Hocking Hills- Day Two and Three

On our second day, we went back to the park for more hiking. Pictures do not do the rock formations and waterfalls justice. Everything was lush with moss and greenery. We tend to explore all areas and the more difficult paths. Ava takes pictures of everything. 

We picked up carryout from a local restaurant, spent more time in the hot tube, and the night testing the limits of the bed. The parks were not crowded, but we could not book horseback riding or kayaking last minute. We made the most of it, and both had a good time.

There was only one sour note. Late the second night, after having sex, Ava was texting her boyfriend. He was not satisfied with her vague answers and ended up calling her. She had the conversation on speaker it lasted for over an hour. It was painful to listen in on. Without screaming, dude, you are fucking stupid. His weak, whiny voice was just as I pictured. Ava was being evasive and gaslighting him. All the while, he is trying to pin down when she is coming home, professing his love for her no matter what and saying he was in it forever.

Dude, your "girlfriend" just got done banging another guy for an hour, I'm pretty sure that would change your outlook.

Ava downplays the significance. It's not as if she is planning on living him for me. "No, but you are emasculating him."

He figured out what she was doing when they were casually dating. The reason she was able to go on all the trips was that she was a paid companion. Still, he begged her to be his girlfriend even though she pleaded with him to allow her to keep working, and her actions haven't changed! She is still being evasive and still going on mysterious trips. She told him after the conference that she was going to Hocking Hills alone and renting a cabin for a few days. Are you fucking kidding me!

"The problem is, you don't respect him," I tell her once she is finally off the phone.

Instead of arguing with me, she agrees. "You are right. How can I? He is overweight, refuses to exercise, and triggers all my issues with my father."

The boyfriend spends hundreds on expensive gifts to buy her affection and then complains that he doesn't have enough money. Which is just another thing she finds unattractive. He never asks how she can afford to buy a new refrigerator for his house because she doesn't like the old one or afford to stay in a cabin for three days alone.

She feels he is her best option. I would stipulate he is her best option-- for now.

We made it home early in the evening Wednesday. Ava said she would stay the night. We picked up dinner and started watching a documentary about Marilyn Monroe on Netflix. I think the movie hit Ava a little too close to home. I think it was when Marilyn found notes written by Arthur Mill, her second husband, shortly after they married saying she is not the woman I thought she was and calling her a whore that sunk our evening.

I paused the movie, "Why don't you take a shower," I said. "I have to jump on a short meeting call."

Instead, Ava decided just to go. The change in her mood was palatable. I feel like she was a lot happier before she decided to move in with this guy. Lately, she seems more depressed. She is definitely not happy, but I think that is something she has been dealing with for a long time. 

My advice is always to be who she is and to stop compromising. She likes to say life isn't fair and that this is just how things have to be. I think we still choose.

Hocking Hills- Day One

 Last Friday, I received a couple disjointed text messages from Ava. She wanted to leave a day earlier for our Hocking Hills, Ohio trip. By the time I figured out what she was trying to say, she decided just to keep things as planned.

Sam and I went out to dinner Saturday. "Ava seemed a bit passive-aggressive in her text, but it is too much work to figure out what's up with her," I said. "I learn more by being with her face-to-face for five minutes, so I am just waiting for tomorrow."

Ava showed up on Sunday, ready and eager to leave. Her issues stemmed from a panic attack she had on Friday at her conference and had nothing to do with our trip.

We left Detroit and headed off to Ohio. I planned the route so we could stop off in Worthington, a suburb outside of Columbus. We shopped for supplies at Whole Foods and ate lunch at a great place in an outdoor mall. The weather Sunday was overcast and cool, but we did not run into any rain.

The outdoor mall was a great destination to kill time. We did window shopping, and I picked up some Legos at the Lego store before continuing down to Hocking Hills.

Ohio is misleading. You think of it as a flat state, but the southern portion has hills and rocks. Luckily, I rented a small secluded cabin within a mile of most attractions. Each morning we would see deer outside around the cabin and fearlessly close to the roads.

