Snow Days and Max

It was the MLK holiday, but my office didn’t give the day off. I had a doctor’s appointment, and Tinkerbell asked if I wanted to get together, so I decided to take a vacation day.

Winter in Michigan has been rough this year. A lot of snow. A lot of cold. Monday was no different. When I got to the doctor’s office, industrial fans were everywhere. A pipe had burst. I arrived just in time for them to tell me they were closing the office and rescheduling everyone.

I headed over to Tinkerbell’s side of town early. I had time to kill, so I stopped at the mall near her house. It’s been a while since I’ve done any shopping or even just gotten out. I parked and struggled through the slush and blistering cold.

Inside the mall, the first thing I noticed was jackets and shoes strewn on the chairs near the entrance, but no people. I thought it was odd until I realized they belonged to the mall walkers.

Apparently, they aren’t concerned about their jackets. They leave them behind like guests coming to visit and then walk the mall. The retired crowd. Soon that will be me. I did do some walking, but I wanted to shop. I ended up buying a belt and two shirts on sale.

After the mall, I picked up Tinkerbell and we headed to the Henry Ford Museum. This was our plan, but she failed to mention it was a free day. It was packed with everyone who can’t afford the usual $34 ticket. Tinkerbell has a membership. A fact she mentioned repeatedly.

Still, it was good to get out and see her. She has decided to do Frankenstein’s Laboratory for Halloween this year.

Max is still avoiding telling me what’s going on until after the fact. He and his girlfriend are still underemployed. They are moving out of their apartment and back to Chesterfield. I assumed they would move temporarily in with his mom. That’s not what’s happening.

My ex is moving the twins out of their condo and back into her house and allowing Max and his girlfriend to live in the twins’ condo.

I was shocked. It feels like she is continuously rewarding Max for poor decisions. She isn’t charging them rent. Even if the condo is paid for—which I don’t think it is—there are still association fees and taxes. I will be very interested to see how long they stay there and whether the twins ever get it back.

I’d also be very interested to know who is paying the mortgage and the fees. The fact that the twins were instructed not to tell me what was happening already tells me she knows it’s wrong or that something shady is going on.

Obviously, Max and his girlfriend need help. But giving them that condo isn’t teaching them anything. Judging by the way they took care of the duplex they rented in Northville, I doubt they will take care of this place.

My harsh opinion is not well received by Max, but I don't really care. There is a pattern of poor choices that has lead him to the situation. Rewarding him will not change his behavior. Yes, times are tougher for young people today. That only means you have to be even more careful with the choices you make.

Coping

 I went out with Ava several times but never picked up where we left off. Despite what Ava says, I don't think she has broken up with her boyfriend. She has it in her mind, but he doesn't think so. This is all from my casual observations. At one point, Ava suggested she would need more to come over but could only stay for an hour. I told her that wouldn't work for me. Something tells me I haven't seen the last of her though.

What have I been doing?  Like half the men in their 20s, I have been glued to my tablet playing an online game. The game is called LastWar and it is raking in billions. You can download it from your phone, but I don't suggest it :). I spend nights on Discord chatting with members of my alliance and trying to grow my squads.

I have been secluding myself away from others by choice. I went out last month with Jay, Sam, and Alexis to celebrate our collective birthdays, but for the most part, I haven't even been spending time with them. It just doesn't bring me joy. The only ones I see regularly are Max and the twins.

Gia and I text regularly. She is happy in Tampa again, and far enough away from the coast to have weathered both Hurricanes unscathed. About once a month we get on Zoom so I can see her gorgeous smile. We are planning a Zoom call on Thanksgiving.

I received a drunk call from Tinkerbell late Friday night. She was walking home from the bar. I think her boyfriend Tech doesn't approve of our relationship. I don't blame him. While I consider it more of a father/daughter type bond at this point, I can see how it can be intimidating. Tink wanted me to know that T-Rex is doing good. He is away, at Central Michigan University now. 

I think Tinkerbell is sacrificing her happiness for the T-Rex's future. "Don't ever think, I don't love," Tinkerbell stated more than once. "You are my Luke." This is a reference to a character on the show Gilmore Girls. "Lorelai ended up marrying Luke." I assured her that wouldn't happen with us.

Tink's unhappiness was palatable. More from what she wouldn't talk about than what she did. I do miss her. I miss the days when we would talk for hours on the phone. This conversation just leaves me perplexed.

Are we all just trapped in unhappy lives? Some of us just coping better than others.

