Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do as prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do as prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?
I've been downhearted baby
I've been down-
I've been downhearted baby
Ever since the day we met
Ever since the day we met...
Firefly is still living with me but she is back together with a different boyfriend. She spends most nights out with him. This is just what girls do. One in the hand and one in the pocket. At first, it was easy pretend everything was normal when she first moved in but now it is like reliving the past. A past that has been drifting to close to my consciousness these past few days.
We are suppose to be go out to dinner tonight. Firefly has a little black dress she has been dying to wear out. I don't feel much like doing it. The virus makes going out a hassle.
Billie sent me an email at 6:00 am this morning, "Happy birthday, hope you have a great year." I am not sure what to make of it. One in the hand, one in the pocket. It is the third time in ten days she has reached out to me. I did not acknowledge her birthday two days ago or reply to her previous email concerning the cable guy.
So many things I would ask, "Why are you having a great year?" "Why do you care still feeling guilty or how you ended things and trying to ease your conscience?" "Are you having second thoughts?" "Fuck you." Something kind is not amongst them. Indifference is the best I can muster.
I don't believe we are meant to go through life alone, but most of us do. It is just another part of the struggle to live.
I've been downhearted baby
I've been down-
I've been downhearted baby
Ever since the day we met
Ever since the day we met...Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money in My Hand, Primitive Radio Gods
I've been down-
I've been downhearted baby
Ever since the day we met
Ever since the day we met...Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money in My Hand, Primitive Radio Gods
happy birthday, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI love that Primitive Radio Gods music video so much, my headcanon is the man in the leather jacket singing is Jim Carrey or The Edge if he fronted U2 instead of Bono.
this year doesn't count for all of us, 2020 is a redshirt year for the globe, here's to a brighter 2021 tomorrow...
Thank you, I love this song because it tells a sutle story.
DeleteHappy Birthday!
ReplyDeleteDon't let anyone take advantage of you. You're worth more. Look after you.
Those last words, "hope you have a great year" seem so empty and vacant to me.
DeleteHappy Birthday. I hope you have a good day.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mary.
DeleteYou are correct ....Sir.... "most of us do".... its seems that way... "alone".. but in most incidents ... Not Without... for some of the time... that is.
ReplyDeletebtw.... Yes Happy B Day.... how's that white beast of yours with those orange hooks. or those red hooks... its a classy beast for sure.
Those are orange hooks. It is all decked out in orange accents. It is great. Going alone is boring but it seems having someone else around can be frustrating.
DeleteI know a few couples who are going through life alone, being in a relationship is just their way of denying it.
ReplyDeleteI have seen that too. I'd rather not be one of those.
DeleteHappy birthday Bath
ReplyDeletewish you all the best
Thanks, Lucy.
DeleteHappy belated birthday! I see you bought yourself the truck you were contemplating earlier in the year, I hope you got a great deal.
ReplyDeleteBillie is just keeping her strings attached. Is she a sentimental person? IDK, I think after a 5 year relationship, it take a lot of time for both parties to move on, even if they are with someone else.
I would like to not go through life alone, but jeez, the pickin's out here are not good. I'm not sure there is anything out there for me at this point, well, at least this week. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.
It will never be easy, Billie was a good match for me. I will not find her equal because I will never be in that space again.
DeleteHappy birthday! Is it possible that after so much contact with you, and taking you for granted it seems, that Billie is not sure how to react to you not contacting her and is now basically seeking your attention in a way because that is what she is used to?
ReplyDeleteI don't know, perhaps is cannot fathom me not replying to her. She is thinking there must be thinking something is wrong when in reality, I just don't see a reason to reply.
ReplyDelete