Our Cabin

On the first day, we hiked nine miles through the trees to a waterfall and back. Ava was in heaven. She loves the outdoors. Ava is the perfect travel companion for me. She never complains, offers suggestions, and goes with the flow. We ate dinner in the cabin. I jokingly suggested that we could skinny dip in the hot tube on the back deck. That night I got the hot tube going, and Ava came out naked, to my surprise, and joined me.

Storms Are Brewing

 As I said in the last post, Sam and I went to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant on Monday night. A storm blew in just as we were exiting the restaurant. The wind was so strong the entrance doors did not want to shut. We ran to our separate cars as the rain began to fall. On the ride home, the sky opened up, and it poured.

The wind knocked out power in several metro Detroit areas. Sam is still without power, and the twins lost power. Thankfully, mine did not go out. Although, it is out just a block away. I made my way into work this morning to find that a power line was down in front of work. We could not get to the building, so I turned around, picked up the twins, and headed back to my house.

By Tuesday afternoon, the power was back on for both Sam and the twins. Tuesday night Ava came to the condo running late and juggling her multiple lives. She changed, and we went to a nearby outdoor mall to pick up carryout and browse a few stores.

I haven't changed my diagnosis yet, but I think her diagnosis has some underlying nuances. Understanding her has changed my feeling toward Ava. I like her. I find her fun, interesting, and an enigma. The latter is probably what draws me to her.

Ava has changed up her plans for September. She is no longer going to house sit in Kalamazoo. The lady was not willing to pay what Ava considered a fair wage. Now, Ava wants to go away from September 11th thru the 14th with me. I booked a cabin in Hocking Hills, Ohio for us.

Don't ask me how she will pull off getting away without consequences. I don't think she has worked out her lie yet, but it sounds like there is trouble in paradise anyway. I think Ava would be happier if she uncomplicated her life. I am not sure she can do that. She seems to thrive on the chaos. 

I pushed a little around the edges. She considers her dad to have narcissistic tendencies, but she doesn't see them in herself. I keep reinforcing the honesty part between us and letting her know I am not going to judge her. This is who she is. I might not agree with everything she does, but I feel like I understand her. That is all that I am looking for right now.

Kentucky Trip- Days Three and Four

We parked up our belongings a day early on day three. The B & B was perfect for exploring the area, but we picked a hotel closer to Louisville for our last night to give us more privacy and visit a horse farm on our final day, but before Louisville, we spent the day in Bowling Green.

We wanted to experience a cave in Bowling Green. It was on our agenda since day one. It is a boat tour, but the water was too high the first to days for us to explore it. Ava dressed in matching shorts and a top with a flower pattern. We stopped at a rock shop where Ava purchased several large rocks. Each weighed over a pound. I told Ava she could get what she wanted as long as she could carry them all to the cash register.

We went horseback riding at a nearby stable and headed for Bowling Green. The Lost River boat tour is located in Bowling Green and has a couple miles of trails for hiking on the property. We walked the trails taking pictures while waiting for our tour to begin. Ava nibbly traversed fallen trees and muddy creek beds to get her perfect shots. I was not as eloquent and ended up in the mud once. I kept telling her I would be there to document when SHE got dirty, but it didn't happen.

The final cave tour was by boat. It was a short ride, but you need to duck your head for the first five feet of the ride to avoid the ceiling. Even leaning over in the boat only provided inches of clearance. 

It was another beautiful day. Temperatures were in the eighties. I rewarded myself with ice cream from Dairy Queen, something she is determined to get me to avoid. Ava opted for a salmon and kale salad and a healthy smoothie, though she was tempted to get ice cream. We still ate both inside Dairy Queen. No one minded. It was dark when we made it to the hotel outside Louisville.

Ava is a perfect travel partner. She never complains, and she pulls her own weight by helping with the navigation and selection of audiobooks. Monday, when I was in the office, I sent her a text.

Bathwater: You are an excellent navigator/ adventuring partner. Together I think we can travel almost anywhere and not have a bad time.

Ava: You read my mind. I was about to say the same thing. Yes, I had a wonderful time, as always. Thank you.

We had one more day of adventures before we returned. The following day, we woke early. I watched Ava choke down a grapefruit on the side of the bed-- because, well, she doesn't enjoy the taste, but it is healthy for you. I decided to forgo the grapefruit for an orange and a breakfast bar.