Funny

My twins text me occasionally things about my ex-wife. I don't really engage much with them about her. The twins like to complain, and I am sure they do the same thing about me. I did receive two texts that I found interesting last week.

This one was the day before Mother's Day. 

Twin A: Mom told me today is the day she divorced you.

It has been twenty years. I would even be able to guess the day the divorce was finalized. I do remember the day she filed for divorce. It was on my birthday. Why would she even remember the day?

Twin B: We went to Romeo today to meet Mom's cousin with Mom and Stepdad. (I am paraphrasing.)

I didn't mention to Twin B that his mom dated her cousin (same last name but distant enough) before me. I am sure she didn't say that to her now-husband, either. She seems to have a problem letting go of her past, and she tends to romanticize it. The first thing she did when she decided to divorce me was look up an old boyfriend she hadn't seen in 18 years. She dated him long-distance for about a year during and after the divorce.

I wouldn't be surprised if history repeats itself. 

Eclipse

 I viewed the solar eclipse yesterday. It did not go dark here, but we witnessed the moon cover the sun. I used special glasses. I have nothing of interest to report. I have been building Lego and seeing my kids, but otherwise, I have been lying low.

Gia still hasn't decided whether to return this month. One day, she is coming; the next, she is not. Gia wants to stay for a month or more but feels it is too expensive. Gia is worried about it working out financially. As of this morning, she has returned to considering coming out for just the week of the NFL draft. Gia will need to make her mind up soon. The draft is only two weeks away.

I really want to see her again. Though I know it will probably lead to nothing, she is fun to be around. I do have a coffee date with a new girl tonight. We will see how that goes. It would be nice to have someone around for the summer. 

This week is Max's birthday. He turns twenty-five. I want to buy him a new pair of boots for work. He has been walking around with duct tape on his current pair for a month but refuses to buy a new pair. 

The Weekend

 The weekend started out strong for me. Friday night, I cleaned the Gladiator for two hours instead of just making dinner and sitting in front of the TV. Saturday, I woke up and cleaned the truck inside and out for another four hours. It doesn't look showroom-new, but pretty close.

Saturday night, I met up with Sam for dinner. We seem to have a lack of things to converse about lately. Mostly because I have no one new in my life stirring things up. Tink texted me over the weekend, inviting me to kayak on the Rifle River on July 1st. I turned her down last year when she suggested this. The last time I was kayaking on the Rifle River was the day a confronted Billie about her affair. The place doesn't hold good memories for me, but I like hanging out with Tink and Tech, so I booked my trip.

Sunday morning, I took the twins out to breakfast. It was raining, so after I dropped them back off at their mother's house, I had to wipe down the truck again. I was determined to get a least one more day out of all my cleaning. After I sat in front of the TV most f the day. I wasn't motivated to work on my project. Instead, I spent too much time eating and sleeping. 

I need to get back into shape for summer, though. All that eating is starting to show. I don't like it, and I can feel the difference when I am eating unhealthy. For some reason. I am craving food more than usual. I am not sure whether it is my mood or just the season.

Another Weekend

I like Mondays once I get out of the house. The mornings in the office go by quickly. I catch up on news, blogs, and emails. Several people in the office choose Monday as their work-from-home day. I prefer Wednesdays. It breaks up the week nicely that way.

Last weekend, I made it halfway through editing The Body Under The Ice. I should be complete by this weekend. Editing takes more time than just reading. Sometimes my suggestions become irrelevant after further reading, and I need to go back and revise myself. I still don't know who the killer is, but I have a few ideas.

Otherwise, the weekend was slow. I bought a 3 in 1 Lego castle, but I will put it away for future resale. I took the Twins out for breakfast yesterday. After, we went back to their duplex, and I helped Twin A with problems he was having with his computer.

I haven't heard from Ava since the last time we were together. She did indicate she would be busy between work and watching dogs the rest of the month. I wouldn't be surprised to learn she got proposed to on Valentine's Day. It seems like the kind of thing her boyfriend would do. Time will tell. I suspect Ava will reappear sometime in March.

It is almost time for a snapshot of February. This month is flying by. I have started working out my shoulder. Mostly just stretching it. It feels pretty good. Though the muscles are weak. By March, I will start lifting some weights and doing push-ups again.

Guardianship

 The twin's guardianship court hearing was today. My twins are cognitively impaired. They can live on their own but need help with many of life's more difficult activities. Guardianship is renewed every five years. TheEx is the twin's guardian. Her husband, the twin's stepfather, is second. I stopped fighting this long ago.

