The Drama Continues

Firefly wrecked her car Thanksgiving Evening.  She rear-ended another car. She managed to drive it to her parent's house, but now it will not start. The damage will cost more than the car is worth. She has moved out of her house and in with a new guy she barely knows.  This guy doesn't have a car, lives with his mother, and is from the NA meetings. She will never learn.

She thinks they will be moving into their own place by the end of the year.  Something tells me that will not happen. I am just sitting back and watching. 

On the plus side, she has been drug testing 3 or 4 times a week (I wonder how long it will be before she gets caught with alcohol in her system), and she still has her job at the restaurant. Not sure how she will get to it, though.

Movie Night

I picked Ava up Friday at 4:00 pm.  We decided it was too cold to see the light display downtown Rochester and saved that for next Friday. Instead, we picked up food on the way and headed back to the condo. We made chocolate chip cookies from a frozen batch we picked up weeks ago and cuddled up on the couch. 

I changed into a pair of sweatpants and offered Ava a pair of comfortable lounge pants of mine she could change into. Ava loved the first Deadpool movie but had not seen the second, so we watched Deadpool Two. I sat up during the movie. Ava placed a square pillow in my lap, rested her head on it, and stretched out before me on the couch. I rubbed her back while we watched the movie, and we ate a few of the cookies.

After the movie, we headed upstairs. Ava is getting comfortable here. She warms up slowly and doesn't take things for granted. The sex is very satisfying for both of us. It is never rushed. We are both giving people and are attentive to the other's needs. 

During our pillow talk, I mentioned that I felt Ava holds back part of herself. She admitted it was true but blamed it on her childhood and upbringing rather than our arrangement. Ava controls her health and what she eats because she feels she cannot afford to be sick. She doesn't allow herself to indulge in what pleases her.

I still find her different, but not in a way that makes me want to stop seeing her. She is free of the drama which usually surrounds the girls I get in evolved with.  That alone makes her worth keeping around.

Lego Weekend

 Firefly went from the medical hospital to the mental hospital. She stayed for a week but checked herself out of the rehab unit on Monday. She has been pretty quiet since.  She ignored my text suggesting we should get a pizza. She did tell me she never received her next Naltrexone shot. Firefly says she is "all smiles" on social media, but we all know social media is anything but an actual mirror. 

Believe
That life can change
That you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same. We're different
Tonight... Tonight Tonight, Smashing Pumpkins

Yesterday, Max came over.  The twins stayed at their mom's house. I made a chicken and noodle dish with biscuits. Max had turkey the day before, so I figured he would not want it again. We watched Edge of Tomorrow (my favorite Tom Cruise movie) and took apart a Lego haunted house I wanted to store. It has been played with and on display for ten years. The rest of the evening, I sorted the pieces and checked the parts against the inventory. Several of the parts were not with the set.

The temperature dropped overnight. Ava and I are supposed to go to Rochester to see the light display downtown. I may suggest we wait until next weekend.  It should be 10 to 15 degrees warmer.  I don't think she minds getting food and staying inside when it is cold.

Lego Spree

 The holiday season is often an excuse for the purchase of Legos. I have bought a Harry Potter set for 50% off and three 1500 piece generic bulk sets that were also 50% off from Walmart.  The bulk sets are a great deal.  Less than 2 cents a brick. This is the way Lego enthusiasts calculate the economics of a set. 

I also bought Minifigures (knights) and specific bricks (mostly small round dots) from resellers. It is easier to buy these from resalers in bulk in the colors I want for my recent build. My collection may be excessive, but I figure if it makes me happy, it is no different than a boat, a vacation house, or other adult toys. It is also less expensive and maintains some of its value.

Tower Update

 This weekend I worked on my Lego tower. I started by rebuilding the tower to improve the structure's strength and reduce the number of pieces. I removed fifty to seventy-five pieces while keeping it the same height-- I think. 

I closed the gap in the large windows, added red flowers to the ivy, and figured out a way to quickly attach the top to the base (after I dropped the top and had to rebuild that). I created an island base to mount the structure on, and now I will work on a bridge going from the island to the mainland. 

These pictures were taken before I implemented the new system for mounting the top to the base. You can see it is tilted in one image.  That doesn't happen anymore. A rectangle in the bottom fits into a slot in the top.

Slow progress, but my typical building style involves several rebuilds until I am satisfied

Stay

 This seemed like a long week on repeat. So much so, Wednesday morning, I searched the house and garage for my Yeti coffee cup. I was positive that I brought it home the night before, like always. I had an image of walking in with it in my mind, but it was nowhere to be found. When I got to work, it was sitting on my desk. Wake up, work, repeat.

