Still

So I guess the fortune teller's right.
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins, and now
I don't care. I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There are just so many things
That I can't touch, I'm torn...Torn, Natalie Imbruglia

Saturday afternoon, I drove out to Novi to pick up Tinkerbell and her boyfriend. We didn't plan a bike ride. The weather report was sketchy. We meet up with Teach and one of their other friends at The Landing Strip Lounge. A different strip club in Romulus. Both Tink and Billie spent time dancing at The Landing Strip. It is smaller than Flight Club. I never spent much time there. 

Tink and her boyfriend knew the manager, the DJ, and one of the bartenders. We had a few drinks. There was one dancer out of about eight that I thought was attractive. I talked to her briefly while she was on stage but didn't end up spending any time with her. The rest of the day shift crew I didn't find interesting.

I've decided I like going to strip clubs by myself. Being a part of a group off in the corner does not help you meet any of the dancers. Walking out spending only $20 was nice, though.

We didn't stay at the strip club for long. We went to an Italian restaurant for dinner. The food was delicious, and I eat more than I wanted, undoing all the work I put in during the week losing weight.  After dinner, Tink wanted us to join Teach at Flight Club. I didn't want to go. I think Tink was trying to get me out more than out of any desire to go. I appreciate her efforts, but I was not in the mood. I knew it was not what I wanted to do.

These places stir up the desire to so Billie. A fixation I cannot shake lately even though I know the reality of such a meeting would not be anything like the fiction, both good and bad my mind has conjured. With Firefly away, I've been lonely. Yet, I don't have much of a desire to put in the effort needed to remedy the situation. I feel like when the government money dries up in September, prospects will be better.

We got caught in a downpour on the drive home. When it rains here, it pours lately.  I know other places around the globe are experiencing flooding issues too. Ours is limited. The Gladiator has no issues with standing water.  

Here comes the rain again,

Falling from the stars

Drenched in my pain again

Becoming who we are

As my memory rests

But never forgets what I lost.

Wake me up when September ends...Wake Me Up When September Ends, Green Day