Ava wanted to check out a nearby outlet mall. Shopping is one of her weaknesses. Ava has a hard time avoiding a perceived deal. She had never been to an Outlet mall, and while the nearest one back home is deserted, this one had a variety of active stores. I bought myself two pairs of pants in the hour we had while Ava bought herself pants, a blanket, and two small backpacks.

Our last stop was another horse farm. This one had several horses, all roaming freely. Ava enjoyed the experience because she loves horses, but I have to say this one was not the safest. One rider actually fell during the ride, though she was okay. They took us for a two-hour ride through unmanicured trails and through a stream at one point. I am comfortable riding, but this was not my favorite experience. 

The ride back took us around Louisville along winding country roads. I preferred this to the city's traffic, and we linked back to our regular freeway outside of Cinnianti. We are acquainted with the drive now. It has become second nature for us to stop at familiar rest stops along the route.

Part of me was sad our trip had ended, but I was also ready to get back to the comforts of home. Ava and I decided to go to Hawaii the first week in November. It seems fitting, neither of us has been there, it is a week before her 30th birthday, and it will also mark one year ago that we met. 

Kentucky Trip- Day Two

 The following day, we set out to do more cave exploring. We didn't have a set plan, but we stopped. Ava is interested in crystals and rocks, so we stopped at a rock shop and toured Onyx Cave. It is a small cave found when the nearby stables and amusement decided to expand their parking lot in the 1970s.

From Onyx Cave, we traveled to the town of Horse Cave, a few miles away. Horse Cave has a cave in the center of town with a wide opening and three major domes. The cave is sixty feet below the town.

"I wonder what happens when they flush the toilets," I asked Ava, looking down into the sinkhole at the entrance. Indeed, on the tour, we found out that Horse Cave was once the worst-smelling town in Kentucky. Apparently, locals did not realize what they were doing by polluting their source of fresh water with waste.

Entrance To The Cave In Horse City

We spent a little time in Horse Cave, then heading back toward Mammoth Park, we saw a sign for Diamond Cave. Naturally, we pulled off and decided to see what we could see. There is a lodge built on top of Diamond Cave. You actually enter the cave from a gate in the entranceway that looks like it leads to a cellar.  It is incredible how close to buildings these caves can be. Diamond Cave has some pretty stalagmites and formations, but it also shows signs of damage from what we learned were cave wars back in the forties when local establishments were destroying the completion to gain more of the tourist trade.

Ava In Diamond Cave

From Diamond Cave, we stopped back at the B & B to change. The temperatures in the caves are from fifty-five to sixty degrees. Outside, it was sunny and eighty degrees. We loaded up the bikes, water, and snacks and headed back to Mammoth Park. We took a ferry across the Green River, which cut through the park's center, and rode some trails on our bikes.

It was a nice ride but not as scenic as the hiking we took the first day. On the way back to the B & B, the GPS took us up a two-track gravel road in the park. In several spots, it was only wide enough for one vehicle. Ava was a bit nervous, but I assured her the path was nothing the Gladiator couldn't handle. At one point, she saw an owl in the trees and made me stop and back up so she could get a picture. She stood up from her seat and took a video of the owl flying overhead through the Jeep's open top.

It was a long day, with hundreds of stairs, thousands of steps, and an eight-mile bike ride through hilly trails. When we arrived back at the B & B the sun was down and we were the only people there. We ate dinner in the room. A combination of pizza I picked up for myself and the groceries we packed for her. We cuddled in bed and Ava stoically held back her usually passionate screams. I slept soundly through the night without even remembering falling asleep.

Kentucky Trip- Day One

We packed our bags, the cooler, snacks, and the bikes and left the Detroit metro area early Wednesday morning. The weather warmed the further south we traveled. Our destination was seven hours away. We ate in downtown Cincinnati near the college. The area was packed with students. Parallel parking the Gladiator with a four-foot-long bike rack sticking off the back was challenging, but we had no issues.

