Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Billy. Another Wrong Turn

Bathwater: Dad is on hospice at his assisted living facility.   He is very weak.  No one knows for sure but I would guess a week or two.  I know you would want to know.

Billy: I am sorry to hear that.  I have been going through a lot myself.

Bathwater:  Are you okay? I am always concerned for you.  You can always reach out to me.  After all we have been through together I would hate to lose touch.

Billy:  No I'm not okay..  I'm still using and I got pregnant. Going through the abortion process now..I'm just lost. Everything I wanted came too fast.. now its gone.

Bathwater: I am so sorry Billy.  You always have my ear and my love.  You can email me or call me.  I will listen.

Billy did not share anymore information.  Initially I was surprised but looking back when ever we were not together Billy tended to get in trouble or do stupid things.  Even when we were together some drama would happen, usually at the worst time.  Without me propping her up it will just continue to happen.  She hasn't changed.

Do you think she is starting to regret choosing to leave me?  I miss what we had but I can see now it was a dead end for me.  What does she see?

I invited Billy to my father's memorial but she said she had to work and could not make it.  My friends think that is for the best.  I would like to see her.  She where she is at inside her head.  An abortion is not an easy decision for any woman but to want the baby and be unable to have it because of your own drug addiction is going to be hard for her to handle. 

The only difference that I see
Is you are exactly the same as you used to be.  The Difference, The Wallflowers

6 comments:

  1. Billy: Another Wrong Turn, that could be the title of Billy Corgan's autobiography

    The Wallflowers The Difference! I loved that song. I must have seen that music video a billion times! I miss when VH1 was still a thing

    here's hoping it all works out between you and Billy. I've redated exes before cos I find they end up knowing more about me than anybody else so they can call me out on stuff I do subconsciously that I'm not even aware of

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  2. Phoenix Billy is living with the new guy now. That didn't take long. There is nothing to work out but those years together feel meaningless now.

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  3. Replies
    1. John thank you. I feel my writing suffered when I to a break from blogging. I am just starting to get back to what I consider decent.

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  4. Drugs never lead to positive change.
    Sorry for your hurt, but I do believe it's for the best that you're not together now.

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  5. Robyn you are right and I am not looking to get back with her. I did hope we could be friends but sadly, I don't think that is even possible. Now I know why she never had any friends only family. family sticks around no matter how many times you fuck them over.

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