Canned Reply

I've noticed lately that everywhere I communicate, I'm offered canned responses to use--emails, text messages, and even Teams. Pretty soon, there will be no need for me to reply or even be on the other end of the conversation. It will just be bots talking back and forth, and they will keep on talking long after I am gone. It feels like another example of taking the human out of the equation.

My emails have little sub-headers like this:

Start your reply with:  Great, thank you so much! Great, thanks for the update. Perfect, thank you!

I am going to start keeping an eye out for people using them. It's the kind of canned response I would get from Billie if I sent her that letter...I've decided I will not.

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Sienna, my cat, has become an ankle biter. Whenever I am pacing around the house, which is usually when I refill my tea, she nips at my heels for attention. She likes me being home, and I haven't been home much lately.

Temperatures are rising slowly here. Ava and I missed a lovely weekend of weather here in Michigan last week, but we had better weather in Kentucky. This weekend we may hit 70 degrees before things start going lower again.

Leave your canned message in the comments, and have a great weekend.

Charisma Exercise

A book Ava and I listened to on the trip to Kentucky was on charisma. It is called Charisma Myth. One exercise in the book is to write a letter to someone that has wronged you in the past. There are several reasons for this: letting go of the past, stopping its effect on you, and closure. After writing the letter, you write the person's response. By constructing the reply, you create a reality that can be as effective as an actual interaction in changing how you feel about the event.  What follows is a letter from myself to Billie and my written reply from her.

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Billie

How are you? It has been a while since we spoke. I have thought of you often over the past few years. At first, it was every day, but now sometimes days will pass without something reminding me of you. Sometimes I wonder if it is the same for you, but I'm not sure if I want to know. I have come to understand why you left. Still, the way it happened hurt me. I deserved better from you. 

When we were together, I was willing to compromise parts of myself for the relationship. Probably too much of myself, but I would not be who I am today if we never met, and I do not look back on our time together with regret. It still seems strange that we seldom reach out to each other, but those times we do never seem natural anymore. There are people I don't mind losing touch with, but you will never be one of them. I like to think that we are still friends.

I have met several women over the past two years, but I am not expecting to find a relationship. I am not willing to compromise. Frankly, I haven't seen anyone worth considering.

I have accomplished several things and hope to accomplish many more. I've traveled to places we never could and plan on going to more. I am happy most days and making the best of my life. Deep down, I am the same person, but I would like to think you would also recognize my changes if we were to meet. It has taken me a long time to get to this place, and I still have a long way to go, but I see my path more clearly now.

I genuinely hope you are happy. I hope you are healthy and have kicked your habit. More than anything, I wish that for you. I hope you think of me fondly when a silver Jeep passes you on the road or when you hear a particular song on the radio the way I do you. I fear you probably want to forget the past, but I hope you can remember there were good times there.

Sincerely

Bathwater

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Bath

I am good, work is still a struggle some days, but I have not stopped learning. You know I am sorry I hurt you. It is something I never intended to do. I didn't leave because of you. There are still things I need to do. I am still trying to figure myself out.

I never will forget you. I probably would not be alive today if it wasn't for you, and that is something I will never forget. 

I am glad you are happy and doing the things you've always wanted to do. I am sorry I could not give you that. Yes, I often wonder how you and the boys are doing. You will always be my friend, and you can always reach out to me.

It is a struggle, but I am clean. I would like to think you could see the changes in me and be proud. They wouldn't be possible without you. We are planning to get married and want to have children. I hope you find someone. You are a good person and don't deserve to be alone. Don't shut out that possibility.

 I can never repay you, but I want to thank you for all you did for me. 

Billie

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I am mauling over the idea of sending my letter to Billie. I don't think she would send a similar reply. I believe she feels many of the things I've expressed, but she would lack the ability to articulate them. I don't think I am looking for closure. This isn't a door I am willing to close in the strict sense of the word. 

Kentucky Trip- Days Three and Four

We parked up our belongings a day early on day three. The B & B was perfect for exploring the area, but we picked a hotel closer to Louisville for our last night to give us more privacy and visit a horse farm on our final day, but before Louisville, we spent the day in Bowling Green.

We wanted to experience a cave in Bowling Green. It was on our agenda since day one. It is a boat tour, but the water was too high the first to days for us to explore it. Ava dressed in matching shorts and a top with a flower pattern. We stopped at a rock shop where Ava purchased several large rocks. Each weighed over a pound. I told Ava she could get what she wanted as long as she could carry them all to the cash register.

We went horseback riding at a nearby stable and headed for Bowling Green. The Lost River boat tour is located in Bowling Green and has a couple miles of trails for hiking on the property. We walked the trails taking pictures while waiting for our tour to begin. Ava nibbly traversed fallen trees and muddy creek beds to get her perfect shots. I was not as eloquent and ended up in the mud once. I kept telling her I would be there to document when SHE got dirty, but it didn't happen.

