Smoke

 Like other areas of the country, the Canadian wildfires have gifted us with a thick haze of smoke. It's like a grey fog. The smell is everywhere. Not the pleasant smell of a fire in the fireplace. It's the smell of old chemicals that only vaguely reminds you of smoke. The smell seeps into the office, your clothes, your home.

The temperatures are dipping into the 60s at night, but you can't open the windows. My lungs are already rebelling from my vaping (I know, I have to quit). This just adds to it.

Otherwise, Max got him an apprentice job on a framing crew. If you ask me, that is the lowest of the skilled trades. He should have waited for a plumbing, electrical, or HVAC opening to come up.

Nothing says don't work outside like 100-degree weather and toxic smoke.

March Without the Madness

 I'm still busy, but it is in a good way. I'm on my last round of edits for my memoir. It is about time to seek direction from someone more talented and knowledgeable. I haven't decided on whom. This memoir is not a money-making project, but it never has been for me.

I often say to myself, I'd rather create a well-crafted book than a poorly written bestseller. I don't care if people hate the narrator as long as they like the way it is written. That is my focus, and I have learned a lot since my first attempt. 

I continue to check how far I have drifted from the original raw blog post. I haven't rewritten history. Which is important to me. It is easy for someone writing a memoir twenty years after the event to unwittingly bend the story. I haven't. The main characters didn't question my writing back then. They can't question them now, though I don't think anyone cares anymore.

Max is painting War Hammer figure on a production level. He is having some issues with keeping his studio dust-free and cat-free. He even asked if he could use my basement as his studio at one point, but that hasn't happened yet. I wouldn't mind.

I haven't seen Max's girlfriend since they moved back to this side of town. I have two theories for that. Either she doesn't like me, or she is pregnant, and no one wants to say. Hopefully, neither is true. But I wouldn't be surprised by either.

This week's plan is to finish my edits, condo association meeting, start my taxes, and continue work on editing Ariel's book.

Currently we meet ever two weeks on Zoom. We used to meet in person, but she move about an hour north of me and I don't feel like making the trip in the winter. I've become very passionate about writing and craft. It's great to have someone to share it with.

2026 Updates

I spent most of the holidays alone. I saw the boys, but otherwise I kept to myself. I did a little writing, a little LEGO building, played some video games. Solitary things. I caught myself thinking: this is probably what my retirement will look like.

I don’t plan on retiring anytime soon. Six more years, at least. There’s no reason to rush it, not with the way things feel right now. I make decent money. And once I walk away from this job, I doubt I’ll ever find another that pays the same. That reality alone keeps me planted.

Max and his girlfriend are struggling. She was laid off from a good-paying job over the summer and hasn’t found anything steady since. Max has had his own run of jobs, none of them lasting. He doesn’t want work that’s hard. He wants easy work. Something that doesn’t take much out of him.

That’s been a constant point of friction between us. I’ve never left a job without another one lined up. Right now, he’s technically a salesman for a gutter company, but there are barely any leads. I think they fed him a few at the beginning just to get him in the door. Since then, nothing.

I think they are supplementing themselves by doing Uber Eats. Delivering food to people like themselves who are living hand to mouth. 

I still believe you don’t get anywhere without working hard when you’re young. I know hard work doesn’t buy what it used to. I know the math has changed. But I also know the alternative. And it’s worse.

I don’t know that financing his decisions is helping either. If anything, it feels like I’m reinforcing the same thinking his mother has always had: someone will catch you. Something will work out. Everything with Max has slid downhill since he moved in with his new girlfriend. I’m starting to think she’s part of the gravity.

Max has always been quiet, but I have noticed a shift in his personality since they have been together. 

He wouldn’t see it that way. But in the year since he moved in, he’s left a stable job for a string of bad ones, burned through what had to be close to fifteen thousand dollars in savings, and now they’re a month behind on rent.

That’s not bad luck.
That’s a direction.

