Mixed Bag

 I've started packing bags. The Gladiator is washed, although I don't think it will stay clean with the weather we are getting for the next two days. I am updating my playlist and investigating stops along the route. I am overkilling my preparations, but it is better to be prepared. I have a feeling Ava will be more last-minute in her preparations.

I have been getting hair bumps from shaving lately. The only culprit I can point to in this change is the soap Ava gave me. I am not sure why that would be, but I haven't changed anything else. So that is annoying.

March dragged on with little change in the weather. I hope April is better. I don't plan to take my computer on the trip, but I think I will take my tablet just encase I decide to take notes along the way. Work is piling up, but I hope to have a better attitude after a few days away.

I was moody last week when I wrote the post Weak, but that has passed. Perhaps it is all part of letting go of the past. I am content, maybe a little bored, and looking forward to Spring. 

I have been editing Dave's book and reading a few by David Gemmell, searching for inspiration for my own. Gemmel was a great writer of heroic fantasy. I was sad when he passed. 

Winter Returns

Winter returned over the weekend, disregarding the date and bringing snow Saturday and Sunday. We received enough snow during the night to cover the ground Saturday morning and Sunday I took Twin A to lunch through snow squalls that limited visibility but didn't add any accumulation.  We will have cooler temperatures on the road trip than I hoped. Still, I am looking at getting away.

This week will be busy leading up to our departure. When I was a boy, my mother would have to clean the entire house before we left on any trip. She would be in a dark mood that would not lift until we were on the road. It dampened the excitement. My two brothers and I would make ourselves scarce while she cleaned to avoid her wrath.

I did not inherit her pretravel moods, but I did clean the condo this weekend. I want to clean the Gladiator inside and out before we leave, but the weather will be cold and rainy the next few days. 

I am working from home the first three days this week, so that will give me a few extra hours to finalize the trip by picking out a few places of interest along the route. I will be going to yoga on Wednesday instead of Tuesday this week, and I have a massage scheduled for Thursday evening. 

I took Ava to the River Crab Friday night. She enjoyed the food and the view. She was particularly interested in the driftwood floating down the river. Thinking of ways to harvest it for free and make some craft projects out of it. 

"So if we go to the sand dunes on Lake Michigan this summer are we going to be filling the back of the truck with driftwood?" I asked her.

Ava plans on spending the night Thursday, so we can get an early start the next morning. So we will be spending four nights and four days together. It is our first trip and I am anxious to see how it will go.

Weak

One of the last things I said to Billie was agonizing comes from not making a decision. Things become easier once you make the decision. Right or wrong, you make a choice, and you are no longer polarized. She doubted my wisdom, but it's true. Knowing this doesn't solve my problem.

But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?
Boy, oh boy, I love it when I fall for that
I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?
Boy, oh boy, I love ya when I fall for that
I'm weak...Weak, AJR

Billie consistently appears in my dreams. Wednesday night, I dreamed I was rescuing  Billie from rehab. Like most of my dreams, things turned sideways, and she was missing as much as she appeared.

I have unresolved issues leftover from our relationship. My feelings are conflicting. I know our time has passed, but yesterday Billie weighed heavy on my mind. I don't talk about it much anymore. It doesn't resolve anything, and no one wants to listen.

I wrote a version of this yesterday but didn't post it. I've distilled my thoughts down to one simple truth, I miss Billie. I probably always will.

Blah

It is a quiet week. I worked from home Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night, I went to the 7:00 pm Basic Class for yoga. I prefer the Wednesday class at 5:30 pm. The regulars that come to the Tuesday night class are talkative and loud prior to the start. It makes it hard to get relaxed. Ava prefers the later start time. Even though she didn't join me this week, I didn't bother switching. I will next week if Ava doesn't join me.

The newlywed bride is trimming my hair Thursday. I'm sure Alexis will have plenty to tell me. My hair isn't that long. Usually, I'd wait a week, but I feel like I will be busy next week, and I want to look nice for the Tennesse trip.