The final cave tour was by boat. It was a short ride, but you need to duck your head for the first five feet of the ride to avoid the ceiling. Even leaning over in the boat only provided inches of clearance. 

It was another beautiful day. Temperatures were in the eighties. I rewarded myself with ice cream from Dairy Queen, something she is determined to get me to avoid. Ava opted for a salmon and kale salad and a healthy smoothie, though she was tempted to get ice cream. We still ate both inside Dairy Queen. No one minded. It was dark when we made it to the hotel outside Louisville.

Ava is a perfect travel partner. She never complains, and she pulls her own weight by helping with the navigation and selection of audiobooks. Monday, when I was in the office, I sent her a text.

Bathwater: You are an excellent navigator/ adventuring partner. Together I think we can travel almost anywhere and not have a bad time.

Ava: You read my mind. I was about to say the same thing. Yes, I had a wonderful time, as always. Thank you.

We had one more day of adventures before we returned. The following day, we woke early. I watched Ava choke down a grapefruit on the side of the bed-- because, well, she doesn't enjoy the taste, but it is healthy for you. I decided to forgo the grapefruit for an orange and a breakfast bar.

Ava wanted to check out a nearby outlet mall. Shopping is one of her weaknesses. Ava has a hard time avoiding a perceived deal. She had never been to an Outlet mall, and while the nearest one back home is deserted, this one had a variety of active stores. I bought myself two pairs of pants in the hour we had while Ava bought herself pants, a blanket, and two small backpacks.

Our last stop was another horse farm. This one had several horses, all roaming freely. Ava enjoyed the experience because she loves horses, but I have to say this one was not the safest. One rider actually fell during the ride, though she was okay. They took us for a two-hour ride through unmanicured trails and through a stream at one point. I am comfortable riding, but this was not my favorite experience. 

The ride back took us around Louisville along winding country roads. I preferred this to the city's traffic, and we linked back to our regular freeway outside of Cinnianti. We are acquainted with the drive now. It has become second nature for us to stop at familiar rest stops along the route.

Part of me was sad our trip had ended, but I was also ready to get back to the comforts of home. Ava and I decided to go to Hawaii the first week in November. It seems fitting, neither of us has been there, it is a week before her 30th birthday, and it will also mark one year ago that we met. 

Kentucky Trip- Day Two

 The following day, we set out to do more cave exploring. We didn't have a set plan, but we stopped. Ava is interested in crystals and rocks, so we stopped at a rock shop and toured Onyx Cave. It is a small cave found when the nearby stables and amusement decided to expand their parking lot in the 1970s.

From Onyx Cave, we traveled to the town of Horse Cave, a few miles away. Horse Cave has a cave in the center of town with a wide opening and three major domes. The cave is sixty feet below the town.

"I wonder what happens when they flush the toilets," I asked Ava, looking down into the sinkhole at the entrance. Indeed, on the tour, we found out that Horse Cave was once the worst-smelling town in Kentucky. Apparently, locals did not realize what they were doing by polluting their source of fresh water with waste.

Entrance To The Cave In Horse City

We spent a little time in Horse Cave, then heading back toward Mammoth Park, we saw a sign for Diamond Cave. Naturally, we pulled off and decided to see what we could see. There is a lodge built on top of Diamond Cave. You actually enter the cave from a gate in the entranceway that looks like it leads to a cellar.  It is incredible how close to buildings these caves can be. Diamond Cave has some pretty stalagmites and formations, but it also shows signs of damage from what we learned were cave wars back in the forties when local establishments were destroying the completion to gain more of the tourist trade.

Ava In Diamond Cave

From Diamond Cave, we stopped back at the B & B to change. The temperatures in the caves are from fifty-five to sixty degrees. Outside, it was sunny and eighty degrees. We loaded up the bikes, water, and snacks and headed back to Mammoth Park. We took a ferry across the Green River, which cut through the park's center, and rode some trails on our bikes.

It was a nice ride but not as scenic as the hiking we took the first day. On the way back to the B & B, the GPS took us up a two-track gravel road in the park. In several spots, it was only wide enough for one vehicle. Ava was a bit nervous, but I assured her the path was nothing the Gladiator couldn't handle. At one point, she saw an owl in the trees and made me stop and back up so she could get a picture. She stood up from her seat and took a video of the owl flying overhead through the Jeep's open top.

It was a long day, with hundreds of stairs, thousands of steps, and an eight-mile bike ride through hilly trails. When we arrived back at the B & B the sun was down and we were the only people there. We ate dinner in the room. A combination of pizza I picked up for myself and the groceries we packed for her. We cuddled in bed and Ava stoically held back her usually passionate screams. I slept soundly through the night without even remembering falling asleep.

