Truth and Lies

 Ava and I had plans to get together Sunday. She was out visiting a friend in Washington DC. I would pick her up from the airport Sunday night, and Ava would spend the night. Saturday, she texted me saying she needed to push getting together back to Thursday or Friday. She said her mother needed her urgently upon her return.

I made a joke, asking if she was ditching me for some Superbowl party. I double-checked with her on Sunday. Sometimes our communication is cloudy, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't supposed to pick her up and take her home. It didn't ring true when she said her mother was picking her up. "Someone else is picking you up from the airport? Now, I know you are ditching me for something else."

"She likes picking me up from the airport if she is feeling up for it. Stop messing with me. I am trying to enjoy my last minutes in DC. I would never ditch you, btw. Please know that."

We made plans for Friday and for yoga on Tuesday of next week, but I don't think she is telling the truth. I think she was offered the chance to extend her DC trip. She is usually pretty active on Snapchat, and she has been silent since Saturday. Just another thing that adds to my suspicions.

Perhaps she doesn't think so, but I would have been fine if she extended her trip. Disappointed, yes, but I would not be overthinking it. Now I am. One lie can do that. It leaves me questioning everything else she says.

I trust my instincts. They are seldom wrong. I have been with too many liars, and my radar is sensitive. Because of my past, a lie is more triggering than the truth. 

Sam thinks I should confront her. That can be a slippery slope when all I have to go by is my instincts. People caught in a lie often double-down. I would like a level of trust between Ava and me. I don't think that is too. It is something that I feel we have been building. I understand we don't have any written contracts. We are not committed, but spring is coming, and we have an implied level of commitment. If Ava's situation is changing, I can find someone else, but it leaves me in a position I didn't want.

Maybe things will be more evident when we get together Friday, but I don't think so. Ava has never been easy to figure out. My detractors will be quick to say she is playing me. That is usually easier for me to figure out, especially when unfettered by emotional ties. The truth is, you never really know anyone, and people seldom really know themselves.

Who will save your souls?
After all those lies that you told, boy
Now, who will save your souls?
If you won't save your own?... Who Will Save Your Soul, Jewel