The rest of my time was spent in Qinhuangdao. A resort city of the coast of Bo Hai Sea which flows into the Yellow Sea. My hotel was on the water. There was a spectacular view from my room on the eighteenth floor. You looked out onto the water. Below me were manicured garden paths leading down to a winding boardwalk and beach.
The weather was mild. The tourists were gone for the season. I saw few people on the beach. It would be a nice spot for a vacation. But this was a work trip and we spent our days at various manufacturing facilities while taking in a few of the local sites. There were no woman readily available to entertain businessman. No bar at the hotel.
My host spent a lot of time trying to feed me. I was a disappointment. Food holds no interest for me, especially seafood. Their seafood is all work. Giant shrimp with shell tentacles and eyes still intact and small crabs both leave a pile of waste on your plate for little meat.
I found myself with a lot of alone time. That is never good. My thoughts would return to Billy. On my previous trips to China I would be communicating with her constantly. I longed to reach out to her. As time passes I find myself hating her more but missing the relationship we had. If she were in front of me would I still be able to hate her? I do not know the answer. They say time heals all wounds but do you ever get back what you had?
This trip was so uneventful I cannot stretch it into multiple posts. Yes I stood on the Great Wall. Yes I saw some interesting things but the shroud over my heart does not allow them to reach me. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be free of me thoughts. I wanted what I no longer had.
I do not like that she still occupies so much of my thoughts and so much of this blog. I know in my heart she is missing me too. People have been saying you cannot replace one person with another. It feel like she has done that.