I don't foresee any vacation with Firefly. I don't see her being able or wanting to travel. She is still bouncing from place to place. Mostly avoiding here, because here, she doesn't get away with anything. I am going to have to cut her off. She doesn't seem to want to be clean. She just seems to say what people want to hear. She is very much like Billie at her age. It is triggering for me. I already know how this plays out. It will be better for me just to cut her off. I don't need to deal with the holidays and Firefly also.
I have been pinning my hopes on a vacation in the middle of this pandemic. It doesn't make much sense. I just wanted the chance to get away with someone. I feel like this will be my last chance to make such a road trip. That is why I have been still dealing with Firefly and why I am willing to risk the pandemic. I don't think it is much a risk getting sick. I am pretty sure Firefly caught the virus just before Thanksgiving. She lost her sense of smell and had a fever. She is getting over it. I did not get sick. I believe either I got it back in March from the Gymnast or I am asymptomatic.
I feel like I have spent my whole life wanting more. Maybe I have just spent my life trying to control what happens next. I need to get back to just letting go.
Road Trip might clear the mind.... and I do make the best unstirred Old Fashions in Louisiana
ReplyDeleteI am not sure Louisiana would be one of our stops Tommy. At least not this time.
DeleteLetting go is fine, however, it is a continuous process. I think it gives us strong shoulders that come in quite handy sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI feel like strong shoulders is a consolation prize of life.
DeleteThere seems to be a lot of self reflection in blog land recently x
ReplyDeleteThis time of year really gets to me. I hate it.
DeleteHitting Montana myself once I get done with this install
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a lonely destination. I hope you can enjoy yourself.
Delete