We made it to the Bed & Breakfast by 5:30 pm. I was expecting the Dragon Fly Inn from Gilmore Girls, but we were in Kentucky. Our B & B was a large house on a sloped section of land close to Mammoth Park.  They had plenty of seating, a gazebo, and a fire pit outside the home. The owners live on the premises and have three or four rooms in the place they rent and a cabin.  The owners are friendly, and the wife made a fantastic breakfast each morning with plenty of options for Ava to eat. 

After driving around the area, I don't think there was a better place to stay. Each room had its own bathroom. The only downside to staying there was Ava could not be as vocal during sex in the evening, but we worked around it. 

On the first day, we drove into Mammoth Park. The park is vast, with plenty of hiking and bike trails. You don't need to pay to get into the park only if you want to take any cave tours. They have several. We booked a two-hour tour and spent the time we had before the tour hiking the trails near the main cave entrance.

This was one of my favorite days. Ava seems to love it all as long as we are outdoors. She took pictures everywhere. She is good at capturing the beauty in the little things we often overlook. Most of my photos are of her taking pictures. I had her take a few pictures of me, but there is only so much one can do to make me look good.

The Artist In Action

Hiking in Mammoth Park

Mammoth's main cave tour does not have as much interesting rock formations. It is primarily a wide-open space. Thankfully, that was not the only cave we visited.  We toured five in total throughout the trip. 

Entrance To Mammoth Cave

After the park, we grabbed something to eat in Bowling Green and returned to the B & B later in the evening. We don't have much downtime when we are on vacation. We don't spend nights watching TV or on our phones. One of us usually has something planned, but there is always time to switch things up or add locations.

 

Snow, In April

 It snowed yesterday. Nothing stuck to the roads, but there was an inch on the ground when it was done. I am so sick of this winter weather. Thankfully, we will be in 70-degree temperatures when we are in Kentucky. Despite my preparation, I don't feel like I am ready to leave. Work is piling up, and I cannot seem to get ahead, but I will forget about everything once we are on the road.

Max's car is in the shop again. They cannot seem to solve the problem. It is the third time we have taken it back. Otherwise, nothing to report. Hopefully, I will have several days of posts when I return.

Three-day Weekend

 It was a busy three-day weekend.  The weather was still cold and dreary, but I expect to have some good days this week for our trip to Kentucky.  Friday, I went to have Alexis cut my hair, and I removed and installed screens in their new windows. 

After I left, her sister's boss called. Alexis' older sister is an alcoholic and goes through binge cycles where she doesn't eat and only drinks. Alexis' sister is not healthy on a good day. She only weighs ninety pounds. The sister passed out at work, and Alexis was forced to pick her up and get her to the ER. She was a mess. I didn't learn all this until Sunday, but I am getting ahead of the story.

Saturday, Ava and I went to Whole Foods to stock up on snacks for our upcoming road trip this week. After grocery shopping, we stopped and had lunch at one of the small restaurants near the grocery. We decided to extend the day by going to the gym, so we swung by her place to pick up her gym bag and then headed for my condo to unload the snacks.  We ended up going to the gym location closer to my house. It is a nicer location than where she usually goes.

Ava did some time on the stair machine (her favorite) and the sauna, while I used the weight machines that my gym at work lacks. We didn't stay long, but the gym is next to an outdoor mall, so we also walked around there. Though cold, the sun was out earlier in the day, but the sun was behind clouds when we got to the outdoor mall. We didn't end up staying long. 

Ava picked up two items at Buckle. A bright red spaghetti strip bra-let and a rose color crop-top with lacy details around the neck and shoulders. She doesn't think she has the body to wear them, but I continuously assure her she does. She will say, one day, when I am in shape. She is young and in shape now. It gets harder the older you get, so she shouldn't wait.

Sunday, I got the bikes ready for our trip. I pulled the spare bike off the stand in the basement and replaced the training tire with a road wheel. I added a phone and water bottle holder to the orange bike and moved the accessory rack because the seat will be too low for it if Ava is riding the silver bike. I am almost set for the road trip to Mammouth Caves National Park.

My two bikes

I had Easter dinner over at Alexis' house. There were five of us, including Sam and me. After, we went to Alexis' sister's work to pick up her car and take it back to her house. The sister is still in the hospital detoxing. Sam and I made a quick trip to Meijer to pick up a part for a broken toilet, and Alexis cleaned up and took care of the sister's cats.

