Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm climbing in the trees...Record Player, Daisy the Great and ARJ
Tryin' to convince myself I'm alive
Sometimes I think all I'm ever doin' is
Tryin' to convince myself I'm climbing in the trees...Record Player, Daisy the Great and ARJ
This morning, I drove to work. I didn't realize I was more than a half-hour early until I pulled into the empty parking lot. To say I am distracted would be an understatement. I have been thinking about the future. The things I've read and seen paint a bleak picture. I've started reading The Menu: Life Without The Opposite Sex by Aaron Clarey. The beginning reinforces what I already know. I am hoping the end provides some appealing paths.
I have always felt stuck between generations. I was born the last year of the baby boomers, but I don't fit into that crowd in many ways. My friends like Jay, who does fit, don't seem to have a better direction, just more financial security while they sit around watching Netflix and checking the market.
This malaise has been an undercurrent of many posts lately. Today I am left finding it hard to move forward because I don't have a direction. I am in the boat I've created, paddling against the stream. I don't have the strength to paddle forward or the courage to turn and navigate the rapids behind me. Today a reason to give up my efforts and allow the boat to hit the rocks is appealing.
I'm sorry to hear you're straggling (paddling). I think I can relate (I do not want to count the n. of posts titled Lost, or Stranded, or anything of the kind I have written over the last 12 years).
ReplyDeleteI no longer think that having a goal or plans really helps either - it's more about managing to be happy while following the stream direction perhaps - and of course this may prove the hardest thing to achieve
You are right Lucy, having a goal doesn't always help. Perhaps it is enough to be comfortable with whom we are. I don't really know. There was a time when just surviving occupied our time. Now, that is not the case. Thriving is the struggle.
DeleteI get angry at what I think might happen and try in my own little way to effect some change, but I don't really worry. Everything is in flux, that's difficult for some because they want stability. Stability is a concept that is constantly changing.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I am looking too much outside of myself for my happiness and not looking deep enough inside.
DeleteWell, perhaps being on the cusp of Gen X makes you an honorary Gen X. If that helps...
ReplyDeleteAstrologically speaking, right now is a lot. Planets are lined up in such a way as to make it rough on all of us. Plus, Mercury is retrograde, which messes up communications. I only mention this because a lot of people are feeling out of sorts lately. It's not just you. There's a general malaise in the air.
I'm not sure if that's good news or bad news. I'd say curl up, find what gives you comfort, and don't push right now. Just be. This will pass. It may not seem like it right now, but I promise it will.
Thanks for the kind words. I agree, it will pass. I am interested in what the psychic will say this Friday.
DeleteI'm also at end baby boomers. Not try to sound like I'm self center. But I think I'm young at heart.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on and stay safe
The problem is we all think we are young at heart until we start hanging out with younger people and realize we don't have the same issues they do.
DeleteGen X here, barely, i was almost a Millennial. oh i love that song "Record Player" by Daisy The Great, it mentions Monterey where i'm from. i highly recommend Hemingway's Men Without Women, a brilliant collection of his short stories. they even did a Lupin III episode of "The Killers".
ReplyDeleteThe words to that sound have a great deal of depth.
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