Tuesday evening, Ava and I went to yoga. The class was half full. I am not sure if it is economics or covid keeping people from returning, but my guess is it is probably a bit of both. Afterward, we stopped at Krogers to pick up some items to make dinner. My kitchen is fully stocked for my needs, but it is devoid of the fresher things Ava prefers though I am getting better at picking those out. Things like mushrooms, which I don't like, tend to have a shorter shelf life and don't get eaten fast enough to keep around.
We sat on the couch after dinner. Ava picked through a container of pomegranate seeds while we talked. Ava wants to move out on her own. I think she would be happier, but she is not willing to make the commitment or sacrifices it would take. She lives in her head, dreaming of possibilities without putting plans in place that would lead her to exactly what she wants. Ava allows the distractions her current life offers to avoid making plans.
It was a good conversation, and I offered some advice. After thinking about what she said further, I will offer up more advice next time we meet. I think she should get an apartment on her own. If she needs help, people (not me) are willing to cosign for her. Ava has good credit but no rental history. She should get a full-time job. This would impede the traveling she has enjoyed lately, but the traveling is just an excuse to get away from home anyway.
Getting her own place would allow her to live life on her terms, and she could start doing the things she says she wants to do. Ava has big plans in her head, but big plans begin with little actions. I am not faulting her, but I don't think she is being offered opportunities to benefit her. There are always strings attached. She doesn't need those strings. She is not struggling to live. Ava struggles to thrive.
Ava is reluctant to live life on her terms, but she will not be happy until she does. When she does, she will make better decisions for herself.
Yeah getting out on your own and living your own life is something everyone should do. I know I was happier when I moved out of my parents place. Doing new things can be scary though.Plus it does take commitment.
ReplyDeleteYes it is scary, but it offers a great deal of freedom also.
DeleteI think it is good to get out on your own and do your own things. I feel like things are getting back to normal. I miss going to yoga though.
ReplyDeleteMy body is not used to doing yoga, I am not letting it stop me though.
DeleteHopefully she listens to you and follows through with your advice, Bathwater. Those first few steps are always the hardest but she will probably be much happier in the long run.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree.
DeleteChange is hard. It's easy to keep doing what one has always done.
ReplyDeleteI am a victim of that also, but I am not in the same position as Ava. I have a home that grounds me.
DeleteThe world is sometime a scare place. I have change coming up called retirement.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on and stay safe
Retirement is something I am not going to do quickly. I am not ready for that change.
DeleteAva wants to move out on her own. She cannot afford to buy a place but she could rent. She probably feels like renting would be a waste of money she is saving to buy a place, but buying a place would be far off for her.
ReplyDeleteYou seem like a tremendous friend. :D My best to you both. And keep up the exercise! I'm getting back to it, my self.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time I would be offering her those same strings attached conditions. I think I have grown. I am getting back into it this week.
DeleteI miss yoga studios. Honestly my sinuses are so bad from allergies here that I don't want to risk going to a studio and getting covid or even a cold for that matter. I don't think anyone who has never lived alone can realize how impactful it is until they just do it.
ReplyDeleteYou should get back to the studio and you nailed it, until you have lived alone you will never feel the freedom it brings.
DeleteFor some people it is always about the 'big plan,' unfortunately that means giving up what is safe, though possibly not too comfortable. Sometimes there's only enough motivation for words.
ReplyDeleteSometimes people just need a little direction. It can be hard to do what you haven't done.
DeleteIndeed it is hard to do what you have never done. Independent living is a big step that a lot who've never experienced of have a lot of fears about... and it is a huge transition from living at Home with Parents, even if not Ideal, it is Familiar and feels Safer. Depending upon her Age, perhaps it's time, perhaps she needs more time, everyone has their Fantasies and Dreams, acting upon them and taking the risks is daunting at times. Not to mention, anyone whose never run a household is usually not prepared for what it will take.
ReplyDelete