Rings

 Max is working for a fire/water damage restoration company. He's been there for two weeks now. He says it is going well. Max thinks things are going well now that he and his girlfriend are both working again. he wants to propose to her in the next five months and get married next year.

He showed me the engagement ring he wants to buy. It costs $5600. I'm not sure if she picked it. He is buying it one line. It is the most expensive ring on the site.

He doesn't have $5600. He doesn't qualify to finance it either. Max wants me to finance it and have him pay me back. I could. I could just pay for it and have him pay me back, BUT I think this is a ridiculous idea.

Why would you want to strap yourself with a $200 payment for more than two years when you can't afford to live without your mother's support? When you haven't even considered the cost of a wedding. When you don't have a good track record with jobs.

I would rather give Max $10,000 for a down payment on a house than to help him finance a $5600 ring. She is not the person to walk around with $5600 on her finger. A person who walks around with that much money on her finger can afford to lose it.

If he wants to get married, I'm not going to talk him out of it (I think it is a bad idea). I'm not going to support being financially irresponsible, though.

Violet

 Gia is back in Detroit. Yes, I have been keeping loose tabs on her. She was in Tampa for a while, then she disappeared. I think she was in Rhode Island for a bit, and now she is showing up back in Detroit. No, I am not looking to rekindle anything with her. I understand she isn't capable of that. However, I must admit that I don't like the way things ended.

After a week of debating with myself, I decided to go to the club Saturday night. I hate the fifty-minute drive, but it is like putting on a familiar shoe.

I saw a couple of familiar faces, but Gia was not there. I'm glad in a way. 

I wasn't there long when a cute dancer walked by me. She was heading toward the private rooms. I could tell she was looking for something with one of the bouncers. I gave her a smile and tried to engage her when she walked past me again, but it seemed like she hadn't found what she was after. She gave me a quick smile and kept going.

She came back a few minutes later. She told me she thought she lost her phone, but it ended up being in the dressing room. We started talking She is from Indiana, but move to the area to dance. She has a cute smile. She reminds me a bit of Tinkerbell. 

We ended up talking. She is an artist. Likes to paint. I took her to the private rooms where we continued our conversation. We talked about writing, Legos ourselves. By the end she was eager to exchange numbers. Maybe something will come of it. Either way, it was a good night.

 

Brief

 I signed up for a writer's workshop. It is run by an instructor from UCLA. It is a group composed of 8 writers and the instructor. Over the course of eight weeks, each writer submits twenty pages (twice) for the other members to evaluate.

Thursday was our first meeting. It seems pretty informal. Several of the students have been in prior workshops. My first twenty pages will be reviewed this week, along with those of another student.

Michigan went directly from winter to summer. Spring was not an option. During that instant switch-over, I started this post at least three four times. 

Max started working back at his old job on Monday, and by Wednesday, he was texting me saying it didn't work out. I wanted to scream, "Maybe the common denominator in your inability to hold down a job was him." 

Who quits a job without having another? He obviously needs the money. I don't know what to do anymore. He told me everything else is working for him right now. The last piece is the right job. I feel like a job is the bedrock for everything else to work out. 

Easter, Sort Of

I went to lunch with Max on Easter. He told me he’d just started back at his old job—the one at the company that makes custom walk-in freezers. At least for now, he’s stepping away from trying to make a full-time living painting Warhammer figurines.

He said staying at home was driving him crazy. That stood out to me, because I’ve always been the opposite. I don’t mind being home—I actually find it easier to focus, as long as I have something to work on. Hearing how things played out, it also reinforced my earlier instinct not to financially support his Warhammer venture. It just didn’t feel stable.

So after about a year of doing his own thing, he’s essentially back where he started. The main difference now is that he’s living in a condo his mom owns instead of at home. I have to admit, it’s hard for me to relate to his lack of direction at this stage. When I was younger than he is now, I couldn’t wait to move out. Once I did, I adjusted quickly—even factoring in living with my ex.

I assumed it might be similar for him, especially since he’s living with his girlfriend. Maybe that assumption was off. Maybe they weren’t as prepared for that transition as I thought.

The thing is, I don’t doubt his ability. Max is capable—he’s always been capable. It doesn’t seem like a question of whether he can do something, but whether he can stay focused on it long enough.

He told me before that he is thinking about asking his girlfriend to marry him next year. I just see that as another long-term learning experience he is not ready for.

Glimpse

 I woke to some unexpected good news today.  "Glimpse," has been accepted for publication in the spring 2026 print version of Welter. 

Yes, another of my pieces has been accepted. This really feels great, and it adds to my legitimacy in my bio for query letters. It boosts my confidence that there might just be an agent out there willing to take a chance on the memoir.

It also gives me the kick in the butt I needed to submit a few more pieces. I have been dragging my feet lately.

Query

 I have started actively querying agents, which is a job in itself.  First, you have to find one who wants to read more. Second, they need to want to represent the project. It is a long journey, but one I am willing to pursue at this point. 

I signed up for a small writers workshop led by an instructor from UCLA. Eight people max. I am hoping that produces some good feedback. At this point, I like editing as much as I do writing. I learn a lot from both.

Max is dealing with BPD (borderline personality disorder). In his case, it is probably true. He suggests I, too, have BPD. On that, I disagree. While I have some of the signs, none of them prohibit me from functioning 

I think therapy is a good thing, although I am resistant to placing all your trust in it or blaming all your issues on something like BPD. At some point, you have to also take responsibility. His generation leans into this therapy culture. 

March Without the Madness

 I'm still busy, but it is in a good way. I'm on my last round of edits for my memoir. It is about time to seek direction from someone more talented and knowledgeable. I haven't decided on whom. This memoir is not a money-making project, but it never has been for me.

I often say to myself, I'd rather create a well-crafted book than a poorly written bestseller. I don't care if people hate the narrator as long as they like the way it is written. That is my focus, and I have learned a lot since my first attempt. 

I continue to check how far I have drifted from the original raw blog post. I haven't rewritten history. Which is important to me. It is easy for someone writing a memoir twenty years after the event to unwittingly bend the story. I haven't. The main characters didn't question my writing back then. They can't question them now, though I don't think anyone cares anymore.

Max is painting War Hammer figure on a production level. He is having some issues with keeping his studio dust-free and cat-free. He even asked if he could use my basement as his studio at one point, but that hasn't happened yet. I wouldn't mind.

I haven't seen Max's girlfriend since they moved back to this side of town. I have two theories for that. Either she doesn't like me, or she is pregnant, and no one wants to say. Hopefully, neither is true. But I wouldn't be surprised by either.

This week's plan is to finish my edits, condo association meeting, start my taxes, and continue work on editing Ariel's book.

Currently we meet ever two weeks on Zoom. We used to meet in person, but she move about an hour north of me and I don't feel like making the trip in the winter. I've become very passionate about writing and craft. It's great to have someone to share it with.