My tea's gone cold, I wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey..
Thank You, Dido
You hear what you want to when you lesson to a song. Guess I relate more to the thunder and rain behind the lyrics in the Eminem sampling on his song Stan.
I am smiling on the outside but on the inside I am sad. My father's death and my conversations with Billy have left me frantically looking for some human contact. I still want to avoid working on myself and spend too much time seeking a distraction. I am constantly struggling with how I see myself and how the world see me. It doesn't sink in that neither is who I am.
I am wasting too much time on this pursuit and neglecting things I need to be focusing on like work. The only thing I have managed to keep up on is my exercise though it is hard to get out of bed. I am only partially doing the exercising for my health. In part, I am still creating this image of myself I want to the world to see, as if I can control how others see me.
I have to cut this short. I am neglecting work.