Friday, May 15, 2020

Another Dream

Last night I dreamed I was trying to convince Billy to stay with me.  It was a reply of our final days in the real world in a stretched out switched location way that happens in dreams.  In the dream as in real life she declined.  I woke with a tightness in my chest and feeling stress.  If I am dreaming about it, what is the chances I will be able to resist letting her back into my life if the opportunity presents itself?

I don't want that.  She had everything I could offer her and she throw it away.  If she didn't realize that then, she will not realize it in the future.  I don't forgive her.  I never will. 

Yesterday I went over Alexis' house and she cut my hair.  My desire to quarantine is waning.  Things will not be going back to normal anytime soon and I am not very happy about it.  I have been trying to be more charming on the dating site Bumble.  I have been talking to a few women but it is not going anywhere.  I think a big part of it is because I don't give a fuck.  I am really interested in either of the women I am talking with.  Just another week inside my capsule.
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10 comments:

  1. Dave RMay 15, 2020 at 3:34 PM

    You should have gotten a part-time job at Home Depot. You would have been able to break quarantine and feel Essential by selling... plumbing fixtures... maybe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BathwaterMay 15, 2020 at 5:20 PM

      Know I really should get a part time job right now!

      Delete
  2. "Tommy"May 15, 2020 at 5:04 PM

    Hope all will work out in time... its a time to regroup and approach Life in a way to preserve it.

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    1. BathwaterMay 15, 2020 at 5:21 PM

      I am sure it will work out over time once I start getting out of the house.

      Delete
  3. the late phoenixMay 15, 2020 at 8:54 PM

    this thing could become endemic to our planet if there's no vaccine...things are not looking good...

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    1. BathwaterMay 18, 2020 at 8:08 AM

      I know so what do we do? Do we get it and get it over with? Or do we continue living in fear?

      Delete
  4. Jeune et jolieMay 16, 2020 at 9:57 PM

    Oh babe, I totally see myself in this. It's like people are just a hobby, just to keeps us busy until who we want comes back. Except... they're not coming back. I'm sorry you're going through this. I fell you and send you my support. Hang in there xx

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    Replies
    1. BathwaterMay 18, 2020 at 8:11 AM

      No Billy is not coming back. She can't it is a lesson a desperately need to stick with. One day I hope one either the virus will get me or I will tire of these hobbies.

      Delete
  5. Mary KirklandMay 17, 2020 at 5:16 PM

    Some people cannot appreciate what they have until it's too late and it sounds like she might be one of those people. I'm sorry you feel sad. Things will get better. I keep telling myself that and I have to believe it.

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    1. BathwaterMay 18, 2020 at 8:13 AM

      Friends say something similar. They say she was foolish to throw what we had away. We will never really know unless she says it though. Still she cannot come back and that is the worst knowledge.

      Delete

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