Personally, I hope they breakup. Max should move back home and get his act together. One day she is going to get tired of being broke and move on anyway.

Update

 This month has two lame Holidays. What good is St. Patrick's Day if you don't drink? Easter? If you are not religious, you get stuck with the Easter Bunny. How lame. I didn't go to the bar on Sunday. I stayed home and begged out. I did make an interesting little Lego scene on Saturday. I have a few details to add before I take pictures. I planned something else. They never are planned, but it didn't look bad, and it will go to the show in July.

The March weather has been hit or miss, with several cold days expected this week. I can't wait for March to be over. I don't have anything else to report. I am getting boring in my old age, but I am okay with that.

Weekends

 Max came over Saturday. He is buying new clothes, working out, and hanging out with friends.  All the things that can be neglected when we are in a long-term relationship. It is good to see. I hope he can sustain his positive attitude through the holidays. It seems like he is starting to realize her agenda and his did not align.

Sunday, it snowed-- big wet flakes that did not stick to the ground and threaten to turn into rain at any point. I ventured out early and did some grocery shopping and used my 30% off coupon at Khols. I spent the rest of the day sorting through Lego and separating the pieces for some of the older sets I'd like to keep together with box and instructions.

Firefly went quiet Saturday afternoon. She was being transferred to a mental hospital near the condo. So I am assuming that is where she is at. She said it would be for three days, but I hope they keep her there for at least a week.  The more time she seems to spend in a controlled environment, the better.

I am looking forward to the upcoming time off. Next week I have a four-day weekend. After that, there are only fifteen or sixteen more working days in the year. It is not the holidays I am excited about.

I am looking forward to the time off and being able to indulge in my own activities. Perhaps I am closer to retiring than I think.

Updates

So why would you care

To get out of this place?
You and me and all our friends
Such a happy human race...Tripping Billies, Dave Mathews Band

Still haunted by the past in dreams.

The Gladiator is back.  One of the wheel spacers I installed became loose-- an expensive lesson.  I will eventually get some wheels from AEV.  I don't feel like forking out the cost right now.

Work is busy. Very busy. It is cutting into my free time.  

I will be going up to Mackinaw Island with Tinkerbell and her crew Friday.  Perhaps I will have something worthy to post when I return.

Motivation

Sunday I received a call from Firefly. We spoke for twenty minutes. She is still in rehab. She was on virus quarantine but that was due to be over Monday. She sounded in good spirits. I am not sure if it is a false front she puts on or if she is making the best of it. She is over the worst.  She said the current group of women is all being discharged soon. She would be in with a small group until it fills up again. 

Max came over Sunday. We discussed his plans for college. There doesn't seem to be any now.  He has changed his mind for whatever reason. He mentioned thinking about looking for a new job. Plenty of places are hiring. I told him since he has a job, it would be a good time to increase his pay. He has been talking about doing this for several weeks. I hope he gets motivated and does some looking. It wouldn't be hard.

Things are shaking up at my office. Someone got fed up with the drive and put in their notice. I am not sure if it will create any changes. Short term, I will be getting a better office but it comes with an increased workload. You can imagine how happy I am about that.

Snow

The snow started in the evening. I did not notice at first. I was busy exercising on my bike, showering, and working on a Lego project. It was after eight before I looked outside. The temperature is in the teens. The snow is light and accumulating fast. The wind is blowing it around adding to the whiteout conditions. They say we will be getting 6 to 10 inches. I am looking forward to taking the Gladiator out into it tomorrow.

It seems like a large swath of the nation is getting snow. This will be the most we have received at one time so far this year. It is pretty good considering it is mid-February. I have not ventured from the house much. A run to the grocery store and a quick trip to the craft store are the two exceptions this week.

Firefly is back. She rolled in Friday night looking worse for wear and announced, "I am going to take a shower."

"Hello to you too," I replied.

She did not do herself any favors while she was on her own. There is not much good I can say about her condition. She has been using. I think having a stable home helps, but not enough. She is her own worst enemy.