The weekends allow me to stay in bed until thoughts of Billy drive me out. I reduced the amount of CBD oil I am taking. Tinkerbell said I was taking too much. My morning sadness is better. I don't find myself pacing the condo in tears.
This morning Billy was on my mind. What if she does get clean? What if she is happy? Was I holding her back? Sometimes I don't want her to be happy because I am not happy. I tell people I did not like everything about our relationship, but I did like being with Billy.
Long ago when The Ex (wife) and I were looking for houses the realtor told us, "I am just going to give you the listings. Drive by the houses. If you don't like the outside there is no use in me showing you the inside. You have to come home to the house every day. If you don't like the outside you will never be happy." Billy was a house I could come home to every day.
Still no luck on the dating apps. The only one where I get any interest is a app called seeking. It is for prostitutes and girls looking for sugar daddies. Good to see money can still buy you happiness for the night.
What's CBD oil? Seems like I've heard someone else talk about it. Sorry you're feeling down. Hopefully today will be better. One step at a time. Thanks for the visit, glad you got a chuckle out of Bill hiding in the Bushes.
ReplyDeleteCBD oil comes from marijuana it is the mellow side of the plant. It is supposed to mellow you out.
DeleteIt's painfully difficult to get over a lost love. Be gentle with yourself and keep looking forward to a better day.
ReplyDeleteRobyn thanks, I am sure better days will be ahead. They always are it just takes time.
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