Conversations

Gia and I are still texting daily. Mostly, she just replies to mine, but she always responds.

Bathwater: Happy New Year. Did you make any resolutions?

Gia: Nope. You?

Bathwater: To stop wasting time and to see you again. I am going to need your help on the second one. :).

Gia: Okay! I am just home right now. I need a little break from being on the road.

It is hard to keep things from fading. The distance and her avoidant nature are daunting, but I don't want to give up on her, and she hasn't given me a reason to give up. Still, there is little hope of connecting.

Give me a reason.
To end this discussion
To break with tradition
To fold and divide
'Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes
Talking with strangers, waiting in line
I'm through with these pills that make me sit still
Are you feeling fine?
(Yes, I feel just fine)
Tell me that you're alright
"Yeah, everything is alright."
Oh, please tell me that you're alright
"Yeah, everything is alright"... Everything Is Alright, Motion City Soundtrack.

Happy New Year

It's a new day
But it all feels old
It's a good life
That's what I'm told
But everything, it all just feels the same

I am back to work. I didn't miss it. I was falling into a pretty good routine. I could embrace retirement. I built three Lego models while I was on vacation. All in the last week. I would spend up to eight hours daily just listening to podcasts, building and sorting. My Lego table is a jumble of parts when I am building.

You already saw the Treehouse. I like that one. I have put it away for this year's show. Here are the two others. The first is a companion piece for the Treehouse.

The second was an experiment. I was trying a new way to make a round tower. It worked out well.

Now, I have fifty- five emails to sift through and respond to.  So the year begins.

This is the anthem.

Throw all your hands up.

Y'all got to feel me

Sing if you're with me...The Anthem, Good Charlotte

Tree House

 I have completed a new Lego project for those who have been asking. I spent a few days sorting Legos and cleaning the area before starting on a Forestmen Tree House. The build went straightforward. There were only a few redoes during the project. I started with the base and tree from the Lego treehouse, making it taller and more to my liking. I took some images of the work in progress this time.

The Lego Treehouse looks like this. It has playability in mind, and the interiors of each building are decorated. Mine are not.  

The Beginning

Making the Tree Taller and the first attempt at a structure

I wanted to attach two structures with a rope bridge.

It wasn't working out.

I tried connecting two structures by a rope bridge in the tree, but it was not working. I abandoned that idea and made two separate structures in the tree. After two more attempts, the final project looks like this.

I am happy with the colors and the final results. Each level has a door for imagined access. The structures don't look too heavy for the tree, and the model is sturdy. I can carry it with one hand, although it is very heavy. It looks more impressive in-person. The pictures do not do it justice.

Dinner

 Our weather has been rainy and mild. No complaints from me. Sam and I went to dinner Saturday night. We went to Green Lantern because we lacked any other choice. The place was not busy. Most people were celebrating the holiday season with family.

Sam was in an argumentative mood. No matter what topic I introduced, she had something negative to say. Sam would consider me no fun when we hang out, but I feed off the other's energy. We had a fantastic time laughing and joking when Gia and I were together. Despite Gia's walls, she is a joy to be around. Sam is too bitter and tired from working.

Sam wanted to shop at the outdoor mall after dinner, but I declined. I could not take more of her negativity. I am going to dinner with Sam and her sisters tonight. I hope she is in a better mood. Luckily, the place is close to my condo, and I will drive separately. 

Speaking of Gia, she and I are still texting back and forth regularly. Just playful interactions and gifs. I intend to keep the conversation going for as long as she allows. Absence may make the heart grow fonder.

Tempus Fugit

I have ignored the holiday spirit this year. Christmas holds nothing positive for me except an extended vacation from the stresses of work. My time with Gia didn't help. We had so much fun together. It leaves me wishing I could find someone similar.

I gave the twins their presents yesterday. They spent the night, and I took them back to their duplex and helped Twin B set up the TV I purchased for him. Max is coming over today. I made plans with Sam to go to dinner with her and her family on Saturday and have plans to take the twins to see my brothers the day after Christmas. I am not looking forward to any of it.

So, the year is winding down with a sputter. 2024 is a daunting number. Tempus Fugit. 

What we lost here is something better left alone
Second steps been forgotten, will you tell me how they go
Set yourself, situate, like a fool try again
There's no one around you can remember being good, for you so...Shame, Matchbox 20

End Of Year Snapshot

 In homage to Sarah H. at Death Wears Diamond Jewelry, who is no longer blogging but is missed.

Listening… Podcasts like Morbid (true crime and ghost stories). Find Your Alpha (YouTube channel that reads stories of infidelity).

Reading… Nothing currently on my reading list. 

Watching…I am rewatching Gilmore Girls on Netflix. I like the show and its quick dialogue. It has many seasons, so I don't have to find anything soon.

Playing … I have been playing Wordscapes on my phone. 

Hoping… I am replacing Eva (who didn't work out) with Gia, who may work out. I am hoping to spend more time with Gia.

Buying… Christmas presents for the boys. They are all I shop for.

Loving... I only have to come into the office 5 more times this year. I need a break.

Planning…  I have several Lego sets to build over the Holiday break.

Missing… My pseudo-fourth child, Tinkerbell, she has been distancing herself lately.

The Past, Shimmer

 It was Tinkerbell's birthday on Saturday. I texted her the day before asking if she had special plans and didn't get a reply. I didn't hear from her, so I didn't bother texting her on Saturday. Tink has been distancing herself from me for a while. I am not sure why. Anyone who read my book will note this is not the first time. I can only guess at the reason. 

Tinkerbell is a lot like me in that respect. She cuts everyone out eventually. I wouldn't be surprised if she shows up again without explanation sometime in the future. Years ago, this would bother me more than it does today. I don't care anymore. I lack the energy.

Excerpt:

Shimmer Originally Published, April 3, 2009

 "When you are all happily ever after," I start. "You better not forget about me."

"I haven't so far, have I?" She replies-- but that is not an answer. I know she will have to let me go. I cannot play the same part in her life.

As I drive home, I can't keep from wondering: Who will need me now?

We're here and now, but will we ever be again?
Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade
Away again

It's too far away for me to hold, too far away

It's too far away for me to hold Its too far away... Guess I'll let it go-- Shimmer, Fuel