This weekend I found myself fighting the malaise. The sun can out and we crested seventy degrees again. I cleaned the Jeep. Went on walks with one of my twins. I even rode my bike outside for a few miles. It is all just killing time and I am losing my motivation for it.
In the comments of my last post Lucy asked, "Do you know what it will take for you to get over Billy?"
The best answer I can give is-- time. It has been hard lately, Billy is never far from my thoughts. She gone and has taken away the pleasure of certain activities with her. I don't feel like bike riding anymore, it brings back memories of when we were together. So I walk instead.
The physic said, "I never see her (Billy) totally going away." That may be true, but what we had is gone. I am no longer willing to pay the cost of loving her. Letting go is all about releasing control. I have to remind myself that.
I cannot control my future, I cannot change the past. I can only live in the moment.
I would not call Dr. Chief Lucky, he will try and steal your cash.
ReplyDeleteThe past is something you can learn from, an evolving lesson helping us move forward through our lives. Hhhmmm, that sounds a bit philosophical, doesn't it?
If you want to send me typo info on the book my email is:
drsnyderwriter@gmail.com
have a good day, sir.
I will send you my mark-ups once I finish reading. I am about 55% through.
DeleteIt's like the country music song: "When you're going through hell, keep on going."
ReplyDeleteTake gentle care in the process, and create new memories too, Bathwater.
Creating new memories is not so easy when you are home alone.
DeleteKilling time. That;'s exactly what we're doing.
ReplyDeleteI cannot afford to kill time at my age :)
Delete