Ava and I are going to dinner Friday. I haven't asked her any questions concerning the arrangement she is thinking about entering. All she's told me so far is, thanks to my advice, she would be living alone if she accepted it. I'm pretty sure Ava will. Whether she will still be able to see me regularly, if she does is yet to be seen. I should start looking for a new girl, but I haven't been in the mood.

I've been on other dating apps lately and had a few conversations, but I haven't been interested in anyone who has been interested in me. I just fade after a few text exchanges. The Detroit metro area is abysmal for dating.

My road trip is only is ten days away. The forecast is not predicting warm weather, but I don't care. I just want to get away for a few days. This is the first time Ava and I have traveled together. I'm curious how she will be on the road and on the trip in general.

After

It was close to ten. Most of the wedding guests had left the restaurant. The staff was cleaning up, mostly ignoring the few of us that remained. I joined the best man and one of his friends sitting alone at the bar in conversation.

The best man wanted to ask our waitress for her number. He is a young kid, barely old enough to drink. "How should I do it?" He asks me. 

"Look, you are tall, good-looking. Just ask her if she would like to hang out sometime and ask for her number. What do you have to lose? The worst thing that can happen is she will say no."

She didn't say no, and they exchanged numbers.

Alexis had her mind set on going to a bar to dance after the wedding. Sam and I wanted to go home. She was drunk, and I was tried, but Alexis was offended when we wanted to call it a night, so we acquiesced. 

I drove the newlyweds. They were in no shape to drive, but I had maintained my designated driver status through the evening. We went to a microbrewery a few miles away in downtown St. Clair. The bar was not crowded, and the patrons were primarily young hipsters.

Six of us went to the bar from the wedding, the bride and groom, the groom's sister and her husband, Sam, and me. Sam and a stuffed dollars into the electronic jukebox and picked out songs, but the staff remotely turned down the music as we made our choices. They didn't want the outsiders getting rowdy.

No one danced, and the conversation revolved around childhood memories. The others have known each other since childhood, so I had little to add to the discussion. I'm not much of a social person and tend to grow silent in a crowd. It is something I should probably work on. I prefer one on one conversations.

Sam and I stayed for an hour then left the newlyweds in the hands of the other couple who were also staying the night at the motel. We discussed the evening on the ride home. Sam mostly downplayed the consequences that would later stem from the marriage. 

I forgot to ask Sam about her own relationship issues. During dinner, Alexis indicated that Sam went back to the guy she dropped after being stood up on New Year for one evening. Sam insisted her feelings had changed and she wouldn't be dating him. I noted Sam posted a selfie of her and me on Instagram where this guy would see it. He initially reached out to her on Instagram. It is one of only two photos she's ever posted.

Sam may say she is over him, but the move was calculated nonetheless. Alexis told me Sam spent an evening looking over the guy's Facebook account from her phone. Sam doesn't have her own Facebook account. This had something to do with her decision.

The Wedding

 Saturday, I laid around most of the morning before making myself lunch and getting on the computer. I typed out my latest post and worked on edits to Dave R's new book. Outside it was raining and gloomy. I couldn't shake the urge to write. Editing motivates me to work on my own stories.

I pulled on a black pair of work pants and ironed a casual blue button-down shirt for the wedding. Alexis said the groom was wearing jeans, so I didn't feel the need to overdress. I wanted to wash the Gladiator before picking up Sam and Alexis, but the rain drowned that idea.

I picked up Sam at her house. She wore black slacks and a black jacket over a white lowcut top that showed plenty of cleavage. Alexis was already at the venue. As soon as we got into the truck, Sam described how someone the groom told spread the news to others in  Alexis' social circle. 

The ceremony had not happened yet, and it was already public news amongst Alexis' friends that she was keeping it secret from. Who knows why she wanted it to be hidden. Probably because she is doing it for the money. Perhaps she was afraid someone would talk the groom out of it.