Logically, if something happens to TheEx, I seriously doubt the stepfather is going to want to take over the responsibility for the twins. They were adults before he even came into the picture. The stepdad is just a wet noodle that goes along with whatever his wife wants.

TheEx has been the twin's guardian since they turned adults. They are twenty-nine now. During her time as their guardian, she has failed to get them involved in programs that would allow them to socialize or help them get and keep a job. They are isolated. They spend most of their time at home alone.

The courts think she is doing a good job. They set the bar pretty low in these cases. I tried to get guardianship last time, but things were stacked against me. Mostly the status quo. I no longer care to have guardianship. It would be too much work to undo the harm she has done. When I say harm, I mean the quality of life, confidence, and self-reliance the twins could have learned.

TheEx would consider me a bad father. She wouldn't see her part in what was created. She would see herself as a martyr. I don't think you should get sympathy for what you create yourself. 

There are few people I cannot stand. TheEx is one. Not because she divorced me. I actually thank her for that. I blame her for how the divorce affected the kids. 

Brief

The twins stayed the night on Friday. I took them to the store and bought them clothes for Christmas. They needed new things. They are growing out of their clothes, which is not good. They are overweight.

It is going to be a busy work week. Everyone is trying to get things completed before the holiday. I only have the next 5 days to complete all my work for the year. Not everything will get done. Luckily, next year has not been canceled. 

I have finished all my pre-operation appointments and passed with flying colors, although my blood pressure is slightly higher than I'd like. I really need to stop vaping. That is on my list for the end of the year. I will have a sling for six weeks. After the first few, it sounds like it is more of a reminder not to move my arm in the wrong direction or to lift heavy objects. The doctor will screw my bicep muscle back into place and clean up anything else he sees.

The operation is outpatient and should only take about an hour. Although, just like going to the airport, there is over an hour of preparation beforehand. Max will be taking me to the surgery. They think I will be first in line, so it should happen early in the morning, and I can go back home and pass out for the first day.

I plan on writing more during the break. I plan on doing a few things. We will see how it goes.

Fifty-Eight

And don't believe a word they're telling to you
Don't believe a word they're telling to you
They let me down
When will I find where I fit in?
I hate this town...

Today is Sunday, September 18th, and I turned fifty-eight today. I know, it's hard for me to believe too. I am trying to make the best of my good years. Though I have to admit that I am slowing down.

I put the Lego display together on my work table one last time before starting the process of boxing everything up for transport. My cat, Sienna, is upset because I won't let her in the spare room where everything is in boxes, but I don't want to have to put anything back together if she starts jumping on things. I figure I will have enough to rebuild from the 40-minute drive to Novi.

I am working out the logistics. My truck is not big enough to take everything on one trip. I've decided to pack up what I can take Thursday night after work and then make a second trip Friday with the twins to complete the set-up. Sam has volunteered to help me dismantle and take things home Sunday night. I am excited. Hopefully, I will make a few like-minded connections at the show.

I texted Billie Friday for her birthday. Her baby was born two days after Firefly's baby. Both had girls. Billies was premature, and she delivered via a C-section. The baby weighed 5 lbs, 6ounces. She said everything was going well.

But now I never know the things to say to you
That help me prove that I'm still on your side
I never show just what you do to me...All Signs Point to Lauderdale, A Day To Remember

Otherwise, it is a quiet rainy day that promises to turn hot and muggy later. I would be fine spending the day at home, but Sam wants to attend an art show in Birmingham this afternoon. 

Storms Are Brewing

 As I said in the last post, Sam and I went to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant on Monday night. A storm blew in just as we were exiting the restaurant. The wind was so strong the entrance doors did not want to shut. We ran to our separate cars as the rain began to fall. On the ride home, the sky opened up, and it poured.

The wind knocked out power in several metro Detroit areas. Sam is still without power, and the twins lost power. Thankfully, mine did not go out. Although, it is out just a block away. I made my way into work this morning to find that a power line was down in front of work. We could not get to the building, so I turned around, picked up the twins, and headed back to my house.

By Tuesday afternoon, the power was back on for both Sam and the twins. Tuesday night Ava came to the condo running late and juggling her multiple lives. She changed, and we went to a nearby outdoor mall to pick up carryout and browse a few stores.

I haven't changed my diagnosis yet, but I think her diagnosis has some underlying nuances. Understanding her has changed my feeling toward Ava. I like her. I find her fun, interesting, and an enigma. The latter is probably what draws me to her.

Ava has changed up her plans for September. She is no longer going to house sit in Kalamazoo. The lady was not willing to pay what Ava considered a fair wage. Now, Ava wants to go away from September 11th thru the 14th with me. I booked a cabin in Hocking Hills, Ohio for us.