Back in the summer, I told Max he should start looking for a new car to replace his 1998 Dodge Dakota. The truck is beginning to show its age. The engine still runs well, but the body is falling apart. After procrastinating for months, his breakup has motivated him to find something newer. I offered to buy him a decent car, so he wouldn't need to worry about a car payment. Yesterday he found a reasonable Chevy Cruze on Carvana, and I picked it up for him. Now, he needs to sell his truck to recoup some of my cost, and I need to transfer the new vehicle into his name once it arrives.

Ava came over Friday night. We went to eat at a fast-food restaurant that specializes in fresh, healthy food. It was actually delicious. The girl tries to maintain a very healthy lifestyle, right down to her wood handle toothbrush and fluoride-free toothpaste she left behind. My initial instinct is to laugh at these extreme differences, but I think I should start embracing some of these ideas instead of resisting them. It doesn't hurt to be environmentally friendly when the choice doesn't adversely affect me.

She led me upstairs once we returned home. I am unsure if she was anxious to get under the covers or on a timetable. 

"I want you inside me," she tells me once I roll over on top of her and remove her clothing. 

I pause from kissing her firm breast. "It would be easier for me to take you seriously if you text me saying you cannot wait for me to bend you over the bed again instead of calling it fun time."

"That isn't me. I'd be worried about how you'd take it."

"Well, my ego would appreciate it-- if that is what you are thinking," I reply. "Perhaps I am too easy and need to make you beg more."

"Now that I know, I text you. Heck, I'll send a video saying it."

Ava doesn't beg. I am already hard and ready to go. What the sex lacks in passion, she makes up for in enthusiasm. The girl wears me out, but she is more than willing to do her fair share of the work. She doesn't seem rushed when we are having sex. I am sweating by the time I climax.

She seems to enjoy the sex as much as I do. Still, something is missing. It is not love. I am not looking for that with her. The only word I find that describes it is passion. Ava seems to thrive through controlling herself and her environment. She holds back and is afraid to lose control over the person she portrays to the world.

Perhaps, this is all I can except from Ava in this type of arrangement. I am just not sure, but I tend to trust my instincts. Either way, I am looking forward to exploring it further next time we meet. 

This morning I woke from a bad dream about Billie. A rehashing of the past that left me maudlin and slow to rise. A subconscious search for this missing passion in the form of a dream.

Billie enters my thoughts less often, but she is always present in the recesses of my mind. Sometimes I wonder if it is the same for her or if she has forgotten me. Does my name appear in her head each time a silver and black Jeep passes her on the road the way it does for me when I see a silver Ford Focus?

Always one foot in the past.

And you say

I only hear what I want to
I don't listen hard
I don't pay attention
To the distance
That you're running or to
Anyone anywhere
I don't understand if you really care
I'm only hearing negative, no no no, bad

So I, I turned the radio on,
I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song
Lovers in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
And some of us hover when we weep
For the other who was dying

Since the day they were born...Stay (I Miss You), Lisa Loeb

Airport Run

 I picked up Ava from the Detroit Metro Airport Monday afternoon. She was on a spiritual retreat in Jacksonville, Florida, for her birthday. Her plane was on time, and we headed off toward the freeway.  Ava asked if I could stop at a juice bar on the way home.

"Actually, I thought we could eat at Fishbones downtown. They have sushi, and I could go for some jambalaya," I said.

"That sounds even better."

"Good, it's already plugged into the GPS."

It was a twenty-minute ride downtown. We parked in the Greektown Casino parking garage and walked the two blocks to Fishbones. This was Ava's first time at Fishbones. She gives off the impression she gets out a lot, but I don't think that is the case in reality. I think she cannot afford to do much traveling and only gets the opportunity through relationships.

I am still trying it figure Ava out. I like talking with her. We have several things in common. She is reserved, and her abusive relationship with her father has driven her to maintain a very healthy lifestyle. I think it stems from a need to control some aspect of her life.

She sends texts like: "Thinking of you. Sending you good vibes & looking forward to our 6 pm dinner & playtime this Friday!"

It is hard for me to take someone who says "fun time" instead of sex as being genuine. I'd be more comfortable if Ava said, looking forward to you bending me over the bed again, but perhaps that is just my ego talking.

I'm debating taking her to Key West for New Year. Not sure if she would be interested or if I'd rather wait until March when the prices are more reasonable.