Friday, June 26, 2020

A Firefly

There is a third girl I meet on Seeking Arrangement (SA).  I have not spoken about her up until now and when I tell you about her you will know why. Firefly, as I will call her, is a petite red head.  She has a cute little figure that girls only have when they are young.  Firefly has this childlike energy about her, that I feed upon.  She reminds me so much of Billy, I think the Psychic had them confused, when she said, "I don't see her ever going away (perhaps she meant it metaphorically).

Firefly has the same bad habit as Billy.  She is an addict.  I saw the signs right away.  "After you told me about your ex, I know I wasn't going to be able to hide it from you", she said to me early on.

I told here, "I've been down this road before.  I am not getting sucked down it again."

"I understand." She replies, sheepishly but a mischievous grin never leaves her face. Sex with Firefly is fun and exciting.  There is something about her I find very attractive.  It is more than her superficial similarities to Billy.

We spent a lot of time together last month, she was struggling to get by and waiting for an opening in rehab facility.  I don't understand my appeal to these young girls.  It goes beyond the financial. I see it in the way they hang out with me.  I see it in their reluctance to leave.  I see it in Firefly, and I see it in Bunny.  The mutually beneficial nature of the relationship keeps things easier to understand. I don't want to fall in love.  I just want someone to have fun with.

 "If you don't get in soon, I am cutting you off," I told Firefly.  She waited over a week for an opening.  Then on a Sunday, unexpectedly, she got the call from the rehab facility and she was gone.  I expected to get a text from Firefly telling me she bailed from the place a day or two later but it never came.  Quitting opiods is not easy.  You have to want it.

Yesterday she reappeared.  It has been ten days.  She looks healthier.  She is transferring from the short term facility and into a long term program. She will only be out for a week. The long term program will last anywhere from thirty days to a year.  It is something I wish Billy would have done.  Firefly is only twenty.  She does not have that hollow look to her face that comes from years of drug use.  That look was taking over Billy's pretty face..

 "Take your time.  There is nothing going on out here," I say, waving my hand about indicating this virus plagued world.  She gives me a hug before leaving through the garage.  "I am proud of you," I tell her as she retreats into the night.



12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, I think she is doing okay with this. We will see.

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  2. Sometimes rehab works. It all depends upon the person.

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    1. You are right. Unlike Billy, I think Firefly wants to quit. Only time will really tell.

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  3. is there a rehab from work?
    right now smoking weed seems to be the only thing that helps

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    1. You need to give yourself a break. No one should die saying I did a great job at a mediocre job.

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  4. I wish her good luck and hope it helps.

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    1. It only helps those that want the help. Firefly seems to want to straight her life around instead of getting deeper in it.

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  5. As with you, I have Nicholas..... An Apple in any Man's Life.. but a lil bit tainted for Society ...

    I hope FireFly will gain the sobriety if she wishes.. ... There is always Hope...

    Hang in there Mr. Man.....

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    Replies
    1. One in five make it out. I like those odds.

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  6. Good luck to her in outpatient rehab, she is young and has her whole life ahead of her. Do you think that as far as your attraction or the appeal that you and firefly (as well as Billie) have is more that you like to be depended on? I'm not sure that is considered codependency, maybe, since the term does cover a lot of grey area. You feel this pull to Firefly, but I don't think you have the same thing with the Gymnast, she does her own thing and has her own life and doesn't need anything from you (other than your arrangement. An interesting observation I guess.

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    1. I am not sure what it is about Firefly. She reminds me of Billy. She is a lot of fun and she is getting attached to me. I am not sure The Gymnast was as attached she was looking for something else.

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