Follow-Up

I would like to address questions in the comments in the previous post.

Several people pointed out men can be emotional too. I agree. I am very emotional. It would be a better statement to say that the way the man and the woman approach these arrangements will be different. 

Alexis is a hairstylist. She lives with her 80-year-old mother, her 16-year-old son, and Sam. Alexis worked out of a salon before covid. Now she works out of her house and survives off that income and government assistance. She is trying to get on disability, but Sam questions whether she qualifies (so do I). Alexis' health issues have more to do with a poor diet, lack of exercise, and abuse of alcohol and prescription drugs.

Alexis never plans to live with or consummate this marriage. It is strictly so she can benefit from his healthcare, receive a portion of his pension after he dies, and get the $150,000 in life insurance. The guy is buying someone to care about him. Unfortunately, Alexis will probably care more about him dying than living.

Ava texted me yesterday. She said after our discussion, where I told her she should push for what she wants, the arrangement will be her living alone. It wasn't that way before. He wanted to live with her, which would have made it awkward. This doesn't mean she will have a license to sleep with other guys. The fact that monogamy is an integral part of his arrangement is interesting. Ava says it is because he is old-fashioned. I agree, but not for the reasons she gives for his request. Besides, there is no way Ava will be able to comply with that. She is already scheming ways around it. He could use infidelity against her toward the end of the two-year arrangement. After all, I doubt she will be signing any contracts.

Why do I have a problem with either of these arrangements? Because they are not simple business contracts. A simple business contract is, I will pay you $10, and you will provide me with a widget.

Let's start with Alexis. Her contract sounds simple. I will marry you on paper, and in return, you will put me on your health insurance now, and I will receive a portion of your pension when you die. Thinking about it now, it doesn't make sense, and  I think Alex is leaving out some detail. Perhaps because he is morbidly obese, and she doesn't want to admit to anything sexual. Regardless, there will be all these unspoken expectations-- from the guy. We are married. You need to take care of me when I am sick. You need to go to school functions (he is a teacher). Trips? Sex? Medical bills after his death?

Alexis doesn't have any unspoken expectations, and though she knows the arrangement comes with these implicit strings, she will do her best to avoid them.

Ava's situation is similar. The guy is buying his widgets in bulk and will have his own implicit strings. Ava will do her best to control and minimize these because it is not part of her plan or desire. Ava wants financial stability and to secure her future. The best way to do that is not to be controlled by someone else's expectations that she knows going in she cannot agree to. Heck, Ava doesn't even want to conform to the spoken expectation of monogamy. What happens after the two years, and he wants to continue, but she says no?

I don't have a problem with either woman's decision, although I think Alexis' arrangement is morally objectionable. She should be helping the man seek mental health services, not hoping he will die. "Well, someone should benefit from his death" is not a valid argument, in my opinion. I think I will be saying, "See, I told you so," to both. 

 Ava's arrangement with me is different. We are a simple business contract. We could part ways tomorrow, and neither could say they were cheated or that expectations were not met.

My friend Jay keeps telling me plenty of wealthy widows live in his condo complex in Florida. I could go down there and find myself a similar arrangement. The idea doesn't appeal to me in the slightest.