Violet

I had a hard time concentrating on work Tuesday. All I wanted to do was tell everyone what a wonderful time I had on vacation. I received a text from Ava Tuesday evening.

Ava: You are the best travel partner I've ever had the pleasure of exploring with. Thank you again for everything.

Bathwater: I had the best time, hon. You made it better than I ever imagined. I will be disappointed if we can't do it again soon. I would take you anywhere.

I have a fun time with Ava. She puts up with my sarcastic humor and corny jokes. She is a great navigator and keeps us on course when my directional skills falter while driving. Ava keeps up with me outdoors and indoors. She and I together reminds me of the Steve Martin movie LA Story for some reason, but Ava is a mixture of the two female leads.

I would describe Ava as a woman despite to escape herself, but she doesn't know how and sustains herself on hopes and dreams. She should embrace who she is. I don't see anything wrong with her. It goes back to The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. One mistake I made on the trip was not listening to it with her on the road trip.

I will sit back and see how things unfold for her in the coming months. It would be nice if she made herself available this summer, but I cannot count on it, and I will need to look for other possibilities.

Tennesse

 We had an excellent trip. We did so much in the short amount of time we had. I wouldn't have changed anything. I only wish we had more time.

I picked up Ava Thursday night. We spent the night at my condo and left early Friday morning. We drove through a snow squall leaving Detroit, but the weather improved the further south we traveled. Ava is a perfect travel partner. She is a good navigator, goes with the flow, and equally participates in adding unplanned stops.

We stopped for lunch in Cincinnati and spent a few minutes walking around the area, checking out the shops near the restaurant. I bought a tee shirt at a local bike shop before continuing our journey. The trip to Tennesse took nine hours of driving, but it was a pleasant trip. It gave us plenty of time to get to know each other better. I love listening to Ava discuss things she is passionate about. She can get worked up but is never unpleasant.

Our cabin was tucked away down a secluded gravel path just off the main two-lane road. It was fully stocked and situated in a few acres of woods with a mile of trails for us to explore. The cabin was a spacious one-room building divided into a seating area, a kitchen, a sleeping area, and a bathroom. We reached the cabin at dusk. It gave me enough time to explore some of the paths while Ava freshened up.

We stayed two nights in the cabin, and they were just as energetic as our days. The following day we walked the trails near the cabin. Ava loves to take photos. She can spend fifteen minutes trying to take the perfect picture of a pine cone. The path led us passed a pond, across a small creek, and into the trees. I basked in the silence of nature while she took photos. 

We headed for Cumberland Caverns after our walk in the woods. The main entrance into the caves looks accessible and inviting, but our tour took us on a half-mile hike up and down a rocky unmanicured path to an intimidating hole in the ground. We came prepared. They gave us hard hats with lamps, and Ava and I wore gloves and kneepads and carried extra flashlights. And believe me, they were all needed.

Our tour guide led us and fourteen others through a challenging adventure through dark, twisting corridors and tight spaces. It was very physical. We crawled through mud, climbed up and down ladders, and squeezed through tiny openings. I fell once on a slick mud-covered decline. We had to slog our way through six inches of water at one point on the two-and-a-half-hour tour. I found myself bumping my head more than once. Thank god for the hardhat, and we were both sogging and covered in mud before the end.

Ava was quiet as we walked back to the gift shop. I fear she hated the experience, but to my surprise-- she LOVED it. Ava wants to come back and explore more caves. Cumberland Caverns is not as scenic as Carlsbad but much more physically demanding if you are up for it. 

It was late afternoon by the time we finished the caves. We quickly changed the car and headed to Falls Creek state park after. It was a short drive away, and we got to see the Falls Creek Falls from the lookout before taking the half-mile trail down to the base. Once again, the path down to the bottom of the falls is only partially manicured, and you have to watch your step.