The wedding was held at The River Crab, an upscale restaurant on the shore of the St. Clair river. The groom purchased two rooms at the attached Blue Water Inn motel, and a few of the guests did also. The St. Clair river narrows at this location. Canada can be seen just a few yards away. The St. Clair River joins Lake Huron to Lake St. Clair, which leads to the Detroit River. People come out to eat and watch the freighters go by in the summer.  

The rain continued throughout the day and into the night. Sam and I met up with Alexis in her room while the groom was getting ready three doors down. Alexis was visibly nervous, and both women were already pre-drinking. Sam showed me the groom's ring. It was a simple silver band, but it was huge. I slid it over my thumb with room to spare. 

Before the ceremony, the officiator came to our room to have the bride, groom, and witnesses sign the marriage license. I offered to get the groom. I refrained from asking if he was ready to sign his life away and instead opted to just say he needed to sign the license.

The bride wore black slacks over a white top. She showed me a pair of white lace underwear when Sam and I arrived. There was a small round electronic music device attached to the front. When you squeezed it, Here Comes The Bride played. "I found these in my underwear draw last night," She told me excitedly. "I haven't seen them in thirty years, and it still works."

 The groom wore a blue sports coat over a blue tee-shirt and grey jeans. The groom carries most of his weight in his ample stomach, but he doesn't look like he is ready to check out anytime soon. He's a deep-voiced gregarious man. Who is outwardly funny and flirtatious, but from all accounts lonely and disturbed.

Neither the groom nor bride are tall, and both are overweight, but if you met them, you would think they make a good pairing.

The ceremony and dinner occurred in a room off the main dining area with a beautiful river view. The ceremony was quick. Just the words you expect to hear at a wedding. The groom briefly spoke after. Sam and I sat with the bride and groom at a small round table, and the twenty other guests, all from the groom's side, sat down from us.

A few things were obvious. The groom and guest took the wedding as more than just a convenient arrangement. It was hard to tell what the bride was thinking. If the guests felt it was strange that the bride did not invite any of her friends to the wedding outside of Sam and me, only the groom's sister mentioned it, and I think she knew more about the true nature of the wedding. 

The groom painted it as childhood sweethearts who have finally come back together. I find that hard to accept because Monday, they will go back to living separate lives in separate houses with no plans of moving in together.

It just reinforces the idea that I will never get married again. Sam jokingly asked, "You wouldn't consider marrying me, Bathwater?" 

"Sam, I'll admit you are on my exceptions list." 

She was by far the prettiest woman there that evening, and I found myself staring at her cleavage more than once. Though she is a good and loyal friend, she is not in love with me, and I am in love with a different ideal.

We Are All Characters In Someone's Story

 I was once accused of making things up on my blog. I don't. I'm silent when things are boring. Even Billie never accused me of lying, although she seldom liked what she read. Though everything is written from my point of view and that undoubtedly colors the tail, this is true of many good stories.

Once, while sitting on the couch, I asked Ava, "haven't you ever visited someone in jail?" She looked at me, shocked at the thought. Four people on my Cast of Characters page have been to jail at least once. A fifth is no longer on the page but was featured in twenty-one posts. Can you guess who they all are?

I visited three of them while they were in jail, if you include the video chats with Firefly, bailed out one, and picked up two of them when they were released.

Before you ask, I have never been arrested or charged with any crimes. That makes me sound shadier than I am, but honestly, haven't we all done something against the law? If you haven't done anything-- anything at all-- then my Cast of Characters would seem interesting.

I will reveal the four and what got them arrested after the wedding post if you are interested. My life has definitely been the road less traveled since the divorce. Perhaps that is why I'm where I'm at today. I wouldn't go back and change things, though.

I hesitate to list my crimes here, but most are in my memoir anyway, and in most cases, I was a reluctant accessory. I was about to include one story that did not make the blog or the memoir, but there are some things that others would rather forget. Even though I was involved, it isn't necessary or beneficial to reveal them for a post. I will say, no one died, thankfully.

I've seen many sides of the human experience. I feel like it has given me greater empathy for what others experience.