Thursday, March 3, 2022

Not Far

 I bought  The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck. It is actually an interesting book. It is not earth-shaking with revelations but a gentle and readable reminder of sensible ideas. I am on the last chapter. I bought the audio too and will be listening to it while I drive.

Ava and I went to yoga last night. In typical Ava fashion, she was a few minutes late. The girl burns the candle at both ends. She never has enough time in her day. 

At the end of the night, we were lying in bed naked and spooned together. Soft music was playing, and she opened up a bit about her parents. She said since getting the booster, her mother was peeing blood. The doctors didn't have a good reason. Her mother is still in a lot of pain from injuries in a car accident.

"The only thing I say to my father is, not far," she tells me.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"It doesn't matter whether I'm walking out of the house with my backpack or my suitcase. When he asks where I am going, I say not far, then hit the door running like a kid."

"But you are not a kid."

"But I am."

It was an emotional conversation, and she shed tears as she spoke. A lot goes on with her that doesn't get said. Like all of us, she is a product of her upbringing and still trapped by it in many ways. 

19 comments:

  1. I do like the title of that book. Glad you're getting something out of it.

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    1. Yes, I will be listening to the audio version next.

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  2. Can totally relate. My biological dad had nothing to do with me but his presence was felt for a big chunk of my adulthood. I always wanted his acceptance and chased it for awhile but in the end I learned that life gets so much easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.

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    1. I can relate to what she is going through. There is still a bunch she hides though.

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    1. Let's not fall to hard for her. There is still a lot she hides are lies about which I am sure also has to do with her upbringing, but you cannot treat everyone the same.

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  4. What we experienced as a kid will affect our adult years.

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    1. Yes, it certainly does. Even when we know that it does.

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  5. My middle child works at a library and says that book is quite popular. She loves to share obscene titles!

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  6. I like the sound of that book - let me know how you rate it.

    I hate it when people are late. I think it’s terribly rude, particularly if it’s all the time. That would be me and Ava having a barney. Your time is just as valuable as hers, is it not?

    She’s not a kid but our inner kid always comes out when it’s trigger time! At least she’s started to open up to you a bit which is what you wanted. Now she just needs to stop being late for yoga.

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    1. I would give the book a 4 out of 5. She does open up to me sometimes, but I think she also treats all males like her father to some extent. There is where the lies and the deceit come from.

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  7. Sounds like an interesting read. I feel like I have been burning the candle at both ends as well.

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    1. I'm to old to be burning the candle at both ends anymore.

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  8. I've heard of that book but haven't read it.

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  9. Thank you for sharing the book review and personal stories. Be well~

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  10. It doesn't happen. There is some unspoken trauma there.

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