life, yet still hoping for one last fling to extend the fun. Growing bitter about my choices, even though I know I would not change them if given a chance. 

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me

It's me, hi, everybody agrees, everybody agrees...Anti Hero, Taylor Swift

Originally Posted March 7, 2009

Six Months Ago

"You've wasted your summer," she said, not for the first time, as if summer marked some invisible boundary of importance more significant than the other seasons.

Sam drew out another cigarette and lit it. She was not ready to leave. The shadows were deepening around us. It was a bright early evening when we entered the restaurant now, no light showed through between the window blinds. Another sign that summer was coming to an end.

I tried to form a reply. I sputtered partial phrases, none of which made much sense. "Don't get defensive, " she continued. "You need to find someone more mature. Someone that can offer you something mentally."

It sounded horribly boring to me. Like watching paint dry-- acrylic paint, not oil-based. No fumes to enjoy. I don't really want someone to challenge me intellectually. I don't really put much thought into things, except people, maybe, and you really don't need a Ph.D. to observe people.

* * *

Last weekend:

Tinkerbell sits at the table in front of my computer, feeding her addiction to mySpace. I am sitting on the counter in the kitchen facing her. "See, he is avoiding the issue, and so are you," I say.

"How can he and you not fight? You are the most annoying person I know! He avoids fighting because he is afraid of losing you. Which means he is probably suppressing issues; eventually, that will make him unhappy."

She listens, and we talk more. The conversation is mentally stimulating. It is a side no one else sees.

Steady As She Goes

Today I drove to work only to find that I forgot my computer. I decided it wasn't worth returning to the office once I returned home. I will be working the rest of the day from home. It is a slow week. My colleagues in China are on holiday, and several people in the office are on vacation. It's a good judgment call.

It has been lightly raining all morning, but I like the overcast day. We haven't had many this year, so it is a welcome change. I have been debating whether to go out tonight. I think I will just go to BJs warehouse to pick up a new office chair, get a few food items, and call it a day. Driving an hour across town to go to a strip club doesn't sound appealing.

Sam has been working late, so I don't think she will want to get something to eat. Strike that. Sam just called as I was writing this. She is interested in getting dinner. I guess I will be going to dinner and then getting my new office chair.

Otherwise, nothing new has been going on here. I have had no luck in finding a replacement for Ava. It feels like I need to start searching on other sites. There are not many real women on SA anymore. 

It seems the more I hang out on my own, the more I want to be alone. Sometimes I get envious of those around me who have had better luck on dating apps, but then I realize what they consider luck would not be the same as mine. 

When you have completed what you thought you had to do
And your blood's depleted to the point of stable glue
Then you'll get along
And then you'll get along
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)... Steady As She Goes, The Raconteurs

Another Weekend

 We have several guys in the office named Bathwater (insert real name here). When discussing his day with his girlfriend, one of my coworkers said they refer to me as Jaded Bathwater to differentiate me from the others. When I told Sam this over the weekend, she said, "Did you tell them we call you Smart Bathwater." It is important to remember who you are, is not how others perceive you.

This weekend I did more work on the front of the condo. I added flowers to the porch and mulch to the three areas I cleaned up the prior week. I still need to trim the bushes in front of my windows. I will do that this weekend. 

I added a layer of spackling to the ceiling in the laundry room. I need to do some sanding and add a second coat this weekend. 

Sam and I went for a walk around my neighborhood on Sunday, and I helped a neighbor pull three bushes. I even made time to work on my Lego project while I finished the last season of Arrow. 

The Weekend

I am wrapping my weekend events up in a single post lately. This will be no different. 

When I got home Friday night, the crew was still staining my deck. I paid someone to do it. Although I had the time, I wanted to do something other than the project. I did ask them to leave me some stain for a wooden table I had on the deck.

Years ago, Billie brought home a semi-circle wooden table that ended up on the deck. Over the years, it had faded, but the wood was still in good shape. I woke up early on Saturday, took the table to the garage, sanded it down, and stained it to match. My deck looks very fresh now with my new chairs and matching stained table. 

Skipping back to Friday night, Alexis and Sam invited me over. They had two other female friends over for drinks. I declined. The thought of drinking with a group of women did not appeal to me. None of them are cute and available. 

Sunday, I decided to clean up the landscaping in front of the condo. The association should do more of this, but we are underfunded; therefore, it is primarily up to the homeowners. I added a few edging strips around my porch area and removed the weeds. Then I weeded a six-foot circle around the tree in the median right in front of my unit. 

