Perspective

 Yesterday, I woke early, despite being up late into the night with Ava. I let her sleep long while I went to the loft to work. The night cold the house without me having to turn on the air conditioner, but the construction crew across from me were making a racket pouring basements. 

When I went back into the bedroom to close the doorwall to dampen some of the sounds, I noticed Ava was awake, checking her phone. "You're not sleeping!" 

I slid back into bed and rolled her over. Ava didn't protest as I started kissing my way down her torso. Things proceeded as usual from there. After, we decide to go for a walk on the path around the nearby municipal building. We took a copy of my book and placed it in the free library along the trail.

The morning sky is overcast. It makes for a pleasant walk. The path is a short trail along the perimeter of our township municipal building. It is not crowded and has some lovely scenery. Ava takes some nature videos while we walk.  

"You don't seem like yourself," I tell Ava. 

Ava mentions being depressed and finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning. She says she is plagued by irrational thoughts of feeling that she doesn't deserve things like success and happiness. It reminded me of one of the last in-person conversations Billie and I had when Billie said she would never be happy.

Thinking about it now, I feel those things are creations of our expectations. Today I am happy. Two years ago, I would have been unhappy in the same place in life. The only thing that has changed is my own perspective.