Coping

 I went out with Ava several times but never picked up where we left off. Despite what Ava says, I don't think she has broken up with her boyfriend. She has it in her mind, but he doesn't think so. This is all from my casual observations. At one point, Ava suggested she would need more to come over but could only stay for an hour. I told her that wouldn't work for me. Something tells me I haven't seen the last of her though.

What have I been doing?  Like half the men in their 20s, I have been glued to my tablet playing an online game. The game is called LastWar and it is raking in billions. You can download it from your phone, but I don't suggest it :). I spend nights on Discord chatting with members of my alliance and trying to grow my squads.

I have been secluding myself away from others by choice. I went out last month with Jay, Sam, and Alexis to celebrate our collective birthdays, but for the most part, I haven't even been spending time with them. It just doesn't bring me joy. The only ones I see regularly are Max and the twins.

Gia and I text regularly. She is happy in Tampa again, and far enough away from the coast to have weathered both Hurricanes unscathed. About once a month we get on Zoom so I can see her gorgeous smile. We are planning a Zoom call on Thanksgiving.

I received a drunk call from Tinkerbell late Friday night. She was walking home from the bar. I think her boyfriend Tech doesn't approve of our relationship. I don't blame him. While I consider it more of a father/daughter type bond at this point, I can see how it can be intimidating. Tink wanted me to know that T-Rex is doing good. He is away, at Central Michigan University now. 

I think Tinkerbell is sacrificing her happiness for the T-Rex's future. "Don't ever think, I don't love," Tinkerbell stated more than once. "You are my Luke." This is a reference to a character on the show Gilmore Girls. "Lorelai ended up marrying Luke." I assured her that wouldn't happen with us.

Tink's unhappiness was palatable. More from what she wouldn't talk about than what she did. I do miss her. I miss the days when we would talk for hours on the phone. This conversation just leaves me perplexed.

Are we all just trapped in unhappy lives? Some of us just coping better than others.

Six Decades

 My birthday was last Wednesday. I started defining my age as six decades old. It sounds cleaner than the years. I took three days off for my birthday. On the first day, I cleaned out many scrap auto parts and took them to the scrap yard. On the second day, I rode my bike on the Orchard Trail. 

The twins moved into a new condo on my birthday. Coincidence? Maybe, but given that TheEx filed for divorce on my birthday, I doubt it. Their condo is lovely—nicer than mine. Hopefully, they will take care of it. It is one of those condo complexes entirely of ranch units that old people like. The units are spaced nicely, and the complex is suitable for walking. I have been encouraging them to do that.

On Saturday, Ava and I went to an art fair in Ferndale. I really like this art fair. It attracts artists I can relate to. I bought two prints from Cheryl Baker. Her stuff is terrific. 

This One 

This One

I was unsure where to put them, but I couldn't resist. I wanted the whole series.

Ava enjoyed the show. Like me, she is an amateur artist. We still haven't picked up where we left off. Ava is putting it off. However, we are hanging out, and she wants to continue. I ended up going back to the art show with Sam on Sunday. I didn't want to tell her Ava, and I went Saturday. Sam likes to look at the jewelry. Ava was more enjoyable. She enjoys the artwork, and everything is new for her. 

Flappers and Ava Returns

Sam and I went to a wedding on Saturday. The bride is a mutual friend. The bride and groom are both in their fifties. The groom is about a 4 in looks. The bride is a 6 or 7, but the groom is loaded. They rented out the Emerald Theatre in Mt. Clemens for the wedding. It was a 1920s-inspired wedding, and the Emerald is a restored theatre that opened in 1921. The whole affair must have cost big bucks.

I took some pictures, but my phone broke, and I lost them all that night. Which brings me to Sunday. The screen on my Galaxy Flip broke, locking me out of the phone. I lost all my apps, some of my contacts, and all the pictures I took that day. I spent Sunday getting a new phone and reloading the apps.