I also prepped the ceiling in the laundry room for repair but did not get to spackling. Max came over, and we waxed his car instead. After, he showed me a few of his videos on Youtube. Max has a small number of followers on Youtube. He could be bigger if he put any effort into it. He doesn't seem to want that. His are all gaming videos. He is the worst type of player. He likes to go in and create chaos. 

The Weekend

 The weekend started out strong for me. Friday night, I cleaned the Gladiator for two hours instead of just making dinner and sitting in front of the TV. Saturday, I woke up and cleaned the truck inside and out for another four hours. It doesn't look showroom-new, but pretty close.

Saturday night, I met up with Sam for dinner. We seem to have a lack of things to converse about lately. Mostly because I have no one new in my life stirring things up. Tink texted me over the weekend, inviting me to kayak on the Rifle River on July 1st. I turned her down last year when she suggested this. The last time I was kayaking on the Rifle River was the day a confronted Billie about her affair. The place doesn't hold good memories for me, but I like hanging out with Tink and Tech, so I booked my trip.

Sunday morning, I took the twins out to breakfast. It was raining, so after I dropped them back off at their mother's house, I had to wipe down the truck again. I was determined to get a least one more day out of all my cleaning. After I sat in front of the TV most f the day. I wasn't motivated to work on my project. Instead, I spent too much time eating and sleeping. 

I need to get back into shape for summer, though. All that eating is starting to show. I don't like it, and I can feel the difference when I am eating unhealthy. For some reason. I am craving food more than usual. I am not sure whether it is my mood or just the season.

The Weekend

 We had our first warm and sunny Saturday. Sam and I took our bikes up to the Orchard Trail for our first ride of the season. We drove up North Avenue to Armada. It is a two-lane road with a fifty-mile-an-hour speed limit. It passes through rural areas with plenty of open fields. Sam counted 14 dead deer along the nine-mile stretch. I commented that I would not want to drive the road at night. 

Sunday, early spring weather returned. Sam wanted to go shopping at Twelve Oaks Mall. It is an hour's drive on a good day, but construction on the freeway in the area had it shut down, adding another ten minutes to the drive. I didn't end up buying anything. The one shirt that interested me was a peach-colored Hugo Boss short-sleeved button-down, but they wanted $138 for it, and I decided it was too expensive. 

This week is supposed to be cold and rainy. We had snow showers overnight. I took a life expectancy calculator test today. It says I will live to be 90. Thirty-two more years. I guess there is no need to retire early as of now. Not that I have thought that way. I plan on working till I am 70. There is no reason not too. 

Musical Chairs

 Wednesday, Sam sent me a text. She was out shopping and saw patio chairs at a better price than we saw at another store. She asked if I wanted a pair. I meant to replace the chairs on my balcony. My chairs are rusted and old, but I have been dragging my heels because I don't use my balcony often. Sam bought me a couple of chairs and loaded them into her vehicle. I stopped by her work and picked them up yesterday. She is the best non-girlfriend a guy could have. So, I did make a purchase in March. The chairs were $40 a piece.

My display is coming along. Last night I built a tree. Earlier in the week, I connected the main fortress to the hexagonal tower from my previous display and roofed the stable.

Pendulum Swing

I just finished reading The Body Under The Ice. I planned on working the last one-hundred pages of the edits over both days this weekend, but I couldn't put it down. The last fifty suck you in. It is like reading an episode of Murder She Wrote. I hope to be half as prolific as Dave one day.

Friday night Sam and I went to dinner. We eat pizza and Green Lantern. One of our usual haunts. I've been eating out too much. It is beginning to show round my waistline. Sam told me how Alexis is obsessing over getting a life insurance policy. She wants to leave something for her nineteen-year-old son. She has a set sum in mind, two-hundred thousand dollars, but only wants to pay a little for it. 

The stumbling block Alexis has run into is her medical history. She goes to a shading doctor, who prescribes whatever she wants-- Aderall, muscle relaxes, etc. I don't know why she thinks she will die prematurely. If she does, it will be from abusing these drugs and alcohol. Nor do I understand why she feels the need to provide her son with that kind of money. At nineteen, he is failing high school, doesn't drive or work, and has little ambition to do anything be play video games-- and yes, he is already obese. 

I have my opinions concerning what her son actually needs. Sam would agree, but Alexis wouldn't want to hear them, so we keep them to ourselves. Although I will say, he doesn't have a healthy home environment that values hard work. He is just another example of this lost boy generation. Good times make for weak men. The pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction. I hope to see it correct to a neutral position before I die.