Sunday about 11:00 in the morning a get an unknown call. "Are you Firefly's stepfather?"
"Um, why what is going on with her?"
"She was in a car accident. It was pretty bad."
I get directions from the woman, apparently the mother of the young driver Firefly rear ended, and head out of the house. The accident occurred in Roseville. A twenty-five minute ride from the house. The Saturn Vue still ran but the front end was demolished. It looked like she did not even try to stop. She said she was fixing her mirror. The car she hit was an older Jeep compose with a tire on the back. It had damage but still ran fine.
I took Firefly home. She had no phone or overnight bag in her car. Apparently she was arguing with the boyfriend and walked out without them. Firefly has a sprained wrist and her left leg is bruised. she spent the next three days in bed.
Ironically the boyfriend got pulled over an hour after the crash. They searched his car and found drugs. He spent two days in jail. His car was impounded and Firefly's phone, which was in his car, is now no where to be found.
Yesterday after a long talk with this boyfriend, Firefly checked herself into a local rehab. When I suggested she go into a day program she said she didn't need too. She is going there today. She is not telling me what she was on, or what she did. She claims she doesn't remember. I tell her she has a selective memory. If I had to guess, she was probably using Xanax or crack.
Firefly hasn't been talking to me much since she spoke with the boyfriend. Probably because his mother called me looking for him when he was in jail. She was going through his call log and saw my number because Firefly was trying to get her phone from him. This boyfriend lives on his own with roommates but apparently the mother keeps close tabs on him. I told the mother everything the two were up too. Firefly and him both sell drugs. He allows her to smoke crack. I told the mom, Firefly is not girlfriend material right now. This boyfriend is a recovering addict. How quickly she is dragging him down.
Firefly knew this guy only three weeks before we went on vacation. She has been around him less time than what we spent on our trip and she was practically glued to him before we left. I think he told her she had to go to rehab if she wanted to continue dating him. I cannot wait to see how that works out.
Regardless she is going back to rehab and I do not have to deal with her...for now.
Maybe its time to complete a purge.. . its been my realization over the years that the addict's way of life only ends with jail time, no where to stay, life on the street, or death, only when they completely change people, places, and things do they accomplish sobriety in some form or fashion.
ReplyDeleteShe seems to be addicted to one thing or another. Right now she is addicted to this new boy. She changes people. From one addict to another.
DeleteI don't envy you with this. My oldest son was an addict, and it nearly destroyed me trying to deal with it. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Unlike your son. Firefly is not my family. I do feel some responsibility for her but I do not have that strong connection. I don't need to save her.
Deletei am so sorry to hear all this. i'm praying Firefly gets in that rehab makes a successful go of it and comes out clean and sober, may 2021 be a healing time for all of us
ReplyDeleteSee did not need to go to rehab. It was all another game of avoidance.
DeleteDoes this mean I should congratulate you?
ReplyDeleteNope it was all a ruse.
DeleteYour life should be on Netflix.
ReplyDeleteI really think it is better suited for HBO. I think it would make a series. A cross between Californication and Weeds.
DeleteAddiction is tragic and causes much collateral damage. I agree with Jules, this could be on Netflix!
ReplyDeleteShe has straightened up for the time being.
DeleteGlad to hear that for her sake... and probably yours while she's still present in your Life. The Son is presently in Rehab, for the time being he's straightened up too, but will it take? The Prodigal Daughter was on Meth for over 25 Years and only in recent Years, nearing 40, gave it up for what is now an extended period, I've raised her Two Oldest Children and the Grandma in Mexico is raising her Three Youngest Children. She will always have the Serious Mental Illness, so I knew it was a form of self medicating, the Schizophrenia and Borderline Personality Disorder can be a significant Torment and Hand Dealt in Life to Cope with Clean or Sober. The Son being Bipolar and Autistic also self-medicates and says the Alcohol is harder to give up than the Drugs {Fentanyl}. It causes so much Heartache to Love someone Addicted... I sense in some Deep way you are a Rescuer of people who you see something in beyond their Lifestyles, you don't HAVE to Rescue them, and often you just can't, but I doubt you don't Care about them, whatever the 'Arrangement' is that you've agreed to mutually. I kind of bristled when people told you to find a Real Woman... these ARE REAL people, I know what they meant of coarse, for your sake and for lasting healthy relationships and boundaries... but I HATE when anyone tries to Dehumanize any Human Being and diminish their Value by judging what they are or who they are.
DeleteYes they are real people and often need a break more than others. I will put up with behavior in a twenty-year old that I will not in a forty or fifty year old. I think the older people should know better.
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