Don't ask me how she will pull off getting away without consequences. I don't think she has worked out her lie yet, but it sounds like there is trouble in paradise anyway. I think Ava would be happier if she uncomplicated her life. I am not sure she can do that. She seems to thrive on the chaos. 

I pushed a little around the edges. She considers her dad to have narcissistic tendencies, but she doesn't see them in herself. I keep reinforcing the honesty part between us and letting her know I am not going to judge her. This is who she is. I might not agree with everything she does, but I feel like I understand her. That is all that I am looking for right now.

Airport

Friday, I checked Sam's flight arrival status before leaving for the airport. Her plane was scheduled to land at 10:20 pm. By the time I made it to the arrivals area, it had been delayed fifty minutes. The Detroit Metro airport arrival zone was busy. I guess it is not unusual for a Friday night. I left the airport and parked at a gas station not far away.

I made my way back to pick up Sam at the new arrival time. She arrived safely, and we headed home. Sam drove from Detroit to St. Paul with her stepson. She drove his car, and he drove a U-haul truck.  He is staying in St. Paul for two months as a summer intern. Sam was exhausted from the trip.  She regaled me with stories from the trip, including a torrential storm and the stepson's girlfriend's support bird. It was a hilarious tale, but I could not begin to do it justice here.

Saturday, the twins came over and spent the night. It was the first time both spent the night simultaneously in a long while. We took a walk through the nearby neighborhoods, and I made dinner.  It was a good visit.

Sunday, while I was driving the twins to their mom's house. I saw pallets being offered for free along the road. I texted Ava.  She has this strange idea that she can use pallets to create a seating area in the backyard of the new boyfriend's house. When she told me of her plans, I asked, "Is he handy?"

"He's Jewish. He'd rather pay someone else to do things," Ava replied.

Bathwater: I saw a couple stacks of pallets when I was out driving this morning. Are you still looking for some?

Ava: If they look good, yes. Just 9 max, but even 2-4 is a good start.

Bathwater: If I pick them up, I don't want to get stuck with them. 

Ava: No, you won't get stuck with them.

I picked up four and set them in the garage for Ava. I am not sure how she plans on getting them to the house.

Later I washed the truck, but it turned out to be a useless endeavor. Sam called me later and wanted to get something to eat. We picked a restaurant on Lake St. Clair. It started raining while we were eating, and it rained again Monday morning on the way to work.

So far, the dating apps are devoid of any exciting prospects. So far, I've only chatted with a scam artist, a depressed mother of three, and two sixty-year-old women whose interests are tennis and golf.

If Ava decides it isn't worth trying to maintain a connection, I fear it will be a dry Summer for me, but perhaps I am just being pessimistic. Ava and I are supposed to get together Tuesday, but I haven't pestered her about it. I'm sure she will reach out one way or the other, and then there are also these pallets.

February Ends

I filed my taxes this weekend. I owed $400 and spent another $100 preparing them. That is better than I expected, and I am glad to get that out of the way. Next year will be worse. I need to find a better side business. Being an author is not enough of a write-off.

Twin A, Twin B, and I went out to lunch Saturday. We ate at Vic's Dinner. It is a place Billie and I used to have breakfast with my dad when he was still alive. The twins enjoyed it. After, I spent some time helping them clean their condos. It looked like no one had helped Twin A clean his place in a while. His mom and step-father don't seem to have the time.

I know I am at the right weight. It seems to fluctuate with the amount of exercise I am doing. If I do more exercise, my weight increases, and if I do less, it decreases. If I was overweight, it would probably do the opposite.

Spring has not hit the area yet. We have another week of temperatures in the 30/40s, but it looks like we have seen the last of the snow. 

Tinkerbell and Tech are in Dallas for a convention dealing with Tech's IT business. Tinkerbell tags along, but it sounds like these trips are a bit boring for her, but it is a vacation.

Trapdoor Spider

Because my life is currently boring. I decided to pull this from my archive.

Originally Post Saturday, October 5, 2005

Trapdoor Spider

 "You really are childish", said Twin A, as if confirming someone else's opinion.

"Where did you hear that, your mom?"

"Yes."

Cool! Being childish is more fun than being old manish. The youngest has set his stuffed animals up on the sofa. Jeffrey, Steve, Snowy, Garfield, and Squidward are all in a row. My youngest is hiding under a blanket draped between the sofa and the coffee table. He is the trapdoor spider. He is learning about spiders in school.

