AT&T Sucks

I switched my internet and wireless service from AT&T to Xfinity. I should save $960 the first year and about $600 a year for the remaining four years. Sounds worth the hassle, right?

Not so fast.

I tried to unlock my phone so I could move it to Xfinity.

“This account has a past-due balance.”

It doesn’t. I bought my phone outright in 2024 specifically so I could move it whenever I felt like it.

So far, I have gone to the AT&T store where I bought it—twice—and spoken with numerous AT&T agents by phone and online. At least two assured me the problem was fixed.

It wasn’t.

And don’t get me started on AT&T’s automated AI. It understands only basic commands and won’t let you speak to a human unless you lie to it or become more stubborn than the machine. The agents who can’t fix the problem either make another promise or send you back to a phone number answered by the same useless AI.

This has gone on for four days. I finally filed complaints with the FCC and AT&T Legal. To say I’m frustrated would be an understatement.

Now I’m left waiting for someone to fix it.

I’ve cooled off for the moment—enough to write this post and remember the good old days of customer support.

The following conversation probably wouldn’t happen today. But there was at least a human being on the other end of the phone.

Talk

Originally posted October 28, 2005 (excerpt)

By the time we got back to Jay’s house, it was already after 9:30 p.m. I called customer support to get the modem registered to his account. I got Alison, a friendly support person from Ottawa. I think she was new. She couldn’t get whatever she needed to do to work. She needed to call her manager over.

While we waited, I started reading her the Maxim magazine article I was flipping through, “100 Things You Need to Know About Women.”

Me: “Okay, here’s one. #34: The average woman owns eight bras and wears each one five times before washing.”

Alison: “That sounds about right, but I don’t know about the five times.”

Me: “#19: The more piercings she has, the more places she’ll let you put it.”

Alison: “I only have one piercing. What’s the next one?”

Me: “Okayyyy. #23: Every woman is self-conscious about her ass.”

Alison: “No comment.”

Me: “Oops, I think I hit a sensitive spot.”

Alison: “I didn’t say that.”

Me: “#16: Chicks aren’t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.”

Alison: “I can’t talk about that one—these conversations are recorded.”

Unfortunately, Jay’s cheap cell phone disconnected at that point. When I got customer service back on my phone, a guy took the call and hooked up internet access in minutes, but it wasn’t as fun.

Alison couldn’t fix the problem, but she was allowed to be a person. The next representative fixed it in minutes. Twenty-one years later, AT&T’s artificial intelligence has managed to eliminate both the conversation and the solution.