Kentucky Trip- Day One

We packed our bags, the cooler, snacks, and the bikes and left the Detroit metro area early Wednesday morning. The weather warmed the further south we traveled. Our destination was seven hours away. We ate in downtown Cincinnati near the college. The area was packed with students. Parallel parking the Gladiator with a four-foot-long bike rack sticking off the back was challenging, but we had no issues.

We made it to the Bed & Breakfast by 5:30 pm. I was expecting the Dragon Fly Inn from Gilmore Girls, but we were in Kentucky. Our B & B was a large house on a sloped section of land close to Mammoth Park.  They had plenty of seating, a gazebo, and a fire pit outside the home. The owners live on the premises and have three or four rooms in the place they rent and a cabin.  The owners are friendly, and the wife made a fantastic breakfast each morning with plenty of options for Ava to eat. 

After driving around the area, I don't think there was a better place to stay. Each room had its own bathroom. The only downside to staying there was Ava could not be as vocal during sex in the evening, but we worked around it. 

On the first day, we drove into Mammoth Park. The park is vast, with plenty of hiking and bike trails. You don't need to pay to get into the park only if you want to take any cave tours. They have several. We booked a two-hour tour and spent the time we had before the tour hiking the trails near the main cave entrance.

This was one of my favorite days. Ava seems to love it all as long as we are outdoors. She took pictures everywhere. She is good at capturing the beauty in the little things we often overlook. Most of my photos are of her taking pictures. I had her take a few pictures of me, but there is only so much one can do to make me look good.

The Artist In Action

Hiking in Mammoth Park

Mammoth's main cave tour does not have as much interesting rock formations. It is primarily a wide-open space. Thankfully, that was not the only cave we visited.  We toured five in total throughout the trip. 

Entrance To Mammoth Cave

After the park, we grabbed something to eat in Bowling Green and returned to the B & B later in the evening. We don't have much downtime when we are on vacation. We don't spend nights watching TV or on our phones. One of us usually has something planned, but there is always time to switch things up or add locations.

 

Snow, In April

 It snowed yesterday. Nothing stuck to the roads, but there was an inch on the ground when it was done. I am so sick of this winter weather. Thankfully, we will be in 70-degree temperatures when we are in Kentucky. Despite my preparation, I don't feel like I am ready to leave. Work is piling up, and I cannot seem to get ahead, but I will forget about everything once we are on the road.

Max's car is in the shop again. They cannot seem to solve the problem. It is the third time we have taken it back. Otherwise, nothing to report. Hopefully, I will have several days of posts when I return.

Three-day Weekend

 It was a busy three-day weekend.  The weather was still cold and dreary, but I expect to have some good days this week for our trip to Kentucky.  Friday, I went to have Alexis cut my hair, and I removed and installed screens in their new windows. 

After I left, her sister's boss called. Alexis' older sister is an alcoholic and goes through binge cycles where she doesn't eat and only drinks. Alexis' sister is not healthy on a good day. She only weighs ninety pounds. The sister passed out at work, and Alexis was forced to pick her up and get her to the ER. She was a mess. I didn't learn all this until Sunday, but I am getting ahead of the story.

Saturday, Ava and I went to Whole Foods to stock up on snacks for our upcoming road trip this week. After grocery shopping, we stopped and had lunch at one of the small restaurants near the grocery. We decided to extend the day by going to the gym, so we swung by her place to pick up her gym bag and then headed for my condo to unload the snacks.  We ended up going to the gym location closer to my house. It is a nicer location than where she usually goes.

Ava did some time on the stair machine (her favorite) and the sauna, while I used the weight machines that my gym at work lacks. We didn't stay long, but the gym is next to an outdoor mall, so we also walked around there. Though cold, the sun was out earlier in the day, but the sun was behind clouds when we got to the outdoor mall. We didn't end up staying long. 

Ava picked up two items at Buckle. A bright red spaghetti strip bra-let and a rose color crop-top with lacy details around the neck and shoulders. She doesn't think she has the body to wear them, but I continuously assure her she does. She will say, one day, when I am in shape. She is young and in shape now. It gets harder the older you get, so she shouldn't wait.

Sunday, I got the bikes ready for our trip. I pulled the spare bike off the stand in the basement and replaced the training tire with a road wheel. I added a phone and water bottle holder to the orange bike and moved the accessory rack because the seat will be too low for it if Ava is riding the silver bike. I am almost set for the road trip to Mammouth Caves National Park.

My two bikes

I had Easter dinner over at Alexis' house. There were five of us, including Sam and me. After, we went to Alexis' sister's work to pick up her car and take it back to her house. The sister is still in the hospital detoxing. Sam and I made a quick trip to Meijer to pick up a part for a broken toilet, and Alexis cleaned up and took care of the sister's cats.