Sam, Twin A, and I were having dinner at Green Lantern-- pizza. Twin A asked if I had heard from my brothers. I indicated I had not.
"You don't talk to your brothers?" Sam asked.
"I texted them back on Thanksgiving," I replied.
Sam indicated she argues with her sisters, but they are still close.
My brothers and I have never been close. I used to describe my family as five people who live under the same roof. My parents were the glue that held us connected. When my parents moved to Indiana, that connection frayed. I would get together occasionally with my older brother when Billie and I were together, but for the most part, I just avoided them.
I haven't seen my brothers since we interred my father's ashes. That was almost two years ago now. There is not a strong bond there. I am trying to understand why. I'd blame it on my parents not nurturing a family bond. My dad was an only child. My mother has a sister, and they were close, but not my brothers and me.
I don't find this strange or desire for it to change. It is the recluse in me. I am willing to let certain relationships go. I am more likely to do that as I get older. My close friends are the exception.
I am not close with my brother, but he has (undiagnosed) autism, so it makes it difficult to communicate with him on a normal level. My husband has 4 siblings and only speaks with 2 of them. My MIL died in September, so we may never have to see the other 2 ever again.
ReplyDeleteGood to see I am not the only one.
DeleteThere is a spectrum of sibling relationships. Sounds like you have the distant kind. It's better than rivalry, really. I have a similar relationship with my brother, although it's not as distant as yours sounds.
ReplyDeleteThose who know me are not surprised.
DeleteI have no siblings. But the stings of sibling has always interest me.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on and stay safe
I think it involves childhood trauma.
DeleteInterestingly enough, I had lunch with my cousin on Wednesday, she has 3 brothers, and they never talk. One of her brothers actually lives across the street from her and she told me she hasn't spoken to him in at least 8 months. Me? I text my brother fairly regularly, I'm older liberal and he's a social conservative and I love to give him a difficult time, not nasty, just amusing pokes. I talk to my sister usually every other week. I think it's a societal thing more than a parenting thing. Today extended families include people other than siblings.
ReplyDeleteYes, family is more of who you surround yourself with these days.
DeleteI have 3 half brothers and a half sister that I hardly ever talk to. We weren't raised together and we aren't close.
ReplyDeleteThe brother I was raised with however, we are very close and talk at least a few times a week.
I think my attitude is more prevalent than society likes us to believe.
DeleteFamily dynamics can be complex, whatever works for each Family is okay. I tend to be more reclusive socially in my Senior Years, I feel my relationships with immediate Family and close Friends is good, so I don't need to nurture other relationships that I would prefer to keep less intimate and not within my inner circle.
ReplyDeleteYes, I totally agree.
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