Ava is timid, but I convinced her to climb up onto a giant boulder at the base of the falls to take photos. It is a beautiful area. We drove around inside the park after seeing the falls. We saw plenty of deer along the road and inside the trees. There is a modern lodge with a restaurant inside the park, and we ate dinner there. The food was not remarkable, but the atmosphere inside the lodge was pleasant. It was late by the time we made it back to the cabin.

We went horseback riding the following day. Ava loves horses and used to volunteer at a stable in Detroit. It was a fun experience. Then we headed back to Falls Creek Park to revisit the first falls before exploring the rest of the park and going to the second falls. There was a lot of climbing. My thighs were sore by the second day, but Ava is a ball of energy.

Ava took more pictures of the second falls and along a suspension bridge before it was time for us to head toward Nashville. Our two-hour trip to Nashville took us down some scenic, twisty roads. Ava booked us a sound cleansing in Franklin, a ritzy area south of Nashville. 

We ate in Franklin. Ava loved the area. It has all the trappings of the rich-- Whole Foods (we stopped there to stock up on more snacks), bike paths, and a small downtown surrounded by big fancy houses. The sound cleansing is similar to the gong emersion we in Detroit in December. I was underwhelmed by this one, but Ava liked it.

We headed for our hotel in downtown Nashville after. Ava jumped into the shower while I napped on the bed. We she emerged, Ava sat next to me and said, "there is one more thing I'd like to do while we are here."

By this time, it was after ten at night. "What that?"

She was hesitant to say, "You know, that thing we talked about before."

I wasn't sure what she was getting at, so she finally admitted to wanting to go to a strip club. "There is one just two miles away from here," she told me. This was her idea, not mine. Ava is fascinated with strip clubs, though she has only been to one. Ava is a bit bi-curious. She doesn't admit it to many people, though.

I told her I was game for it. It was after midnight by the time we were dressed and headed back into the city. The Crazy Horse Gentlemen's club would be considered a lower-tier club back home in Detroit, but that made it an affordable adventure. They don't serve alcohol. It is strictly BYOB. That was okay for us because Ava doesn't drink, and I don't need to drink. There is no valet to park your car, and we just had to pay a cover charge. 

By my standards, it was a seedy club. There is a three-foot-wide expanse between the stage and the closest seats. The customers have to throw money at the stage, and after each set, a bouncer uses a squeegee on a pole to rake the singles into a bucket for the girls.

It was late, and the dancers still around were thicker than I preferred, but there was one Korean with a decent body that Ava and I liked. I tipped the girl when she was on stage, and we went back for private dances with her after. 

The girl made small talk with us between songs before asking if we wanted her to dance for both of us. I indicated she should dance for Ava, and I sat across from them to enjoy the show. At first, Ava sat stiff and was reluctant to touch the dancer, but she loosened up a bit after the first two songs so I had the girl dance two more for her. Ava liked it and I reaped the rewards late back in the hotel room. We had sex and stayed up past four-thirty talking.

The next day we didn't make it out of the hotel till noon. Then we ate lunch at a cafe and went to see the Parthenon before the long drive home.

It was a great trip. Ava said it was her second most favorite. Which I consider impressive considering it was only four days long and two were taken up by the drive. She was already planning a return to see more caves on the drive home, but I am not sure if it will happen. Ava has decided to take the two-year arrangement with the guy I mentioned before. She doesn't seem too excited about it. I think it is a bad idea and mentioned my opinion till she was tired of hearing.

My opinion is partly because I don't want to lose what we have going here, but I also don't think it is good for her. The thing is, Ava doesn't want to stop hanging with me either. She has fun with me. This trip really cemented the fact. It gave us a chance to talk and broke down the walls between us. I am just going to wait and see what happens next.

What I Have Been Thinking

 Even tough I have published my memoir.  I am still compiling a final edit to eliminate any typos I am getting from reader feedback.

It was sometime after traveling through the Mojave in the Jeep that I had a weak moment. I sent an image of me beside the Jeep to Billie. The same image I ended up using as my about the author bio page. I was feeling a momentary loneliness on the road.  It did not last long and we only exchange three text (two were mine). I have refrained from discussing my life in depth with Billie for some time. I feel like anything I share would be akin to bragging and indeed that picture, me with a band new Jeep Gladiator in the Mojave, was bragging.

