I have been learning. Grief is the best motivator to learning about yourself. I have read a few books recently. "Attached. The New Science of Adult Attachment...", "The Untethered Soul", and "Running on Empty". I recommend all three. None of them have all the answers but they are giving me incite into who I am.
I am working toward becoming more mindful. I still have more to learn. I want to release myself from my fears and move beyond grief and pain. The Untethered Soul has opened my eyes to a new way of thinking about things. It short on how to achieve some of the things it teaches but it gives me a starting point.
Billy did not respond to my email yet. I hope she does not see it. I am in a better place today and would not have sent it. One thing that has come to me as I have grown older, life is about learning.
I meditate every morning...still don't know if I will actually enter that monastery or not.
ReplyDeleteRunning On Empty, I LOVE that Jackson Browne song, love its trail at the end
the eternal struggle of whether or not to hit SEND on that text you've been working on a long time to get it just right, I know that all too well. I think generally it's better just to send it cos there's catharsis in that, you can kinda move on from those particular feelings after that, it's like releasing a bird out into the wild. if you don't send it, those feelings return to you all pent-up and bottle you up.
I am glad I sent it. I am also glad she did might not read it. I am trying to become more mindful. Perhaps I am getting old.
DeleteMindfulness can happen at any age. I know I should read Attached, I already know I'm an anxious attacher, but that's also due to a lot of childhood trauma that is going to take a while to overcome. Slowly.
ReplyDeleteHaving an anxious attachment style is not all bad if you are aware of it. Let go of that childhood trauma can move you forward.
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