I loaded Snapchat back. I wasn't going to. I never used the app, but I did, and I ran through the selections quickly. About an hour later, I received a snap from Ava. I haven't seen or heard from Ava since her boyfriend caught her, and she ghosted me back last February. We met up in Rochester that evening for a walk and dinner.

Ava is the same. She is still a covert narcissist who can't hold down a job or a relationship, but she is fun and wants to pick up where we left off, including trips. I am differently interested. Ava was good in bed and had fun on the road. 

Snapshot of August

In homage to Sarah H. at Death Wears Diamond Jewelry, who is no longer blogging but is missed.

Listening…Podcasts, my latest is Something You Should Know.

Reading…No new books

Watching…I have been watching the SyFy channel series Battlestar Galactica since 2004. I have given up on new shows.

Playing … I have been playing Last War on my phone. It is very intense. You must join an alliance, get on Discord, and spend money.

Building... I built an 18-wheel Lego delivery truck from a kit. It is a nice build.

Buying… I bought an Android tablet... to play Last War.

Loving... Too few things these days.

Planning… I would like to go to the Michigan Renaissance Festival. Sam didn't want to go last weekend.

Missing… Someone to do things with.

Three Updates

 Tuesday night, Tinkerbell sent me some images of T-Rex moving into his college dorm at CMU. How time flies. I still remember T-Rex as the child from my book. I didn't respond to Tinkerbell. As much as I love her, she seems to only reach out when she needs. She will ignore me otherwise. That is not the type of relationship I deserve from her. 

I saw the Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist yesterday. Medicine is such a joke. Fifty percent of the time, they are just guessing. I have gone from a person who avoids medications to walking around with five. Two are in case I have an episode of vertigo (they don't stop it), one antibiotic ( for twenty-one days), a steroid (for six days), and a diuretic (duration tbd).

None of the pills cure my issue. They are not sure if they will even help my situation. These are the least evasive solutions. Here is a nifty video on the disease. I need to search for my own solutions, too.

Firefly update. Firefly is now the mother of a second baby girl. It's so amazing how some people change. I haven't contacted her lately, but I am glad she is married and has two kids. Hopefully, the future will continue to be bright.

Half Post

I sometimes wonder if my lack of posts is related to my need to explore my thoughts and feelings more deeply. It could be because Grammarly edits everything I write and makes it better than the original. I saw Brit two weeks in a row, but I've ghosted her this week. I am just not feeling it with her. It's strange, too, because she is one of the hottest girls I have had an arrangement with, and she wants to continue. I just don't feel any connection with her. I felt more connected to Ava, and she ghosted me without reason. I don't know what that means.

I am still isolating myself. I have to make an effort to reach out and connect, but the isolation seems like a natural progression of who I have always been. I am getting together for dinner with Jay and his wife this Friday, but last weekend, when Sam didn't call to suggest doing something, I felt a bit relieved.

I am not using this alone time to build anything, though. I have been focused on a game on my phone, getting my steps, and eating. Like the Sixth Sense, we only see what we want to see.

Inner Ear Problems Return

"Someone help me." It was the phrase repeated over and over throughout the day by the elderly woman with dementia in the room down the hall from me while I was in the hospital Monday/Tuesday. Why was I in the hospital? Good question.

Monday afternoon, while at work, I started feeling dizzy and nauseous. It felt like being drunk and having the spins. This is the third episode I have had over the last three months. I thought the first two were from food poisoning, but there was no way this third episode was related to food.

Within an hour, I go from perfectly fine to having vertigo and puking uncontrollably. I am unable to function. The episodes last anywhere from 4 to 12 hours.

One of my coworkers took me to the ER. The Emergency Room was busy, but they jumped me to the front of the line because they were afraid I was having a stroke. That wasn't the case. It seems my Meniere's Disease is getting worse. Although they haven't said that yet. I still need to go in for an MRI and see the specialist.

In the meantime, they gave me pills to take if I start getting dizzy and pills to take if I start getting nauseous. Which is very different from giving you a pill to keep you from getting dizzy or nauseous. I am going through the motions of taking the test and seeing the doctors, but I doubt they will have a definitive solution. They didn't before.