It is my job to walk each animal past the blanket and provide amusing commentary as the spider pulls each one under. Twin A is doing his homework. It's late and he is tired. The concentration is not there. Twin B is watching the hockey game. I bounce little blue Jeffrey across the blanket. The tune "Walking On Sunshine" gets abruptly cut off as the spider pulls him under with a fit of giggles. Next, it's Snowy's turn. Snowy is contemplating a name change. Rainy,Wethead, or Socks. More giggles and Snowy joins Jeffrey. Twin B can't resist the allure of the fun. He crawls under the blanket and the youngest and I take turns bouncing the stuffed victims before him.

Before the boys were born I always thought I'd want to have daughters. After the twins were born I realized it was never going to happen. Our family is plagued by boys. I have two brothers. They each have a boy. I have three boys and my dad was an only child. Sure there is a lot to be said about having a daughter. No doubt if I had a daughter she would be spoiled rotten. But a movie like "Thirteen" is enough to make me glad I have boys. Besides, it's great just to be one of the boys.

In The Middle

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head, you feel left out
Or looked down on
Just try your best
Try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away

It just takes some time.
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right, all right...In the Middle, Jimmy eat World

Firefly's case manager said she would be getting transferred this week, but she didn't give a day. Firefly thinks it will be today. "They pick up on Tuesday and Thursday," she said to me over the phone yesterday. "And today is already Wednesday."

The rehab facility is not downtown. It is two miles away from my work. In a building that used to be a mental institution. The rehab is not coed. The women are separated from the men.  That is good. Firefly doesn't need any distractions.

This week most of my customers are on vacation. This used to be the week when the automotive factories changed over to the new models. I don't think that is true anymore. The office has been quiet and boring.

Twin A got a new kitten.  Its name is Keebler. I went over to the boys' houses last night to set up their new TVs and give them their birthday present. Twin B is supposed to come over to my condo this weekend. He usually backs out. We will see how that goes.

You Can't Fix Stupid

 In yet another case of I told you so, TheEx has covid. My son Max is getting tested today because he had a headache yesterday (he still lives with the ex-wife).  I have not heard from the twins who were at TheEx's house over the weekend, so I would not be surprised if they are sick too. 

You can't fix stupid. 

It seems though we are supposed to go into the office three days a week now, everyone is doing their own thing. That is fine with me. I went in on Monday. Today I have a zoom call. I prefer to do those at home where it is quiet.  I have another call tomorrow. I am not sure what I will do then.

Agnotology

 Agnotology (formerly agnatology) is the study of culturally-induced ignorance or doubt, particularly the publication of inaccurate or misleading scientific data. 

I know at least 6 people that can get the vaccine that have not. Seems ridiculous. TheEx has not gotten my twins. They are twenty-seven and mentally challenged, vaccinated. She is a nurse and has not gotten it. Neither has Max, his girlfriend, or Tinkerbell. None have a good reason.

Firefly has not gotten the vaccine, and she hangs around a group of people that pass the virus around like needles. The internet is both a blessing and a curse on society. 

Makes one want to take a boat to the edge of this flat earth and just hide on the ice shelf at the edge. Sometimes I wish I could live long enough just to watch this Matrix collapse. As I write this, Grammarly is telling me this post sounds "Joyful." Clearly, it cannot detect sarcasm.

The Weekend

 I discussed Firefly’s departure with my friend Jay over the phone on Friday. He said, ‘now you are going to have to find another one,’ when I was finished.

I don’t feel like finding another one—at least not yet.  I don’t think I have seen the last of Firefly. We parted on good terms considering.  I would be fine with her stopping by occasionally.  She is just not moving back.

Two copies of my book came in the mail Friday. I waited long than the others who ordered it. Bad review aside, I feel a sense of accomplishment looking at the book on my nightstand.

I took my twins to breakfast Saturday morning.  The Coney Island where we ate was not busy or crowded.  I think most people are still avoiding eating out.  After breakfast, they came back to the condo.  We played Star Wars Battle Front for several hours and then they stayed the night.

I got a text from Firefly on Saturday night.  It was not from her phone.  It said, ‘send boyfriend’s number.’

‘Where is your phone? You told me you knew his number by heart the other night.’

‘It died. I thought so.’

I sent her the number and added, ‘I am not even going to ask why you are away from your phone charger.’

She did not offer an excuse.

Tonight, it is going to get down to 2 degrees above zero.  My furnace has been turning on frequently. The house is dry. I only have a portable humidifier I keep in the bedroom. I am going to turn down the heat and turn on the electric mattress pad when I go to bed.