Boundaries

 Joy turned thirty Monday. She sent me a text in the afternoon. I didn't expect to hear from her again. 

Joy: Worset birthday ever.

Bathwater: Happy birthday; sorry things aren't going so well.

It is our first time communicating since I said we probably weren't compatible. Her response to that was that's fine, take care.

Joy didn't respond to my birthday reply, which is good. I don't see any reason to get sucked back into seeing her.

She clearly has a lot going on. I don't feel like dealing with it or taking advantage of it. Perhaps I am setting boundaries.

Joy

Sunday, Joy came over. She was late. She got into a minor car accident on the way over. Another vehicle dented her lower passenger door leaving a small crease. 

Joy is a petite blond. She came over dressed casually in jeans and a top with a pale pink hoodie. I took her out it a local restaurant for lunch. Joy has an anxious personality. She was smoking a weed pen and even had a drink at lunch, but neither seemed to calm her down or loosen her up. She likes to talk, and we had a good conversation throughout the day, but when we headed upstairs, she was still hard to read.

Things didn't go well upstairs. Her body was stiff. It made me uncomfortable, which caused me to ask more than once if she was okay with it all. That made her defensive. I think part of the problem is Joy is not the type to have casual sex. At twenty-nine, she has only had three sexual partners. She would make a better girlfriend than a friend with benefits. 

My gut says don't have her back. Things might get better, but I have a feeling it would be an uphill battle, and I don't feel like investing in it. There are too many other incompatibilities. 

Tidbits

Work has been so busy I haven't had time to post. I am writing this now at 6:30 pm. While I wait for a meeting to start.

Here is a little Ava tidbit. The last time I saw Ava, she indicated she was seeing Jordan Peterson with a male friend. Not a friend from the dating sites, but a friend (who I would guess she dated at some point). Ava only has male friends, and most of those are guys she has been intimate with. 

Anyway, she told me to keep Thursday open in case he backs out. Which wasn't a problem, I told her, though I said I was disappointed she didn't ask me, I would have enjoyed the show.

Monday, Ava told me she loved the show, but her boyfriend would be attending the next time. Apparently, she didn't even ask him. She just assumed he wouldn't want to go because he hates crowds and get anxious. I think it has more to do with the fact she was afraid she wouldn't enjoy it with him.

One day last week, I think it was Friday, a new girl I have seen came over. I am going to call her Joy. Joy is a petite 29-year-old single mother. She has long blond hair and a pretty face. Joy has pluses and minuses about her. She lives far away but doesn't mind the drive. She doesn't have much money and is struggling to pay her bills. I am not going to become a savior for her. I'm done with that.

Joy is talkative. I am not sure if it is because she spends her day around children or if she is just high-strung. I am taking things slow with her, but she is eager to hang out, even beyond what would be normally expected. That is a plus if she can get her personal life in order. Time will tell.

I am seeing Joy again on Sunday. Ava wants to come over Sunday, but I told her I already have plans. Ava indicated she was going to be busy between watching dogs and work most of the month, which is fine. It will give me a chance to get to know Joy.