Its A Girl, Its Always About A Girl

Firefly is having a girl. I told her it is karma getting back at her for being such a difficult child. I know there is a lot of concern for the baby and her. I share those concerns, but I hope for the best. I think she is making the wrong decision, and I expressed that once to her. Now, I am being optimistic and encouraging to her. She needs some of that.

Whenever I see the boyfriend/father, who is about five years older than her, he seems like a deer in headlights. I have more doubts about him sticking around than I do Firefly. I hope she is mentally prepared to raise the child alone if it comes to that. Those thoughts, I keep to myself.

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I think I am beginning to understand Ava a bit more. Ava is still a tough onion to peel. I have to listen closely. When her guard is down, the off-hand comment reveals more than answers to questions.

She is searching for direction and making up for what she feels is lost time. Sunday after watching an episode of The Magicians and having sex in bed I said, "I don't know if I am slowly 50 shades of greying you, or if you have more experience than you let on."

"You probably have not been with a girl who held on to her virginity as long (as I)," was her reply. I am looking forward to our upcoming trip. I wish it were sooner. It is still seven weeks away. 

Sam thinks it will mark a change in our relationship and I do see the possibility of stretching the boundaries. Ava admits, unasked, that our relationship is a priority to her. That may sound self-obvious, but it hasn't been the approach of Firefly or the Gymnast. I'd say Ava's age and upbringing are the difference. It certainly is not out of need or greed. Ava is the most self-sufficient of the bunch. Time will tell.