After a difficult year following the break-up my life has gotten better. I haven't been alone. I am working from home.  I bought the new truck.  I went on a twenty-four day trip across the country and complete my novel. Both of of which, I consider bucket list goals.

I am been thinking about this road trip. Ultimately the trip was for myself but it was something I was not prepared to do on my own. It was a lesson in enjoying the moment. Firefly enjoyed the experience. Billie would have enjoyed it too but differently. Billie would never have been able to go on such a trip. I give Firefly credit for composing herself enough to go.

I have not sent a link to the memoir to Billie. I am not sure she would want to read it. she would probably want to forget about that time of her life.  It does not matter, I wrote the book for myself. I put together the post because I feel like it is some of the best writing I have done.

Firefly is still living with me. Since the accident she has kept a low profile. I don't mind the company. I have not been going out much myself. She is looking for jobs and has only left the house with me or her mother. Though she would not agree, not having a car has kept her clean and out of trouble. She is not happy with the situation, but I do not care. It is up to her to change it.

The completion of my novel has left me with free time. I am tried of looking at that manuscript but I miss writing it.  I started a fantasy novel, long ago when I was still married.  I only have a printed hard copy of the original work.  I think I will start putting that into the computer again and working on that.

 

More Details From the Road

 From Michigan we either drove through or stayed in the following states:

Ohio

Kentucky

Tennessee- Nashville, Memphis

Arkansas- Hot Springs,

Texas

New Mexico- Carlsbad, White Sands

Arizona- Tucson, Sabino Canyon 

California- Palm Springs, Joshua Tree, Mojave Desert

Nevada- Las Vegas

Utah- Springdale, Zion National Park, Moab, Arches National Park

Colorado

Nebraska- Ogallala

Iowa- Davenport

Illinois

Indiana  

We travel through sixteen states, including our own, in twenty-four days.  Not enough time but we were ready to come home.  There was less to see and do in the colder states.  We canceled a stop in Chicago due to everything being closed and just drove home.

I do not mind being back to work.  I see it as a necessary evil.  At least we are still working from home for now.  Not sure how much longer that will last.  

Firefly managed to total the Saturn two days after our return.  She rear ended another vehicle.  I am not sure what to do with her.  She is like a bad penny.  As of now she is mopping around depressed because she doesn't have a car.  It will take years for this one to learn.

The Adventure Continues

 After visiting Joshua tree National Park yesterday we are off to the sketchiest part of our trip.  We will be spending the next three days, including New Years, in Las Vegas.  I would like to visit some areas but I also want to try to remain safe.  Previously we managed to avoid crowds and visit national parks.  Las Vegas will be different. I will let you know how it goes.

Here are a couple images from Joshua Tree.

Tucson to Palm Springs

 My only mistake was not getting a national parks pass from the beginning.  We have been to several and have several more to go.  Spending Christmas in Tucson was a good idea.  The weather was great.  Highs were around 70 degrees.  We spend a few days at the pool and went to Sabino Canyon for a hike.

It was time to move on yesterday.  Firefly gets lazy and I like to see new things.  We are in Palm Springs, California.  It rained last night.  Their idea of a winter storm.  We are going to Joshua Tree tomorrow.  I would like to head for a few more places in the area.  The plan is to drive up through the Mojave with my Jeep Gladiator Mojave on the way to Las Vegas next.

Pictures From The Road

 Parthenon Nashville

Graceland

Hot Springs

Carlsbad Caverns

White Sands

Guadalupe Mountains

On The Road- Christmas Eve

 We left at 9:00 am.  The storm that battered the east did not affect us.  The day was overcast but without precipitation.  We filled the truck bed with bags.  Better to have too much than not enough.

Firefly sleep the first 4 hours.  She said she has not been sleeping very well.  We stopped once to get drive through and refuel in Ohio, then again later to go to the bathroom in Kentucky.  

Firefly perked up as the day progressed.  The last two hours of the drive she was taking pictures and videos while singing along with me to alternative rock tunes.

We spent two nights in Nashville, taking in music row and the Parthenon.  The next day we headed for Memphis and Graceland.  So far I think Graceland was one of are favorite stops.  There is plenty to see.  We arrived around 2:00 pm and ended up being the last car in the parking lot.  Firefly likes to explore everything.   She takes pictures and reads all the exhibits where ever we go.

