Alone

 I like waking up in the morning when it is still dark outside. It feels different than going to bed when it is dark. It feels like I still have time in bed. The reality is usually a different story. Still, I don't feel like getting out of bed lately.

Twin A wants to spend the weekend. He doesn't usually stay the whole time and asks to go home early. I don't like having company. I am happy in my isolation. Having Ava stop over a few times a month is enough socialization for me. I think it is the changing of the seasons. 

Besides, I am a hot mess right now. I chipped a tooth and will need a root canal. I will hold off on this until the new year, depending on the results of the MRI on my shoulder. My back is bothering me, and my stomach issues are returning. My stomach is not as painful as it was around the time of my father's passing. They never did find anything wrong. I concluded it was stress related. Now, like then, though, I don't feel stressed. Just off.

I have thrown myself into building with the Legos. I am striving to create something impressive, and things keep changing as my thoughts switch directions. I want the results to be detailed and spectacular. I don't care about the overall size of the display. As always, the lack of pieces in the right color holds me back. I think another trip it the used Lego store will be in order come November.

A lack of socializing leads to a lack of interesting posts. I was delving through the achieves the other day but didn't pull anything out. Rereading my encounters with the Gymnast. That girl was a handful. They all seem to be fading into memoirs.

This desire to be alone feels odd. I am unsure if it is natural or a symptom of a different type of depression. I seem to be carrying over into work and with my friend. I just feel like being left alone.