Tuesday, February 25, 2020


"What you need to do is build up your confidence.  I just don't see yet...anybody good coming in (to your life) yet." The psychic said, finishing our session.

  • a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities

 It is easier to attract the bad ones.  I am attempting to at least temporarily, replace The Gymnast, . However the quality of girls I meet is declining.  I met with Maddy Sunday.  She is another girl looking for a mutually beneficial relationship.  Another girl from a broken home without a stable father figure.  She is twenty-three, heavier than I like and less refined but I am hoping she will not be need once the Gymnast returns.

Searching for someone to take care of my needs is frustrating.  Whether it is finding someone for a potential relationship or find someone for the night.  I don't get laid if I am not constantly on the lookout and I still like having sex.

I give Maddy a tour of my condo before we settle on the couch in the living room. Maddy is wearing a worn purple tie-dyed pull over hoodie and black leggings.  Her long curly blond hair is pulled back in a ponytail.  I turn on the big screen over the fireplace but our conversation keeps us from getting drawn into any shows.  She is short on time.  Part of me doesn't mind that.  There is little for us to do even though the February weather is mild and I am not that into her.

After a while, we head up stairs, undress and get under the covers.  She says my body is warm, usual it is the girl that is warmer than me.  I ask her if she is okay.  "Heck yeah," she says.  "You are hot."  All the yoga, weight training and other exercise is good for something.  I thank her for the compliment without giving her one in return.  I find her average and I am not big on false flattery.

It is our first time having sex.  I don't pull out the toys or throw her into multiple positions.  I take it slow and see what she is like.  She gets excited quickly during foreplay, it get me aroused and I enter her.  She cums once and I cum also a few minutes later.

After we are lying bed. She says, "You have a large dick." 

"Really?  I have not had any complaints but I think of myself as average." I reply.

She disagrees.

The Gymnast enjoyed sex with me too.  Both girls are more than half my age, that alone should be a confidence booster.  Still they do not take the place of a meaningful relationship.  Billy didn't care about my physical appearance or my bedroom prows. She was there for me.

Somehow I need to translate the confidence these encounters give me towards meeting someone age appropriate.  Someone I find interesting and attractive.  I have not figured that out yet.  On paper, as they say, I am mediocre.  I person, I am a cut above.  I need to remember that.

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