It is hard to believe we have already been on the road for 8 days.  We spent 2 days in Hot Springs, Arkansas before driving through Texas and staying over at Carlsbad New Mexico.  We saw the caverns which was another great adventure and headed out to White Sands.  White Sands is pretty but not the place to be on a cold and windy day.  It was like being back in the snow but with more grit.

We are in Tucson now.  We are staying in a fancy resort and resting.  I will upload some pictures later today or tomorrow.  We still have more places to see. 

T Minus One Day and Counting

 Tomorrow we are leaving.  I am packing the "lit flare" (Firefly) and heading out into the fireworks shop, as Rothwilder put it.  Our first stops are Nashville, Memphis, Hot Springs and Galveston.  From there this get a little murky.  Carlsbad is on the list and we are staying outside of Tucson for Christmas.  We will be in Las Vegas for New Years and visiting Zion National park along the return leg, with several other possible stops along the way.

T-Minus Two Days, and Counting

 It is two days before our departure.  Firefly says she is excited but she still needs to get her prescription for Suboxone today.  Yesterday they would not give it to her.  She had a faint trace of cocaine show up on her drug test.  She says it was a false positive but I doubt it.  

I am not going to get my hopes up until we are actually on the road.  I have been disappointed too many times in the past.  If we go, I plan on making it an epic journey to the best of my abilities.  If we don't, I plan on painting the moldings along the top of the half wall that borders the loft and stairwell.  Inside I have resigned myself to either outcome.

I have sent Tinkerbell a copy of my book for her to read and give me feedback.  I am pretty happy with it.  It looks like a novel.  It has a cover page, copyright, dedication, and table of content.  I have been reading a book on Amazon that describes how to format it for self publication.  Dave I might pic your brain on this also as you have successfully published four novels that way.

My hope is to have a picture of me beside the Jeep Gladiator with the mountains of the Southwest behind me.  If nothing else, this goal, completing my first draft, is complete.  I am taking my computer on the trip.  To do research on the journey.  I will try to keep you posted along the way.

A Long December

A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin'
Now the days go by so fast

And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven I wish you would

The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl

I regard her closely.  Firefly is so young.  She looks at me silently.  Her lower lip protruding in a subconscious pout.  "I have never taken a twenty-six day vacation.  I have never traveled the country. I want to do it with you. I want to create new memories.  You are young this trip might inspire you to travel more, but this might be the best chance I will ever have."

None of my friends have said anything to discourage me from taking this trip during the pandemic.  No one has said I am being selfish.  I think I am being selfish.  That could just be the voice inside my head.

I emailed Billie the other day during a bit of a low point.  It was a brief note apologizing for not reaching out when she did.  I told her I am fine and the boys are fine and I missed her.  Her mom is sick with Covid and having a hard time with it.  Our exchange was devoid of any details concerning ourselves, just a thousand unanswered questions.

I have to start creating some uplifting playlists for the ride.  Although this song speaks volumes about the way I feel, I would rather keep Firefly in a positive mood.

Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her

And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean I guess I should...A Long December, Counting Crows

Isolation

 I have been pacing the floors of my condo.  Walking in aimless tight circles.  I haven't been eating much. My weight is the lowest it has been since Billie left.   Sleeping is hard even when I dose myself with medications.  I have not been out of the house since Sunday.  Firefly is supposed to be coming home tonight.  She has been gone for three days.  I feel like she will come up with an excuse not to show up before the day is out.

I am fixated on the uncertainty of this upcoming trick.  I am not sure if Firefly even wants to go anymore.  She is weaning herself off of benzos.  My gut tells me is will be hard to deal with on the trip.  It is hard to deal with her here.  I keep telling myself to not be impulsive.  There is not harm in waiting it out a few more days.  We don't have any advanced reservations.  I have nothing to lose.  If we don't go, I think I will just take the car away again and be done with her.  If we do, I will probably sign it over to her and ask her to move out.  I should never have put myself in this position.  I am really at a lose what to do.