At least trying to date sucks. I have never had good luck with it. Even with a positive attitude and all these new apps I don't seem to connect. If I have to read, "Living life to the fullest," in one more profile, I am going to fucking go off on the bitch.
I miss Billy's a lot today. It is probably because Sam and I went out to eat last night and drank a few beers. Sam said Billy and my age difference 28 years was the number problem in our relationship. The reason it would never work. Then you pile the addiction and her other issues on top of that.
I don't like to believe that. I cannot make myself younger. I wish I could. If I was forty and not fifty-five, Billy would still be with me. That is what hurts the most. It is not who I am or how good we got along. The reason we are no long together comes down to a number I cannot change.
Meanwhile I am trying to date. I am trying to keep an open mind. On the dating sites, woman from forty-five to fifty-five in the Detroit area who are physically active and somewhat fit are scares. Those who find me attractive are even fewer. I am fit, attractive and make good money. What does someone have to do.
From now on when ever I see an attractive, age appropriate woman I am going to ask them if the are seeing anyone. The time to be settle is over. I can see you have to grab an opportunity and get their number first thing.
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